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This is what I've been saying! +1 If you want high-quality people, be a catch yourself. OP is reeling in his "type," people at about his level. Most of us do, somehow or other, even if subconsciously. We get what we put out except in a few either very lucky or very unlucky cases. When it's a repeat thing it's less likely to be luck.
Be someone awesome women want, OP, and you'll get awesome women. If not you're getting these women who feel very connected to you because you're similar.
I still have a lot of exploring to do to figure out how best to navigate the dating landscape.
You should explore why you don't see women as fully equal human creatures. Do you really not see how your posts reveal a true dislike and basic mistrust of women in general?
Your true goal, as stated here many threads ago, is to find a partner to service your needs. Be sure to reveal that to the women you come across in your search.
I don't know. I guess I'll find out as I'm not someone who hides my past from people. If a woman wants to know when my last sexual encounter was, I'll tell her.
Perhaps. I haven't yet decided how I'm going to continue to approach this whole dating thing from here forward. At this point I'm wondering if a satisfactory long term relationship is even possible. Time will tell. I haven't completely given up yet though. I still have a lot of exploring to do to figure out how best to navigate the dating landscape. My ultimate goal remains the same though; to find a viable long term partner to share life with.
RJ, thank you for the honest answer. I say this with all sincerity, really.
Look, I think you first might consider spending some time alone with RJ to contemplate what it IS exactly that you want in a LTR partner. You're all over the place and I think that it leading you to a destination of utter confusion. Clearly, based on your posts in this thread, you are not getting your unique needs met. I think that causes one to feel a degree of frustration and anxiety-provoking thoughts that things will never change. YOU are in complete control of changing what it is that is not working in your life; you always will be.
My advice, stop sleeping with any willing woman because, though "it may feel good," I think it may well be having an impact on how you view women. Most women don't do that, and most guys do not either.
Stop what's not working and focus on figuring out what will to bring you where you want to be. Focus.
I recently told a younger family member that, were I him, I would spend my time figuring out how to get out of a bad situation rather than spend my time to stay in it.
I don't know. I guess I'll find out as I'm not someone who hides my past from people. If a woman wants to know when my last sexual encounter was, I'll tell her.
Perhaps. I haven't yet decided how I'm going to continue to approach this whole dating thing from here forward. At this point I'm wondering if a satisfactory long term relationship is even possible. Time will tell. I haven't completely given up yet though. I still have a lot of exploring to do to figure out how best to navigate the dating landscape. My ultimate goal remains the same though; to find a viable long term partner to share life with.
You could try dating people in your vicinity, rather than flying them in and putting them up for the night. Just a thought. Or does that not work for you, either? I'm still trying to get my mind around this air-mail dating thing. I mean, if you offered to put them up for the night, some would naturally conclude there was a motive for that. Why not put them up in a hotel nearby? I'm still not getting the concept, quite. Nor the need for it.
People use rules because they need ways to ensure self-discipline. The only thing that might not be clear is a goal for using a rule. Sometimes the rules only benefit one side. In that case, if you are using them and it doesn't benefit you (like the blogger of this website), you are being a doormat.
Here's an example from the website:
Quote:
If you texted first last time, you have to wait for him to text you first this time.
Since the author of the blog didn't state her goals for using these rules, I will infer them. The goal here is to avoid looking desperate so both sides benefit from this rule. My goal for using this same rule is different. If a person is interested in me, they need to make an effort to reach out to me. I also like it when I can end a relationship early on as simple as not returning a text, but that is to my benefit so that rule has not always worked out. I've had to be direct with one person who thought I was just being shy and needed *help* coming out of my shell.
Some rules are to the benefit of those who want a quick hook up like this one:
Quote:
You can’t assume anything is more than casual, even if you’re having sex. But you can’t talk about it either.
If you are having sex, you can assume a lot of things and you should set a direction for your life. My advice here is to not participate in this rule. It benefits only one side.
Here's another rule. This one is full of insecurities and shows the blogger has poor relationship skills, in other words, she is selfish.
Quote:
If you’re wondering where a relationship is going and you decide to bring it up, every word you say has to be carefully chosen so as to seem okay with any response you’re given, even if you’re not.
You don't have to be careful; you just need to learn how relationships work. A better rule would be: I will think about what I want for myself, what I want for the other person (that doesn't involve me in the picture), and what I want for the relationship. Then I will share this. If the other person doesn't agree, no way do I want a relationship with that person. That part where she writes "even if your not" irks me.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
You should explore why you don't see women as fully equal human creatures. Do you really not see how your posts reveal a true dislike and basic mistrust of women in general?
Your true goal, as stated here many threads ago, is to find a partner to service your needs. Be sure to reveal that to the women you come across in your search.
This.
Plus, he seems to thing a woman is less of a quality person or less of a worthy person if she likes sex and has sex. Who the heck cares if they've slept with 1, 5, or 55 people. Good grief. It has NOTHING to do with their being a quality person or not.
Now, a person's views on other's sexuality can reveal a lot about their quality.
For me, a major way to avoid the shallow, insecure, superficial types is to NOT do online dating. Meet people the old fashioned way, through activities you enjoy. It could be a hobby, avocation, charity work, sports, etc.
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