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Denny, I sent you a comment, I don't know if you received it. I clarified what I said earlier.
But there is a big difference between "attacking" and asking for honesty, which is what I said in a previous post. If you - and I am using the general you here, not you or wanderlust, or anyone else specifically - don't want to date women with kids, I don't care about that. That is a criteria that people have chosen. I have my own specific criteria too. I would not date someone who doesn't want to date a woman with kids - obviously - so it's no skin off of my nose. We have excluded each other.
Again, the only thing I care about is made up reasons like "All single moms have drama" or "All single moms are too busy with their kids." As we all know, when someone says "all single moms---" they are already wrong, because you cannot apply anything like that to a whole group of people. If someone says they don't want to date a parent, then that's all I need to know. There doesn't have to be a blanket qualifier for why.
If someone tells you why they don't want to date a person with kids and you respond by asking them to be honest, then you're basically saying they're lying. That's a personal attack and it's one that I and others here are taking issue with. Everyone has their preferences about who they will and won't date. I've learned to take them at face value and not dissect them and try to get at the person's true motives. Why can't you do the same? It really feels like you've taken my preference as a personal affront to you because you have kids.
Another thing is, all the women WORTH being in a relationship with, are just that, in a relationship with someone.
And if they do happen to be single, it's not for very long until they are gone.
And the complete weirdo's that nobody wants to be with, are of course single, and out there ready and waiting for you.
I do not agree. There are plenty of men and women who would make excellent partners to someone they love and so are "worth being in a relationship with" as you say but for one reason or another do not wish to be in one. Relationships are not a priority for everybody at every stage of life, nor are they a priority for some people at all. This does not make them "weirdos that nobody wants to be with." This makes them interested in other things. Often enough the people who are interested in other things are the same who people want to be with. I feel this is more true with women in this age group where a woman has a very nice life with work, friends, traveling, good health, and is enjoying herself and her happiness doing what she wishes. This appeals to many men so they approach her but she is happy as she is. Maybe she is divorced, maybe she has children who are all grown up, and now she wants to enjoy "her" time. I see this a lot. I feel it myself.
Denny, I sent you a comment, I don't know if you received it. I clarified what I said earlier.
But there is a big difference between "attacking" and asking for honesty, which is what I said in a previous post. If you - and I am using the general you here, not you or wanderlust, or anyone else specifically - don't want to date women with kids, I don't care about that. That is a criteria that people have chosen. I have my own specific criteria too. I would not date someone who doesn't want to date a woman with kids - obviously - so it's no skin off of my nose. We have excluded each other.
Again, the only thing I care about is made up reasons like "All single moms have drama" or "All single moms are too busy with their kids." As we all know, when someone says "all single moms---" they are already wrong, because you cannot apply anything like that to a whole group of people. If someone says they don't want to date a parent, then that's all I need to know. There doesn't have to be a blanket qualifier for why.
Good post. I used to rule out single mothers, BUT then I got older and moved to a city where I would never date if I wasn't open to it. In fact, I almost married a woman with a 4 year old daughter. I would have been her dad. Shame it didn't work out, but the mother was crazy. Lately, I mostly look for women who might have one child but would like another one. I'm much more flexible, but it is hard dating someone with kids. I accept it though.
I did have a date last night with a 38 year old woman with no kids, who's been divorced 10 years. Gotta wonder if there's issues there I'm missing, as she probably wonders about me too. Time will tell, but she seems like a unicorn so far.
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
Thanks
Well now you know how it feels to be abused on here.
Good post. I used to rule out single mothers, BUT then I got older and moved to a city where I would never date if I wasn't open to it. In fact, I almost married a woman with a 4 year old daughter. I would have been her dad. Shame it didn't work out, but the mother was crazy. Lately, I mostly look for women who might have one child but would like another one. I'm much more flexible, but it is hard dating someone with kids. I accept it though.
I did have a date last night with a 38 year old woman with no kids, who's been divorced 10 years. Gotta wonder if there's issues there I'm missing, as she probably wonders about me too. Time will tell, but she seems like a unicorn so far.
Well now you know how it feels to be abused on here.
You wonder if she has issues and if she does not she is a "unicorn?" Do you believe that people who do not have issues just would not be single past a certain age? Is it not possible for healthy people to be single?
For this matter what is an "issue?" Because she did not remarry she could have an "issue?" None of this makes sense to me. Maybe she is perfectly fine and did not wish to deal with anyone else's issues!
You wonder if she has issues and if she does not she is a "unicorn?" Do you believe that people who do not have issues just would not be single past a certain age? Is it not possible for healthy people to be single?
For this matter what is an "issue?" Because she did not remarry she could have an "issue?" None of this makes sense to me. Maybe she is perfectly fine and did not wish to deal with anyone else's issues!
No need to attack me on this. I'll explain. We all have issues, but do we recognize them and work on them is the question. If she does, she may be a unicorn. Unicorn is just a funny word I started using after watching the "Hot Crazy Matrix" video on youtube. Hilarious. Point is, I work on mine and I want someone who's also into personal growth. From what I can tell about her, we have this in common.
Do you really want me to define what an issue is? I mean, thats broad. Could be anything from being an alcoholic, having a personality disorder, not being over an ex, anger issues, etc. When I say issue I mean big ones like those, not small insecurities. By the way, men also get judged for not being married/remarried after being single a long time. No need to get defensive about it, we just have to prove ourselves.
You wonder if she has issues and if she does not she is a "unicorn?" Do you believe that people who do not have issues just would not be single past a certain age? Is it not possible for healthy people to be single?
For this matter what is an "issue?" Because she did not remarry she could have an "issue?" None of this makes sense to me. Maybe she is perfectly fine and did not wish to deal with anyone else's issues!
lol, overact much, jeez. What atlguy said made perfect sense and applies to both sexes.
lol, overact much, jeez. What atlguy said made perfect sense and applies to both sexes.
Thanks Chow. I didn't think I said anything offensive. Some people are just too sensitive.
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