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I would like to know as well. I have decided to try OLD early 2018, I am curious to see what it could be like. Your friend's experience so far with online dating sounds similar to my girlfriends here. Much more attention online than in their day to day life. I don't think that people turn to OLD because they do not have options in their daily life.
Which makes sense considering you're visible to more people. I wasn't into bars and clubs when I was in the dating scene, and you only come across so many people while out and about. Running errands, taking kids to school, trips to various stores or whatever weren't usually the places you find potential interests and dates. The vast majority of men in my preferred age range were likely to be married, so that reduces the dating pool, or they were too young. I still received winks, flirty chit-chat, numbers on receipts, cold approaches, cat calls, etc., but the volume was considerably larger online due to the exposure in this online medium. Rather than relying on the exposure to the people in my general area that I frequented, it was the entire metro area. So it stands to reason the attention is greater when you're dealing with a larger pool of people.
I received far more messages than my husband, though he certainly had good experiences compared to most. He's not exactly chopped liver.
I prefer meeting someone in real life. You don't know the person online. You get no vibe from them until you do meet them. You can only judge them by how well they photograph and write. Very superficial. You don't get to see how they are in reality, and the way anyone acts on a date/meet up is not reality. The whole thing is more like going on a job interview and seeing if this person is an acceptable candidate.
But, on the other hand, you have to get out into the world to meet someone face-to-face. Church, gym, book club, volunteering etc. If all someone does is go to work/school then go home during the week, then perhaps online dating is their only option. You can look at photos and read bios in your spare time. Its at your convenience.
Women will get more hits than men because that is how the hetero-sexual human animal is hardwired.
The question was "Do girls get more attention in OLD than in real life? "
I'd say, sure.
Not as many scammers/profile hackers in real life.
Also, not as many guys that will just come up to you in person and tell you what they'd like to do with or for you.
Hey, you didn't say what kind of attention!
Attention I receive IRL is purely physical, based on looks. Ironically enough- that's what people say about OLD, but at least with OLD the other people know how old I am, what I'm looking for, and what kind of personality I have. They can then choose not to send a message.
IRL I'm not looking exclusively looking for a romantic partner, I'm buying groceries, working, working out, walking, going to an appointment, and my best Bachelorette personality isn't on display. I'm rather serious and introverted in public, I mind my own business and am not on the "hunt." Not a lot of attention to be had or acknowledged when I'm not seeking it.
If I didn't notice a guy saying: "hey what's up" wink wink, he's not going to come back and find me 3 days later to tell me I'm rude ask me if I think I'm too good for him.
I prefer meeting someone in real life. You don't know the person online.
You know even less about a random person you meet in-person. I knew nothing of the men who approached and flirted with me. Whether they were available, their age, if they had kids, what they were looking for, their position on the ToE, if they were flat Earthers, whether they wanted [more] kids, if they were DC or Marvel fans, or if their loyalty lies with Star Wars vs. Star Trek, sense of humor, glimpse of their personality, etc. Absolutely nothing.
I knew my husband's passions and interests, that he's introverted and somewhat shy, sings and plays the guitar, draws comics, loves blues, historical fiction and cinema, enjoys writing and is a voracious reader, and a great deal more. Considerably more than exchanging glances or being hit on by a random stranger.
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You get no vibe from them until you do meet them.
I got plenty of vibes with many of the people I interacted with not just through dating sites, but online communities as well. I knew a great deal of important information about my husband before I sent him a message. More than I would have had we crossed paths in-person.
And physical vibes, outside appreciating another's good looks, does very little for me in terms of sparking interest. Just being nice to ogle wasn't enough to catch my interest.
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You can only judge them by how well they photograph and write.
For those comfortable with the medium, they can present themselves in a way that conveys or portrays who they are, what they're about, what they're looking for, and other bits of information, if they're so inclined.
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Very superficial.
Like relying on looks and physical vibes in-person and nothing else? That's pretty surface level. The men who took interest in me knew absolutely nothing about me or if there was a baseline compatibility. They approached based solely on what they saw. Not my personality, smarts, interests, sense of humor, wittiness, and other useful and valuable information. Yeah, pretty superficial.
