Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
That, and where was this guy's lawyer to protect his client? Anecdotally, I've heard that many men sign whatever's put in front of them and don't ask or advocate for themselves. Don't agree to a settlement that screws you over.
He had a lawyer. Both of them did. I don't know the details. Former was just a coworker. The latter was a friend and professional mentor. The latter managed to get the alimony reduced when he remarried and started to support his step children through college; his ex-wife failed to return to the US in court to defend. He still lost the house... in NJ that is A LOT.
The key here is that in both cases (and many more I assume) are what contributes to men fearing marriage. My divorce lawyer friend of mine has many more stories to tell. Too bad she is in TX and I'm in NJ.
Everytime this topic comes up, there is a lot of speculation thrown around to try to explain away the bias. From where I sit, there is still clear bias... not in the written law.. but within the system.
from Cordell&Cordell website
"The inherent bias of the court system in favor of women further exacerbates divorce for many men. The result is that the judicial system - lawyers, judges, social workers, and the administration - is prone to assume, without proof, that moms should be the primary custodial parent, that men accused of abuse are guilty of abuse, and conversely, that men alleging abuse are lying or overreacting. The "system" assumes that women are not as capable of generating income as men are, and that a man is less deserving of assets earned by a woman than when the reverse circumstances exist."
When battling what you feel is fair to you with someone who thinks otherwise goes on long enough and involves court dates legal fees, lawyers and legal filings all you want is to make it go away and focus on the future.
It can become less about what you feel is right and more about just making it disappear from your life.
Money doesn't last forever, a stubborn legal battle can quickly drain you in filing fees alone.
People forget it actually costs you to challenge people back or defend your position, It's not just one side who has to pay out.
Yeah, that was basically what he thought too.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
And then there are the men (my ex) who take their half of the settlement ($50K) and put it down on a huge $500K house for his girlfriend, acquire 3 mortgages, and finally walk away from it 10 years later, $200K under water. Idiots!
Some men are better off with nothing
However that stupidity and similar financially ignorant decisions isn't just the male gender. Let's not cross over to the male bashing....
This thread shows it a little of this. Just look at those that questioned that the coworker of mine and mentor had a lawyer? Of course they did.... :-/ The tone quickly crossing over male bashing... Just imagine the same sentiment in real life while trying to make it through a tough divorce....
The over all tone in divorce stories is that during the process, it is often the men/father on the defensive. There is a factor of emotional distress that comes with that... long enough to convince someone to simply want it to end.
Kinda hard to explain... my friend explained it better.
"Die-hard gender roles, a bitter fight from breadwinning wives and macho pride, say family attorneys. And in some parts of the country, judges are flat-out sexist.
...
Gender equality is a relatively new concept in the span of history, and old stereotypes die hard," says San Francisco Bay area divorce attorney Mark Ressa. "A successful man is considered a breadwinning man, and asking for alimony is considered emasculating."
So in these cases, yes... the men are partly to blame.... There is no question, for men it is often perceived as an uphill-battle that they would rather not fight.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Y'all do know that Cordell and Cordell is a well known scammy law firm that preys on men's fears and screws them over due to them, right? They're complaint list is long and their reputation garbage. They keep selling themselves to these dudes fearful of being taken by their wife, and instead are taken by them, which in the end reinforces their belief the system is set up to screw them.
Y'all do know that Cordell and Cordell is a well known scammy law firm that preys on men's fears and screws them over due to them, right? They're complaint list is long and their reputation garbage. They keep selling themselves to these dudes fearful of being taken by their wife, and instead are taken by them, which in the end reinforces their belief the system is set up to screw them.
The same can be said for many law firms.. a business where you win and lose as well as make enemies. My friend is happy there... AND they've grown to almost every state plus expanded to UK. She herself is twice divorced...
You don't do that well, grow the firm to that size, purely on scams and if no real for that type of legal representation need exists. (oh but people do ignore that)
Bias exists not in written law but in the system built on people and their views/judgement.. Its so easy to discredit any sources and opinions... but it is disingenuous.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by usayit
You don't do that well, grow the firm to that size, purely on scams and if no real for that type of legal representation need exists.
Marketing that preys on fears is very effective.
Of course there is the need for legal representation. Of course, most people use mediators these days and going to actual court to battle is exceedingly rare.
Of course there is the need for legal representation. Of course, most people use mediators these days and going to actual court to battle is exceedingly rare.
So all the men that show concern are simply group hysteria? The firm grows to that size only on that success on marketing?
There is a saying... in the end you still got to deliver the goods.
I Must be lucky since 5 out of 5 divorces I know ended up in court. Two, in particular (as I already posted), resulted in exceeding bad hardship for the husband.
PS> Next you'll claim that C&C is fake news.. er firm... lol
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by usayit
So all the men that show concern are simply group hysteria? The firm grows to that size only on that success on marketing?
There is a saying... in the end you still got to deliver the goods.
I Must be lucky since 5 out of 5 divorces I know ended up in court. Two, in particular (as I already posted), resulted in exceeding bad hardship for the husband.
PS> Next you'll claim that C&C is fake news.. er firm... lol
All? No. Most? Yes.
No, marketing isn't enough, they need to be profitable to. That doesn't mean good. Plenty of places grow that don't deliver goods. That is ESPECIALLY true when it is a service company that doesn't rely on repeat business.
Only about 5% of divorces get battled out in court according to most sources, with a low of 2% to a high of 10%. So, even taking the very high estimate, its very unlikely a divorce will go to court.
The same can be said for many law firms.. a business where you win and lose as well as make enemies. My friend is happy there... AND they've grown to almost every state plus expanded to UK. She herself is twice divorced...
Another (dis)satisfied customer
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
