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A friend's girlfriend wants to take overseas trips without him.
They initially dated for a month and a half after knowing each other for almost a year.
Afterwards, they went on a overseas trip for a week with one of her friends (the original plan was for her and 2 female friends to go, but one of them dropped out creating an available spot). The trip was planned before they starting dating. The girlfriend's friend (let's call her Sally) felt like a third wheel.
Then, they spent a year in a LTR due to a job change on her part. The plan was that he was going to move to where she lived in a year. when his own work contract was completed. They saw each other for 2 weeks every 3 months.
A week before he was set to move there, she told him that she wanted to go on occasional overseas trips without him with her girlfriends starting with a trip with Sally during the Christmas holiday for about a week and a half though no plans are set in stone yet. She told him that she needed some "girl time" on occasion without him. He felt excluded and is not Ok with the idea of not being able to go along on these occasional "girl trips" she wants to go on. He is thinking of breaking up with her over it. He has already shipped some of his belongings to her apartment in this new city. He can't stay in the city where he is at because his work contract will be completed in less than a week.
My friend and his girlfriend have an upcoming cruise planned. He is thinking of cancelling his portion of the reservation for which he would 50% of his payment refunded due to how close it is to the date. In a week, he would get 25% refunded. If he waits 2 weeks, we would not get anything refunded.
What do you think about his situation and what do you think he should do?
More importantly, why is he so controlling? He clearly doesn't have his own friends or life without her. He can't stifle her freedom and enjoyment of her friends. Unless he can truly be ok with her having a life outside of their relationship, as most healthy normal relationships should be, those two will not last long. Tell your "friend" he's going to suffocate her if he doesn't get his own hobbies.
Grown ups should be able to do things and go places independently. My daughter is in Italy with 3 girlfriends right now. Last summer, her husband took their son and some friends to Europe. They have been married for 20+ years though.
I think the OP is in a new relationship and doesn’t understand why the girlfriend would rather be with others instead of him. He is right to feel uneasy about that. It sounds like she’s not that into him.
they both sound like they're in high school, move on.
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