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Because once I discovered that these women were willing to have sex with me, I already ruled them out as potential partners. So I obliged them and that was that. Don't get me wrong, I had a really nice time with these ladies, but it just wasn't a good fit.
If you keep "dating" women who are not potential partners, you lose your credibility in complaining about these same women and their morals. At least you share your morals (or lack thereof) with them.
Never said I wasn't responsible. And yeah, it's fine that they offered sex so easily, I don't care, that's their choice. But that behavior wasn't consistent with how they portrayed themselves. One of them even told me she preferred to wait until marriage to have sex again. Anyway, it was a turn off to me. What's done is done.
So why didn't you ask her what changed her mind so fast? You could even have said, "Uh, ma'am, one of the things that attracted me to you was that you said you wanted to wait until marriage. Whatever are you doing in my bed?! Oh, my! *blush* "
Toto, it would appear that we're not in Kansas anymore.
If you keep "dating" women who are not potential partners, you lose your credibility in complaining about these same women and their morals. At least you share your morals (or lack thereof) with them.
I know. But I'm brand new to this. Give me a chance to get the kinks worked out. I'll figure it out.
I know. But I'm brand new to this. Give me a chance to get the kinks worked out. I'll figure it out.
It's not that hard to figure out. If they unexpectedly throw themselves at you, tell them you're looking for "the respectable type", and throw them out. Isn't that kinda what you want to say to them, anyway? You're certainly thinking that.
I know. But I'm brand new to this. Give me a chance to get the kinks worked out. I'll figure it out.
What the hell ...you're brand new to this? You've been married twice, and after that had long-term relationships ---that didn't involve dating?!? or what has given you the same experience / take away / attitude as an incel?
Aren't these fly-me-in ladies talking to you anymore? You didn't mention.
The sex must have been amazing, no? But never talked to you again after getting to know you on the phone, arranging a flight, having somebody come feed their dog...while they're gone taking time off of work, and now not a word? Hmmm. Mean ol easy wimmenz.
I know. But I'm brand new to this. Give me a chance to get the kinks worked out. I'll figure it out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
It's not that hard to figure out. If they unexpectedly throw themselves at you, tell them you're looking for "the respectable type", and throw them out. Isn't that kinda what you want to say to them, anyway? You're certainly thinking that.
It's not that hard to walk your talk.
Exactly.
“The kinks” to be worked out are not with online dating or “people today,” RJ. They are within YOU.
You have some things to work out with a therapist about your view of women. I also think it would help you to go ahead and accept the suggestions of past doctors that you are on the autism spectrum.
What the hell ...you're brand new to this? You've been married twice, and after that had long-term relationships ---that didn't involve dating?!? or what has given you the same experience / take away / attitude as an incel?
Aren't these fly-me-in ladies st
talking to you anymore? You didn't mention
the sex must have been amazing, no?never talked to you again after getting to know you on the phone, arranging a flight, having somebody come feed their dog...while they're gone taking time off of work, and now not a word? Hmmm. Mean ol easy wimmenz.
My first long term relationship was from the age of 24-30 with my first wife. Then there was 3 long term girlfriends from age 31-37. Then my second wife from 37 to 44. I'm 46 now. For the last two years I haven't dated anyone and only had sex a couple times with my ex-wife. I haven't ever been in the dating scene, never.
When I had sex recently, it was the first time in nearly a year. It was fine, but I realized how much I don't really like having sex with someone I don't love.
Because once I discovered that these women were willing to have sex with me, I already ruled them out as potential partners. So I obliged them and that was that. Don't get me wrong, I had a really nice time with these ladies, but it just wasn't a good fit.
Now, what makes you think a woman who does not have sex immediately, like you do, will want you as a partner? You're judging theses women in a negative light for the exact choices you are making. Do you not get that? Hypocritical comes to my mind. Are you testing them?
OP, you are systematically destroying any chance you have at partnering with the type of woman you claim to desire. It is difficult for me to believe you would think otherwise. Most women, in fact all women, I know would not ever consider you as a partner. Get ahold of yourself.
I know. But I'm brand new to this. Give me a chance to get the kinks worked out. I'll figure it out.
*Perks up* Kinks?
Oh... Oh. Nevermind. *sigh*
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ_
There's a fairly big difference between wanting sex and having sex. Pretty sure I don't need to lay it out for you.
Look, it wasn't just about the sex, it was about the fact that I felt misled. But you live and you learn. As I said in an earlier post, I've made adjustments to my vetting process in order to avoid future issues such as this one. I'm also not even certain that I'm going to continue online dating. There's a book club in town that I've been going to and there's a couple of nice women there. When I see them I realize how deficient the online platform is in terms of making basic assessments.
Right. So in your thinking, it is the self discipline to hold off on having sex (even though you want it) until commitment and feelings are on the table, that is evidence of a woman who has self esteem. Value.
??
So basically denying the self of what one wants...for no better reason than to maneuver for advantage and "prove" that access to her sexuality is a rare prize that only the worthy man may get?
I should clue you in to one thing... I sometimes wonder if the idea men get that a woman who gives them sex easy is probably going to cheat or gives it to any guy easy...is mixing in some projection on the part of the man. Like when I am single and free, I might sleep with a series of guys, because I'm free to do so. But once I make the choice to be committed, I can be unshakably faithful. It's not even difficult. Not even mildly challenging. I wonder sometimes, with conversations I've had with a few guys, it seems they feel drawn to have sex with beautiful women all the time. Mostly they stay faithful because engineering the opportunities takes effort or isn't there. But I get the impression that for many guys, if it were easy to get, they feel they'd excuse themselves for a lack of self control. And so, assuming that for women it's easy to get sex with almost any man (if she's decent looking) he then also assumes that unless she demonstrates (in her dealing with him) that she is a creature of exemplary control over her urges in general... The only alternative, is that she is giving it up left and right and cannot stop.
This just isn't true.
I have told lies in my lifetime; that does not mean I always lie. I rarely do in fact. It is a choice. I have had a number of partners but I can be happily and faithfully committed to one. It's easy; it's a choice. When I stop trying to notice men around me or think of whether they're sexually interesting, they stop becoming sexually interesting to me. I have to put energy into being available. Being "taken" is easy.
I just don't know if that's something I've ever successfully explained to a man before.
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