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You don't get to see how they are in reality,
Like...shopping, getting groceries, visiting the bank, running errands, eating at a restaurant, etc.? These activities present an accurate picture that sparks interest? If you're referring to venues that attracts singles, these places aren't exactly known for their substance and "seeing the real person." They're putting their best face/look forward to look appealing to potential interests, and that's pretty much it. And looks very much matter in these situations.
It makes sense to consider that the dynamics and approach to dating is dependent on one's life stage. A young 20-something will likely have a different social group, dating pool and schedule than someone in their upper 30s coming out of 10+ year relationships that may have kids and a host of other responsibilities that make socializing more difficult. Their social group is likely to consist of married people, not young and care-free singles.
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and the way anyone acts on a date/meet up is not reality. The whole thing is more like going on a job interview and seeing if this person is an acceptable candidate.
I went on over 100 dates during the time I was in the dating scene. Never once did a date feel like an awkward job interview. I also had extensive phone conversations with the majority of my dates before ever meeting. Even FaceTimes and Skyped with many.
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But, on the other hand, you have to get out into the world to meet someone face-to-face.
Kind of like people do online. They still have to meet in-person. They have to assess in-person chemistry and interest. You just have more to go on before deciding to go on a date.
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Church, gym, book club, volunteering etc. If all someone does is go to work/school then go home during the week, then perhaps online dating is their only option. You can look at photos and read bios in your spare time. Its at your convenience.
Not everyone goes to church, and a lot of people don't look for dates at the gym. The writing and book clubs I was part of were either mostly women or much older married men. And the groups dominated by men were usually far too young or married and older, sometimes older couples. My main social group also consisted of married and divorced women. The majority of men in their late 30s to mid-40s were divorced and had children, and had tight schedules that didn't allow them the flexibility to socialize the usual way. Dating sites weren't just a matter of convenience, but also more efficient and effective for narrowing one's dating pool and filtering potential matches.
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Women will get more hits than men because that is how the hetero-sexual human animal is hardwired.
I do think you can get a deeper look into a person's...data...the facts that reflect a lot about them, online. But the physical component is of course also necessary before I would ever know if I could date them. A guy isn't gonna say, "I have horrific dandruff, several missing and rotten teeth, and on first dates I'm a twitchy, sweaty, nervous wreck" in a dating profile. My physical attraction standards are not through the roof, but there is certainly a minimum threshold SOMEWHERE.
I think one thing that makes OLD a bit challenging compared to just meeting people in social environments, is that there is such a specific purpose there, it really is like a job interview for both people when you finally meet in person for the first time. In a social group I could have conversations that weren't necessarily backed by the idea that if it all goes well, this stranger and I will be naked together...I can easily back out if some guy seems to be getting ideas and I'm not trying to go "there" and not necessarily make him feel rejected. Whereas, if I go on a date with a dude and know that I don't want to go further with him, well...now I get to decide if I'm going to try and be nice, or if I'm going to lay the hard truth on him, or if I'm going to just ghost, or what, and any way you cut it he might not be happy about it because he's getting an answer he doesn't want to hear to a question that is definitively on the table.
And seriously, not all of the attention a woman gets on OLD is flattering or ego boosting. Some of it can be almost insulting. Some is painfully stupid. I don't get a big ego boost from some random dog coming up to sniff my backside, and that's what it almost feels like with some of these dudes.
Girls seem to be pretty busy in OLD, however realistically most people only turn to OLD if/when they lack prospects in real life.
No.
OLD allows women to explore options they could not do as easily in "real life". Particularly interracial or intercultural but it has nothing to do prospects. Women always have prospects, even when they swear that they don't. It has more to do with what they may not have the nerve to do on their own. Women may not like their prospects, but they are definitely there, even if they don't get any sunlight and they're out of sight, out of mind. Someone knows about it.
OLD allows women to explore options they could not do as easily in "real life". Particularly interracial or intercultural but it has nothing to do prospects. Women always have prospects, even when they swear that they don't. It has more to do with what they may not have the nerve to do on their own. Women may not like their prospects, but they are definitely there, even if they don't get any sunlight and they're out of sight, out of mind. Someone knows about it.
Yeah actually I do really like the fact that OLD allows introverts to reach out more easily. I may be an extrovert, but I have met some fascinating introverts that I never would have otherwise.
They get bombarded with thirsty guys, even the ones who can break mirrors.
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