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Why would he do that when his girlfriend has sex with him most of the time he wants to, and she makes sure the dude enjoys it?
you are really asking this?
Because it is the adrenaline and excitement of the forbidden fruit, it is illegal, it is dangerous. Or he does stuff with a stranger he would never do with a gf. Or gf doesn't want to do stuff outside the norm.
Sounds like my current boyfriend. I labeled him as a narcissist. Abusive and all. Thought it was mostly because of the drugs but he is clean now but i know the sex addiction doesn't just poof and go away... not as horny as before but he has been keeping a stack of cash on him in a bag for a couple months now. & has tried guilting me into buying groceries because he barely has money in his account... bull****!!! His Google maps timeline showed him going to random hotels or apartments, sometimes houses when he knew i was sleeping at home. So sick. Still won't admit it to this day. I hate myself for being hopeful and staying for the truth. I love him but its this trauma bond we have.
He sounds lovely. Hope dies last. I hope you use protection.
Because it is the adrenaline and excitement of the forbidden fruit, it is illegal, it is dangerous. Or he does stuff with a stranger he would never do with a gf. Or gf doesn't want to do stuff outside the norm.
And that's one of the reasons why I feel like women have way too much to lose by entering a committed relationship, and more, as they can be the sexiest, hottest, highest sex-drive oriented women in the world, and the boyfriend will still cheat if the opportunity is there, and god help the women who are married to successful athletes.
Ok so long story but I’m gonna be honest on both sides.
I have been dating a guy for 10months now. We mesh well and day to day life is great.
But
About a month into our relationship he logged his GMail account into my phone and forgot to log out. I realized this after I had looked up something I wasn’t ready to share. I went to delete the history and found several search histories for escorts on Craigslist and “male seeking trans-woman” kinda stuff. Let me be clear. I don’t care if he’s into trans-women. I have my own sexual proclivities that people could judge me on. It was the looking for escorts in his area. Originally of course he denied it, “account got hacked”, then “everyone has their dirty little secrets.” Finally after 2 days I was able to get a straight answer.
I think. He said it was an addiction he’s had for years and he dosnt contact anyone he “just reads the stories.” I took him at his word that he did not actually contact anyone, but laid down that that’s a NO. Porn, cool. This, NO
And another disclosure, he has been with a prostitute once before a year before we got together. He said it was a bad experience and he wouldn’t do it again. We had this talk and moved forward (I really had no problem with this, everyone has a history)
Since then, I’d brought up the subject looking for reassurance that he is not doing anything. He would try to change the conversation because “he’s not proud of himself and he dosnt like to bring it up. Also, the first night he got caught, he changed his password and the fact was never brought up again.
I havnt really recovered. I was cheated on in my previous relationship and the extra blow to my ego made things get worse and worse for me. Also he never complimented me until I pointed it out. He shows love in other ways physically (hugs, kisses, other intimacy, and great sex) but he dosnt make me feel good about myself. I’ll admit it could just be me because in my head I’m now trying to compete with escorts and fantasy. So I have lost all of my confidence.
Fast forward, 10months in. I’ve given in to my depression. We havnt had sex in a week. I got up in the middle of the night to go lay on the couch for some space. Then came back into the room to tell him I needed some space (we recently moved in together). We fought about how he said he has been trying to make things right but he dosnt know what to do. And I’m not feeling any better in this relationship about myself and this problem. I gave up and said I don’t care what he does and I won’t try to check his stuff again (not that I had since the first discretion, I’m not a babysitter, and he didn’t hide where he was Ever). The next few days he said he’d keep trying and was reassuring me that he hadn’t been to thoes sites since he initially got caught.
Yesterday while using his phone (with permission, but yeah I snooped) I found that night I said I wouldn’t check his phone anymore, he had looked up an escort website (to be fair it wasn’t in our area, like last time).
I confronted him and he said again that he is just looking at the ads. While we were fighting he said “I thought you were gonna break up with me” as his reason for looking at the ads again.
Another piece of info that’s bugging me. I had been laying in bed from a night of crying. He excused himself to the bathroom, I later found out he was looking at porn, again no issue) but then he came and was trying to get me in the mood. Not a lot, but notibly more forcefully than normal. He said he had been worked up for days (since he looked up the ads). I was obviously not in the mood for sex. He later apologized for trying to force it.
He says he loves me and wants to fix our relationship. I genuinely believes that he has thoes feelings. But idk if he loves me in the healthy way, where you want to suppprt and put your partner above all. Or he wants me in his life because he loves me selfishly..if that makes sense.
So...Help
Guy’s opinion-Does this sound like an addiction or is it BS?
If it is, is he untrustworthy and could keep on lying, or just not ready to deal with/fully admit and deal with a problem?
We have a lot of happiness we share together, but this is obviously a big problem. Is this relationship worth sparing?
Hi
I was just wondering how this has ended? I have found the same and believe that my bf has an addictive personality, which doesn’t excuse his behaviour. I dumped him as if you love someone you wouldn’t hurt them like that, also it’s very sick and twisted for men to look this up as they have no awareness of these girls backgrounds or the fact they are in the sex trafficking industry possibly against their will. This needs pointed out to all these selfish men that think with their pants and hurt good loving woman. Would love to hear how you go on? I hope you left him!!
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