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Old 12-06-2017, 05:50 PM
 
Location: Houston, TX
814 posts, read 760,659 times
Reputation: 750

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Most women will make it clear if they want you to approach. I don't know why it seems so complicated to people.
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Old 12-06-2017, 05:54 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
11,396 posts, read 24,465,484 times
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Most of the time it’s okay, as long as it’s more friendly than creepy. Coworkers and married people are no goes. I’d rather be somewhat acquainted with someone rather than be approached by a complete stranger on the street. Yeah, approaches on the street might get you severely injured.
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Old 12-06-2017, 05:58 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,218 posts, read 107,999,816 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSykes View Post
Or does place/setting not factor into the likelihood of a favorable response to the one approaching?
We had a thread on this, once; asking if public places were ok, or on the street, or something. The main rule of thumb is that accosting someone on the street tends to be viewed negatively. IDK what it is about that; maybe it comes too close to cat-calling strangers, even if you're polite, IDK.

But approaching in an enclosed space (store, library, lecture hall, for ex.), or at an event, whether outdoor or indoor, is better. I'm thinking that someplace that provides a context is what women feel more comfortable with, vs. saying hello as someone walks by on the sidewalk. A context for conversation, like you're both involved in a certain experience (shopping, browsing art at an art fair, enjoying the music at an outdoor (or indoor) concert, so you share a moment, there. Out on the street, not only is there no context, but somehow it's just way too random out there, and women tend to get yelled at or approached by transients out there anyway, so it's not good to put yourself in that position.

I don't know how to explain it any more then that. Somehow, women feel more vulnerable on the street, I guess, is one way to put it.
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Old 12-06-2017, 06:06 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,218 posts, read 107,999,816 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaycich View Post
Most women will make it clear if they want you to approach. I don't know why it seems so complicated to people.
They can't make it clear to you, if they don't know you exist. If you see her before she sees you, and you decide you'd like to say "hello", you're going to have to make the first move. Or if you're part of a crowd she's walking past, how would she know you exist and are interested? You'd have to somehow get on her radar, first.

And if you're a complete stranger, how would she know she wants you to approach, anyway? She knows nothing about you. I don't know why people hang back until they feel like they can get a "signal". If you're outgoing and friendly as a general thing, it's not a big deal to strike up a chat with anyone. You don't need a "signal". Women generally don't wait for a signal, if they're interested in a guy.
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Old 12-06-2017, 06:19 PM
 
4,210 posts, read 4,462,073 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nov3 View Post
I'd suggest you stay far away from the opposite gender. There is blood in the water and most will accuse you of something 'indecent'. For your future self...And your own reputation...Keep away from others. This #metoo group has some gall and will spin your smile into an adventure or say your tone was harassing. Your friends should be with you so you have witnesses. I fear dearly for this upcoming generation...The men are immediately the bad guys....
(PS I'm female and I shy away from guys .I sleep with a good conscious that a parents son didn't get tossed under the bus of social disgraces...)

True. It makes for an exploding market in body cameras.
I'm thinking not only is it a great investment, but I may need to get one as things keep degenerating. Interestingly, on tangential thought the police like the wearable cameras as it most often proves them to be acting properly and the criminals / litigious lottery seekers in life do not.



Personally, while I am not of the MGTOW crowd, I can definitely see how some, after a few bad experiences, embrace the idea.

Even with the sexual harassment training I experienced in the corporate environment over a few decades, I always made a point of letting the females I worked with know to tell me if I ever said anything that offended them or made them uncomfortable as I would never intentionally do so. Never had a problem.

Relating back to personal relationships and attempts to approach someone one is interested in, I think what has happened is the built in reinforced animus toward the opposite sex has succeeded in making a vast majority of people (of either gender) afraid of each other. It is indeed sad.

As for proper places to approach it can be most anywhere, but as a few mentioned earlier, it depends on:
1) Mindset of the woman in question (one never knows what is on their mind)
2) What the 'approacher' looks like and the
3) vibe they give off (body language/ verbal ability / mental acuity et al)


For the OPs consideration and a good review since I'm feeling lyrical....
["I should have had a whirl to change into a girl to learn the way the creatures think!"]


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U55m_TzM7jw
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Old 12-06-2017, 06:29 PM
 
Location: Houston, TX
814 posts, read 760,659 times
Reputation: 750
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
They can't make it clear to you, if they don't know you exist. If you see her before she sees you, and you decide you'd like to say "hello", you're going to have to make the first move. Or if you're part of a crowd she's walking past, how would she know you exist and are interested? You'd have to somehow get on her radar, first.

And if you're a complete stranger, how would she know she wants you to approach, anyway? She knows nothing about you. I don't know why people hang back until they feel like they can get a "signal". If you're outgoing and friendly as a general thing, it's not a big deal to strike up a chat with anyone. You don't need a "signal". Women generally don't wait for a signal, if they're interested in a guy.
Alright Ruth if you insist. We can go about like that, but after saying something, shouldn't it then be clear whether or not they're interested in talking?

Take for instance a girl at the grocery store. Let's say I grab a bag of Starbucks and a bag of Duncan and ask which she prefers. If she says she doesn't drink coffee with an engaging smile, I'd be more inclined to keep talking. If she says Starbucks with a blank expression and goes back to her business. Isn't that a clear sign she ain't interested, no?
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Old 12-06-2017, 06:36 PM
 
Location: singapore
1,869 posts, read 1,828,296 times
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Hmm I don’t think there is a proper place to approach..

Anywhere .. anytime.. the only catch is whether the other party appeals to me
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Old 12-06-2017, 06:36 PM
 
6,844 posts, read 3,964,873 times
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True. Maybe it's a generation thing. Maybe decades ago men expected to be rejected and considered it par for the course, and didn't take it as a blow to their ego. When I was single, only a fraction of the women I asked out said yes. But those that did were as happy to be there as I was.

These days my wife and I are retired and my wife tells me about the older men who strike up conversations with her at the super market. We both think it is cute. No one is offended.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
They can't make it clear to you, if they don't know you exist. If you see her before she sees you, and you decide you'd like to say "hello", you're going to have to make the first move. Or if you're part of a crowd she's walking past, how would she know you exist and are interested? You'd have to somehow get on her radar, first.

And if you're a complete stranger, how would she know she wants you to approach, anyway? She knows nothing about you. I don't know why people hang back until they feel like they can get a "signal". If you're outgoing and friendly as a general thing, it's not a big deal to strike up a chat with anyone. You don't need a "signal". Women generally don't wait for a signal, if they're interested in a guy.
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Old 12-06-2017, 06:38 PM
 
Location: Queens, NY
4,523 posts, read 3,408,576 times
Reputation: 6031
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaycich View Post
Alright Ruth if you insist. We can go about like that, but after saying something, shouldn't it then be clear whether or not they're interested in talking?

Take for instance a girl at the grocery store. Let's say I grab a bag of Starbucks and a bag of Duncan and ask which she prefers. If she says she doesn't drink coffee with an engaging smile, I'd be more inclined to keep talking. If she says Starbucks with a blank expression and goes back to her business. Isn't that a clear sign she ain't interested, no?
True, but that doesn't always mean she's interested in you. She just might be friendly and being playful.

This is why I just mainly stick with online dating. At least on there, you know the women are single and looking, and if you're both having a back and forth conversation, you know where it's likely going to lead to ( a likely date and possibly more).
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Old 12-06-2017, 06:46 PM
 
Location: Houston, TX
814 posts, read 760,659 times
Reputation: 750
Actually most online dating interactions go nowhere. Even though girls swipe right. They just do it to flirt and have no intention to meet.
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