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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
My standards are going up by age. Not in the looks department, but everything else.
Mine are going up there as well, as the people I've dated over the last five years are hotter than pretty much any other time in my life, except for two girls in my 20s.
I've seen quite a few women in their 40s who are married to men more than 10 years older. Were those women rejected by men their own age and forced to "settle" for older men? Who knows? I was never one of those guys that women flocked to. So to be rejected by women now doesn't feel like a big change. It's hard to relate to women who say the pendulum has swung. If you're used to getting lots of attention and now get very little, do you (not you specifically) lower your standards? Hopefully that isn't the case. But when I look at some of the men 40+ women end up with, it does cross my mind. Did you choose to be with this guy because he showed interest and you figured you might not get another opportunity like this anytime soon?
Well, that definitely won't be me. Learned my lesson not to settle anymore. That's why I'm pickier than ever. Back when I was younger, I only settled because I was in relationships for the wrong reasons. Now that I've grown and see my worth, I want to meet someone who deserves me. I'm not saying that because I think I'm better than anyone, but it's because I did not value myself for the longest time and I was in poor relationships when I did that. The number one priority would have to be that he's really into me and vice versa.
I met a guy who I thought was really into me. He was gorgeous and looked young for his age (he's early 40's). It seems as soon as he found out my age and background (divorced and single mom), he lost interest in me. He's now chasing a 20 year old. As gorgeous as he was, I was only into him because he had given me so much attention. Once that attention was gone, my attraction for him diminished a lot. So...that's another thing. It's very attractive to me when a guy takes action to show me that he's into me. That's another problem. No one approaches me anymore at this age.
I haven't had luck with quality men my age and those that are 1-10 years older. They're usually all married even if they are unhappy in their marriages. I thought I would be into someone 10+ years older, but I think it really comes down to how young they act and look. By young I mean, someone who is adventurous and fun, and still looks good for his age.
Well, that definitely won't be me. Learned my lesson not to settle anymore. That's why I'm pickier than ever. Back when I was younger, I only settled because I was in relationships for the wrong reasons. Now that I've grown and see my worth, I want to meet someone who deserves me. I'm not saying that because I think I'm better than anyone, but it's because I did not value myself for the longest time and I was in poor relationships when I did that. The number one priority would have to be that he's really into me and vice versa.
I met a guy who I thought was really into me. He was gorgeous and looked young for his age (he's early 40's). It seems as soon as he found out my age and background (divorced and single mom), he lost interest in me. He's now chasing a 20 year old. As gorgeous as he was, I was only into him because he had given me so much attention. Once that attention was gone, my attraction for him diminished a lot. So...that's another thing. It's very attractive to me when a guy takes action to show me that he's into me. That's another problem. No one approaches me anymore at this age.
I haven't had luck with quality men my age and those that are 1-10 years older. They're usually all married even if they are unhappy in their marriages. I thought I would be into someone 10+ years older, but I think it really comes down to how young they act and look. By young I mean, someone who is adventurous and fun, and still looks good for his age.
How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? Single mom thing wouldn't deter me at all (depending on how many kids, of course), as I want to be a father.
I've seen quite a few women in their 40s who are married to men more than 10 years older. Were those women rejected by men their own age and forced to "settle" for older men? Who knows? I was never one of those guys that women flocked to. So to be rejected by women now doesn't feel like a big change. It's hard to relate to women who say the pendulum has swung. If you're used to getting lots of attention and now get very little, do you (not you specifically) lower your standards? Hopefully that isn't the case. But when I look at some of the men 40+ women end up with, it does cross my mind. Did you choose to be with this guy because he showed interest and you figured you might not get another opportunity like this anytime soon?
Personally, I've always liked older men. Definitely not lowering standards as I age (38 soon). I think with maturity you learn to not care about some things as much, though.
