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When we had children she still had her maiden name; wasn't really important to us. Then we had children and it started to bother her that she didn't share the same name as them. Then one day a lady approached her asking how long ago she adopted the children (they are of mixed race). That really upset her and that's when she decided to change her name.
When I dated a single mother, one lesson I learned is that the BF will never be the number 1 focus in her life... that will always be a place for her children. Take it or leave it.... I accepted it with open arms.
I hope your BF understands that... the last name isn't as much of a reminder of a past relationship but rather the current one with your children. Make that point.... and you can only hope he has the understanding to accept that.
Why does the ex 'have' to have your name on the insurance?
Because I own the truck and he has to insure me as an additional insured on the policy to protect me if he has a major accident. We both carry high limits, because we both do own real estate.
Because I own the truck and he has to insure me as an additional insured on the policy to protect me if he has a major accident. We both carry high limits, because we both do own real estate.
Sorry, this make no sense.
Are you on the title alone, or are you both on the title?
If you are the registered owner, why is the insurance in his name?
LMAO what? So you're keeping it because it sounds better than my maiden name and it's easier to spell?
Umm, I know your ex is the father of your kids, but.....you need to drop his last name and move on from him. He still has that control over you, over a freakin truck? Are you kidding me?
Yes, it's just a name, but he's not connected to you anymore. Drop his name and move on. Don't keep a name just cause "it's easier to spell".
Why? The name issue is her current boyfriend's not hers.
Mr. CSD and I have been married 11 years and I never changed my last name from my ex-husband's.
His name in no way has given him continued control over me and Mr. CSD is not insecure about me not using his last name.
What a ridiculous idea.....
The truck issue with the ex husband will not magically go away with a simple name change, I would venture to guess there are legal issues that were never settled however, if the OP has been divorced
*many years ago* one would think any legal financial ties would have been settled *many years ago*.
Are you on the title alone, or are you both on the title?
If you are the registered owner, why is the insurance in his name?
Better yet, why does he have the truck?
Can't you sign over the title to him?
How does it not make sense? If he wrecks the truck. The person he injures is going to sue the owner, which is me and him as the driver. He carries insurance as he is the driver, that has possession of the truck, to protect him and me.
It is just me on the title because I bought it as a gift right before we got married. He got the truck in the divorce uncontested, so he has the truck.
I have signed about 5 or 6 copies of the title over the years to him. For whatever reason his hold up is signing his name, going to the MVA and getting the truck in his name. He told me last night that he thinks he just needs copies of the divorce decree. I told him I am happy to give him copies and help him through the process.
I would have kept my married name if I had divorced because it was easier to pronounce and spell.
Silly for the new BF to attach any significance to that.
The truck is a different matter and not what you asked about but if I were a serious new BF, that attachment would concern me more.
He's no longer your concern, or shouldn't be, and not your overly pampered kid.
Cut the strings on that.
Well, I have a feeling that the boyfriend is reacting more to the whole general, keeping the ex in her life, than just his last name.
OP, I'm curious...do you feel like you're somehow responsible for the ex? Like maybe you feel guilty for divorcing him?
Why? The name issue is her current boyfriend's not hers.
Mr. CSD and I have been married 11 years and I never changed my last name from my ex-husband's.
His name in no way has given him continued control over me and Mr. CSD is not insecure about me not using his last name.
What a ridiculous idea.....
The truck issue with the ex husband will not magically go away with a simple name change, I would venture to guess there are legal issues that were never settled however, if the OP has been divorced
*many years ago* one would think any legal financial ties would have been settled *many years ago*.
I think ex needed me for insurance/ registration issues because he has an awful driving record and does not always have a valid license. Or it was his way of keeping part of me. I really don't know but I have tried figuring it out for years. At one point I offered to pay all the money for fees to switch it and he still would not do it.
How does it not make sense? If he wrecks the truck. The person he injures is going to sue the owner, which is me and him as the driver. He carries insurance as he is the driver, that has possession of the truck, to protect him and me.
It is just me on the title because I bought it as a gift right before we got married. He got the truck in the divorce uncontested, so he has the truck.
I have signed about 5 or 6 copies of the title over the years to him. For whatever reason his hold up is signing his name, going to the MVA and getting the truck in his name. He told me last night that he thinks he just needs copies of the divorce decree. I told him I am happy to give him copies and help him through the process.
Oh God, you are low on luck coz well, you let yourself get fooled. There is no way I am gonna write up to 6 copies to turn over the title to someone. I will only write it once and do it myself if my ex is a tool like yours, for real.
I do understand why you won't change your name coz of your kids. Yolanda, Gigi Hadid's mom changed back her last name same as all her kids, too.
But damn, woman, why you let the tool (ex husband) string you along like that?
I married young, and have been divorced a really long time. I kept my ex husbands last name so that my daughter and I would have the same last name. It just made sense at the time because I assumed I would remarry and my daughter and I could both change to the new husbands last name. Obviously that never happened.
This weekend, following an issue with my ex husbands truck, still in my name, my ex husband casually mentioned to my brother that if I changed my last name, his issues would not involve me. (The truck being put in his name would resolve the issues...)
So then my bf of several years, mentioned it bothers him that I use my ex husbands name. To me it is just a name. It sounds better than my maiden name, easier to spell and same as my daughter.
I would love to have the same last name as both my children, but I think it is to late to make name changes. I regret giving my son his fathers last name instead of using my current last name.
The last time my last name came up, I thought of just using my grandparents last name but that is confusing also.
Do names really matter? Should my bf be bothered that I have the same last night as my ex husband? My gut just says let it go and this too shall pass...
If you remarried, your daughter would still probably have the same last name as her father, so while keeping it now is alright, it doesn’t mean you’ll always have the same name.
Most women who divorce with children keep their ex husbands name for the reason you said.
My son and his ex wife divorced and she was supposed to revert to her former name. They had no children. My son does not like that she still uses his name. We e even seen her name in the paper as Our name-New husband. This just seems weird.
I think ex needed me for insurance/ registration issues because he has an awful driving record and does not always have a valid license. Or it was his way of keeping part of me. I really don't know but I have tried figuring it out for years. At one point I offered to pay all the money for fees to switch it and he still would not do it.
What's the for? You admit you let your ex use you? Why? You are divorced. His legal anything is not your problem anymore. And then you post here saying you are low on luck? Girl,
I thought the point of divorcing someone is to rid you of the pest?
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