'I gave up': A look at how expensive dating is across U.S. states (relations, pictures)

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by ThisTown123

Well, a person's opinion on what constitutes as "crappy" is subjective. I've had some pretty good meals at Ruby Tuesday. You're in the minority.

I do draw the line at fast food places or food courts. Don't want to be THAT guy. lol Apparently, you don't care for the person nor the company you are with.

I care a lot about the person and the company, which is why I would not subject them to places like that.
I don't know a single person who says they've enjoyed dining at Ruby Tuesday, or any of its ilk. Probably why so many of the Ruby Tuesday's are closing.


You can spend less and have a great Vietnamese dinner. A date is an opportunity to make an impression about who you are and what you're about, so selecting location matters a lot.

[ThisTown123]

Originally Posted by timberline742

You can spend less and have a great Vietnamese dinner. A date is an opportunity to make an impression about who you are and what you're about, so selecting location matters a lot.

Just had an afterthought. How about this, would it be best if he just asked you FIRST where you'd like to eat? If he asked you for a recommendation? Would that win him brownie points with you? As opposed to him making the decision for you?

So at least he's thinking of you before picking the restrant?

[Sonic_Spork]

Ruby Tuesday USED to have this chicken sandwich with Havarti and bacon on a pretzel bun, which was amazeballs. Then they took it off the menu and even stopped stocking the good cheese, so I stopped dating...I mean eating at...Ruby Tuesday out of sheer pique. Cheap bastards!

One thing I'm picking up on here (correct me if I am wrong, calipoppy?) is that calipoppy tends to date men who already know her a bit from somewhere. She does not do online dating. That is important to this conversation, because if a guy has already spent a bit of time around you, he does have an idea of whether he's enthusiastic to date you or not, and if you've already met him, you've got an idea about him, too. Stepping up your game in that situation makes a lot more sense.

But with online dating, which is insanely popular these days, people are meeting up for a first time and they have never met in person. You can say anything in a profile, you can post your very best photos...but how a person comes across face-to-face that first time, can be a whole different animal. You might think you've got a good prospect and you've had great conversations in messages/texts...and then meet them and run head-first into dealbreaker city. I had at least one guy I went on a first date with, and every moment of it was "OMG get me out of here" awkward. I WISH we had been at a coffee place, but no, we were at a restaurant. I had to muddle through and I wasn't thrilled. It would have been a lot nicer if I could have noped out after 20 minutes. A coffee date gives you more freedom to do that.

And if I had dressed up all nice and made myself up for that loser? Or if I'd let him buy me an expensive dinner when I knew in the first few minutes this was not gonna work and there would be no second date? Either of those things would have just made it that much worse.

The basic difference of whether you are meeting for the first time, sight unseen basically, or not, is pretty important.

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by ThisTown123

Just had an afterthought. How about this, would it be best if he just asked you FIRST where you'd like to eat? If he asked you for a recommendation? Would that win him brownie points with you? As opposed to him making the decision for you?

So at least he's thinking of you before picking the restrant?

Since I'm a guy who dates women, it probably wouldn't be a "he" asking me for a recommendation. You know this, and this is just a childish way to try to take a dig. Good one.

And since I've dated and are friends with more than a few women, I know the way that is generally preferred. Ask about dietary restrictions (gluten, vegan, etc). Location preferences. Then make a location suggestion and have a back up if they're not into it. Show you put some thought into it (aka not a mass chain restaurant) and you have a little bit of class.

The women I know like the guy to take the lead, while being flexible and understanding. They don't want a dude to say "what would you like to do?", especially early on. It's a huge turnoff.

It isn't rocket science. I'm not going to be asking someone out without a notion of what I want to suggest as an activity. That's an adolescent dating style.

[Sonic_Spork]

Originally Posted by timberline742

Since I'm a guy who dates women, it probably wouldn't be a "he" asking me for a recommendation. You know this, and this is just a childish way to try to take a dig. Good one.

And since I've dated and are friends with more than a few women, I know the way that is generally preferred. Ask about dietary restrictions (gluten, vegan, etc). Location preferences. Then make a location suggestion and have a back up if they're not into it. Show you put some thought into it (aka not a mass chain restaurant) and you have a little bit of class.

The women I know like the guy to take the lead, while being flexible and understanding. They don't want a dude to say "what would you like to do?", especially early on. It's a huge turnoff.

It isn't rocket science. I'm not going to be asking someone out without a notion of what I want to suggest as an activity. That's an adolescent dating style.

Woman perspective on this:

I throw a TON of information out there in conversations and profiles. Ya'll know I write a lot anyways. By the point of a first date, if a man has paid any attention, he would know a lot about my preferences. There are many hints on what kind of activities I'd find interesting. And what I wouldn't. I don't drink alcohol, never have, and that was always in my profile. I do expect a man I'm about to go on a date with, to have noticed something like that, so trying to take me somewhere and booze me up...just shows he didn't bother to pay any attention at all. Which also gives me the impression that he'd be self centered and clueless about my needs, and not care about my feelings, if I ended up in a relationship with that man.

