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I doubt I will change my mind but I don't want to be made fun of if I do. I can't really know what I'll do until the time comes. But, exclusivity IS REQUIRED, as is an expectation that we believe that it will be a LTR. I cannot make the final decision without her input. It's a two person decision, what's best for us together.
Yep, like two-part epoxy--gotta have both ingredients to make it work.
I doubt I will change my mind but I don't want to be made fun of if I do. I can't really know what I'll do until the time comes. But, exclusivity IS REQUIRED, as is an expectation that we believe that it will be a LTR. I cannot make the final decision without her input. It's a two person decision, what's best for us together.
No one makes fun of you for learning something new through experience and then having a different view. People will pick you apart like wolverines if they think you're being intentionally dishonest. Don't worry about it. I have vacillated back and forth from monogamy to polyandry to celibacy to musical chairs. I would have just stayed in my arrested development stage after divorce had I not just thought-- what the hell, I'm the one living this life I'll find out what it is I want. (After my daughter moved out, that is. hee.)
Still working on it.
Thanks. My comment was my advance notice to preclude that. I've realized that one doesn't make such decisions in a vacuum (where I am now) but rather this is something a couple decides together. I have my unicorn idea but there are always game changers to consider.
But I'm not up for DTF. That won't change. No casual sex. Exclusivity required.
When I start thinking like that it's thinking with the wrong anatomic part. That's what I'm avoiding by not having casual sex. First decide the relationship. If that's a go then decide when the sex is right.
When I start thinking like that it's thinking with the wrong anatomic part. That's what I'm avoiding by not having casual sex. First decide the relationship. If that's a go then decide when the sex is right.
I don't have casual sex either, not generally. This past month I have a few times, but it was with women that I was pursuing an LTR with, so, I guess that's not casual. I suppose it depends on what your definition of casual sex is.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Oh man, it struck me as I was running. Demure. It's an odd word to use. Especially for a woman to use who will travel that far to spend with a guy for 5 days across country. She obviously isn't really demure in the classic definition. I think this all has to do with initiating sex. They did, and that's what he is calling not demure and being a turn off. How silly.
I don't have casual sex either, not generally. This past month I have a few times, but it was with women that I was pursuing an LTR with, so, I guess that's not casual. I suppose it depends on what your definition of casual sex is.
How does one pursue an STR with multiple women in the same month? Those weren't LTR's . You told us you'd decided none of them were LTR material. You were screening them for LTR candidacy. That's very different from pursuing an LTR.
Notice how your narrative gradually changes during the course of the discussion--the story line you tell yourself, and others, as people share their values, their m.o.'s, and the reasons for them, with you.
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