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As a woman, I don't get this concept. Yet I have heard people talking about it repeatedly. Sometimes I need space to process my thought/situations, but I usually bounce back or I am not neglectful. But some men pulled back, and people were okay with it. What the heck!
It’s usually a sign that the guy doesn’t want as much togetherness as you do. Best to walk away completely because I’ve never heard of things getting better.
I think that phrase could mean different things to different people, men or women.
It could mean, "I need you specifically, to back off. I feel that you are trying to lay claim to more of me, than I really want to offer you."
Or if you're in a good relationship, it could simply be that a person is an introvert and needs some measure of alone time to recharge. I'm an extrovert in a relationship with an introvert right now, though I like having my own space, too. We live in different parts of the house, but still spend a lot of our free time together. He just has a stronger need for that alone time than I do, it's actually quite important for his mental health. For me, it's kind of a luxury. I like having my room where I can work on art projects or whatever.
So context and the nature of the withdrawal...it matters. And I have known plenty of women who needed "space" for either of these reasons, too. Though it might be that women, especially when we have kids, feel less entitlement to act on our own needs in such ways sometimes.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie
It’s usually a sign that the guy doesn’t want as much togetherness as you do. Best to walk away completely because I’ve never heard of things getting better.
You kidding me? Sometimes it is just because a woman is trying to push for too damn much too damn fast and of course we feel suffocated.
Nothing wrong with this at all. My g/f has times like this when she is really stressed at work or something and she'll go to her place for a few days. I'm the same way too, and these are times I'll do a solo hiking trip or go fishing. I've never felt the need to be joined at the hip 24/7.
I think that phrase could mean different things to different people, men or women.
It could mean, "I need you specifically, to back off. I feel that you are trying to lay claim to more of me, than I really want to offer you."
Or if you're in a good relationship, it could simply be that a person is an introvert and needs some measure of alone time to recharge. I'm an extrovert in a relationship with an introvert right now, though I like having my own space, too. We live in different parts of the house, but still spend a lot of our free time together. He just has a stronger need for that alone time than I do, it's actually quite important for his mental health. For me, it's kind of a luxury. I like having my room where I can work on art projects or whatever.
So context and the nature of the withdrawal...it matters. And I have known plenty of women who needed "space" for either of these reasons, too. Though it might be that women, especially when we have kids, feel less entitlement to act on our own needs in such ways sometimes.
I think this sums it up well.
It really depends on the context in which it is said. Sometimes it means the other person wants out of the relationship, or at least to slow down. Sometimes it just means they want some "me time." There is not a person on the planet I could stand to be with 24/7.
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