I'm not expecting mind reading. I'm not expecting a man to spend money on me. I am expecting him to be capable of listening. For some men, that's way more challenging than just cracking open the wallet and throwing money at a woman. Oh well.

But the old "where to eat" thing, definitely keeps being a factor well into a relationship anyhow. People figure it out. My boyfriend will ask me where I want to eat, I'll give him a few places that sound good to me, and he picks one of them. That tends to work.

[RbccL]

Originally Posted by timberline742

They don't want a dude to say "what would you like to do?", especially early on. It's a huge turnoff.

It isn't rocket science. I'm not going to be asking someone out without a notion of what I want to suggest as an activity. That's an adolescent dating style.

Grrrrr so tired of that! I hate wishy washy, and I end up cutting to the chase after a day of messaging, by asking to get together in the first place, myself.

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork

Woman perspective on this:

I throw a TON of information out there in conversations and profiles. Ya'll know I write a lot anyways. By the point of a first date, if a man has paid any attention, he would know a lot about my preferences. There are many hints on what kind of activities I'd find interesting. And what I wouldn't. I don't drink alcohol, never have, and that was always in my profile. I do expect a man I'm about to go on a date with, to have noticed something like that, so trying to take me somewhere and booze me up...just shows he didn't bother to pay any attention at all. Which also gives me the impression that he'd be self centered and clueless about my needs, and not care about my feelings, if I ended up in a relationship with that man.

I'm not expecting mind reading. I'm not expecting a man to spend money on me. I am expecting him to be capable of listening. For some men, that's way more challenging than just cracking open the wallet and throwing money at a woman. Oh well.

But the old "where to eat" thing, definitely keeps being a factor well into a relationship anyhow. People figure it out. My boyfriend will ask me where I want to eat, I'll give him a few places that sound good to me, and he picks one of them. That tends to work.

Absolutely. Hopefully people are talking, and if they're paying attention, even if they're not talking directly about it, they should be picking up on things. The person isn't ordering any meat, is avoiding gluten, doesn't drink, etc This should be all taken into account when making a suggestion, and confirmed with them "I notice you don't seem to eat meat, are you vegan? vegetarian? pescatarian... or just coincidence?" and have some options in mind.


Noticing these things goes a long way with people. They were paying attention to YOU.


Later on in well established relationships, the dynamics often ease and change.

Originally Posted by RbccL

Grrrrr so tired of that! I hate wishy washy, and I end up cutting to the chase after a day of messaging, by asking to get together in the first place, myself.

Seriously. It's not hard-> Great, I'm glad you agreed to get a drink. What part of town is convenient for you? Ok, great. Are you more a wine, cocktail, or beer person? Excellent. Well, _______ is really nice. Or, if you aren't into there, I've heard nice things about ____, would you like to check that out?


Simple as can be.

[ThisTown123]

Originally Posted by timberline742

The women I know like the guy to take the lead, while being flexible and understanding. They don't want a dude to say "what would you like to do?", especially early on. It's a huge turnoff.

It isn't rocket science. I'm not going to be asking someone out without a notion of what I want to suggest as an activity. That's an adolescent dating style.

You see, I asked this question as well, on purpose, because I had a feeling that either way that it's done...the guy is damned if he does, damned if he doesn't.

1. Wants to do a Ruby Tuesday. OH, deal breaker what a looooooser! *L" shaped-finger on her forhead
2. Is nice to enough to be thoughtful of the woman to ask what she would want. Again "loooser, dude is wishy-washy, can't make a decision...has to rely on the woman to make it.

I get a kick out of how people judge or read into another man's decision on what he does on a date

No wonder there are so many short-lived relationships and divorces. Because these people are PART of the problem. People always nit-picking the other person apart, judging the person just looking ****-eyed.

Sonic Spark, I wasn't talking about this in the context of ONLINE dating. Just dating in general. So let's just think a guy knows nothing of her preferences if he met her say...at a Meetup group or just a social gathering.

People figure it out. My boyfriend will ask me where I want to eat, I'll give him a few places that sound good to me, and he picks one of them. That tends to work.

Isn't this what I just suggested in #2?

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by ThisTown123

You see, I asked this question as well, on purpose, because I had a feeling that either way that it's done...the guy is damned if he does, damned if he doesn't.

1. Wants to do a Ruby Tuesday. OH, deal breaker what a looooooser! *L" shaped-finger on her forhead
2. Is nice to enough to be thoughtful of the woman to ask what she would want. Again "loooser, dude is wishy-washy, can't make a decision...has to rely on the woman to make it.

I get a kick out of how people judge or read into another man's decision on what he does on a date

No wonder there are so many short-lived relationships and divorces. Because these people are PART of the problem.

The guy isn't damned at all, unless he doesn't have a freaking clue.

Originally Posted by ThisTown123

Sonic Spark, I wasn't talking about this in the context of ONLINE dating. Just dating in general. So let's just think a guy knows nothing of her preferences if he met her say...at a Meetup group or just a social gathering.

I explained how to do it. It is really freaking simple.

[The Dissenter]

IMO save the chains for when you are established in a relationship. If you scope out a locally owned joint and she enjoys it you’ll gain major points in her book.