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Well what if a guy is trying to keep expenses minimal so he doesn't have to depend on a job, or wants to invest in something like a house or retirement?
Then he doesn’t sound financially stable. You make it sound as if it’s impossible to have a house and retirement fund while also being able to afford more than coffee dates. It’s not!
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rocko20
Bars and clubs are horrible places to look for dates. Loud music where you can't even hear the person, drunk people, dark environment where you can't even see the person, expensive drinks, rude bouncers, crowded sweaty people dancing, cover charge, belligerent people, obnoxious people. .
You and I go to very different places. Not all places are like this at all.
Then he doesn’t sound financially stable. You make it sound as if it’s impossible to have a house and retirement fund while also being able to afford more than coffee dates. It’s not!
Yes, I stated time and money. A coffee date is quick and cheap. I would never accept that for a first date. The suggestion of a quick and cheap first date means that they are not investing (time and money) into you.
If they don't even know you, why should they invest money into you? The coffee date is for getting to know someone you've either met on OLD, or have been set up with, or know superficially from somewhere, and want to scope out, to see if there's compatibility. If you already know someone well, and the two have grown to really like each other, having romantic feelings for each other, dinner for a first date makes more sense.
Nobody's going to "invest" in a stranger, though. That makes no sense.Neither party knows at that point, if a sustained conversation is even possible, let alone common interests and some level of compatibility.
Look I'm all for knowing your worth and having self confidence, but expecting a person you don't know to drop hella cash and go out of their way to impress you on a first date is not realistic or fair.
Unless you're doing it in return. I get being traditional, I get being old fashioned, but there is a thin line between that and just being entitled. I'm just saying
Ruth (like always) said it best:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
If they don't even know you, why should they invest money into you? The coffee date is for getting to know someone you've either met on OLD, or have been set up with, or know superficially from somewhere, and want to scope out, to see if there's compatibility. If you already know someone well, and the two have grown to really like each other, having romantic feelings for each other, dinner for a first date makes more sense.
Nobody's going to "invest" in a stranger, though. That makes no sense.Neither party knows at that point, if a sustained conversation is even possible, let alone common interests and some level of compatibility.
I don't know about anyone else but it would be extremely awkward if I go to a nice dinner at a five star with a guy I don't know for a first date. I can imagine how cringe and painful it would be if it turns out there is NO chemistry. It's the quickest way to go home angry if you just spent so much on a wasted attempt.
So is Asian food. $100+ for dinner and a movie? Where is this, NYC? A good dinner and a movie for two can be had for half that. OK, maybe a little more, counting the tip, which in theory, she should offer to pay.
I'm in NYC and a dinner for two usually costs around $50; usually less than that depending on where you go
I'm in NYC and a dinner for two usually costs around $50; usually less than that depending on where you go
Does that include two drinks, an appetizer, two entrees, and a dessert? Including tax and tip? I thought going to a chain restaurant for two is $50 in NYC. And that's ordering something mid-tier range.
If they don't even know you, why should they invest money into you? The coffee date is for getting to know someone you've either met on OLD, or have been set up with, or know superficially from somewhere, and want to scope out, to see if there's compatibility. If you already know someone well, and the two have grown to really like each other, having romantic feelings for each other, dinner for a first date makes more sense.
Nobody's going to "invest" in a stranger, though. That makes no sense.Neither party knows at that point, if a sustained conversation is even possible, let alone common interests and some level of compatibility.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
Look I'm all for knowing your worth and having self confidence, but expecting a person you don't know to drop hella cash and go out of their way to impress you on a first date is not realistic or fair.
Unless you're doing it in return. I get being traditional, I get being old fashioned, but there is a thin line between that and just being entitled. I'm just saying
Ruth (like always) said it best:
I don't know about anyone else but it would be extremely awkward if I go to a nice dinner at a five star with a guy I don't know for a first date. I can imagine how cringe and painful it would be if it turns out there is NO chemistry. It's the quickest way to go home angry if you just spent so much on a wasted attempt.
I have already previously stated numerous times that I do not do online dating. I am not dating complete strangers.
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