Well, that definitely won't be me. Learned my lesson not to settle anymore. That's why I'm pickier than ever. Back when I was younger, I only settled because I was in relationships for the wrong reasons. Now that I've grown and see my worth, I want to meet someone who deserves me. I'm not saying that because I think I'm better than anyone, but it's because I did not value myself for the longest time and I was in poor relationships when I did that. The number one priority would have to be that he's really into me and vice versa.
I met a guy who I thought was really into me. He was gorgeous and looked young for his age (he's early 40's). It seems as soon as he found out my age and background (divorced and single mom), he lost interest in me. He's now chasing a 20 year old. As gorgeous as he was, I was only into him because he had given me so much attention. Once that attention was gone, my attraction for him diminished a lot. So...that's another thing. It's very attractive to me when a guy takes action to show me that he's into me. That's another problem. No one approaches me anymore at this age.
But why is that attractive to you in the first place? Is it because no one approaches you anymore? This is the point I was getting at. That if you're someone who was used to getting a lot of attention and now you're not, does the attention you finally do get cause you be attracted to that person? Cause if that's the case, then it seems like the reason you're attracted to him is because he makes you feel good about yourself. I'm not used to getting attention from women. If a woman does show interest in me, I'll be flattered, but it won't make me more attracted to her.
But why is that attractive to you in the first place? Is it because no one approaches you anymore? This is the point I was getting at. That if you're someone who was used to getting a lot of attention and now you're not, does the attention you finally do get cause you be attracted to that person? Cause if that's the case, then it seems like the reason you're attracted to him is because he makes you feel good about yourself. I'm not used to getting attention from women. If a woman does show interest in me, I'll be flattered, but it won't make me more attracted to her.
If she's always been attracted to that, why would it change as she got older?
Well, that definitely won't be me. Learned my lesson not to settle anymore. That's why I'm pickier than ever. Back when I was younger, I only settled because I was in relationships for the wrong reasons. Now that I've grown and see my worth, I want to meet someone who deserves me. I'm not saying that because I think I'm better than anyone, but it's because I did not value myself for the longest time and I was in poor relationships when I did that. The number one priority would have to be that he's really into me and vice versa.
I met a guy who I thought was really into me. He was gorgeous and looked young for his age (he's early 40's). It seems as soon as he found out my age and background (divorced and single mom), he lost interest in me. He's now chasing a 20 year old. As gorgeous as he was, I was only into him because he had given me so much attention. Once that attention was gone, my attraction for him diminished a lot. So...that's another thing. It's very attractive to me when a guy takes action to show me that he's into me. That's another problem. No one approaches me anymore at this age.
I haven't had luck with quality men my age and those that are 1-10 years older. They're usually all married even if they are unhappy in their marriages. I thought I would be into someone 10+ years older, but I think it really comes down to how young they act and look. By young I mean, someone who is adventurous and fun, and still looks good for his age.
Get a cat or 3, they'll give you all the attention you require
Why are you so down on OKC? Is the dating scene really that tough there? Have you tried churches? Lots of women at those mega churches in Bible Belt land.
I live in San Diego and it's tough out here too. Lots of women for guys making $200K and up. So if only I can double my income, I'll really be in the money ha ha.
I feel for you...it has to be horrible to try and date out there as a man.
I have a lack of options but at least the women in my area are real and have good values. They will give middle class or working class guys a chance.
With some of my friends their wife actually makes more than they do. You would think people in more progressive states wouldn't still be stuck on 1950's era gender roles. I don't know I guess they just like money out there :-/.
Quote:
Originally Posted by the minx
Personally, I've always liked older men. Definitely not lowering standards as I age (38 soon). I think with maturity you learn to not care about some things as much, though.
I'm a man over 35 but my standards are about the same as they always have been, other than the no kids requirement which naturally wasn't an issue when I was younger.
I don't get why women say they get pickier as they get older. That makes no sense, it's not like their market value goes up as they get older or something. Mens do not either unless he's loaded or is a 40 year old bodybuilder that looks 27 or something.
Last edited by wanderlust76; 06-26-2017 at 01:23 PM..
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My standards are going up by age. Not in the looks department, but everything else.
