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Yes.
And it takes courage and confidence to do so. Doing it all on a computer and finding every reason under the sun not to do it in any real world situation takes zero. Wonder how many men throw the "creepy" card or use metoo as an excuse because they don't have the gonads to do a real life approach.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
I am puzzled at so many of these threads that seem to indicate otherwise. Do these people not go out and live and see people socialize?
I am too. If you took their devices away and put them in a room full of strangers, they'd be social retards. Social skills take work and there's no shortcut.
I think maybe I already told this story, probably I did, but at a recent event at the club I was sitting with my bf and overheard a new guy say to a young woman, "You are a very attractive woman" and then after she nervously thanked him, he said, "Maybe you can't tell, but I don't approach women like this very often." I heard the dreaded "approach" word and it caught my attention instantly. I was thinking, "Is that one of our CD-R guys??" He then practically shouted at her, "HEY! Do I look like a flag waving in the wind?" and weirdly and awkwardly flung one arm up over his head/shoulder in the wrong direction (I guess he's double jointed or something?) and started flailing both arms off to his left in a spastic and unnerving manner. He kept this up for a good 30+ seconds. First she nervously laughed, then she said "Oh my god" then she looked at me and said, "Are you seeing this?" Then she fled the room.
Don't do that.
It would not have impressed your Grandma. It won't impress anyone now.
This is the kind of weird ish I think of when I hear guys here use the word, "APPROACH." It's so weird and it reeks of some desperate and pathetic game attempt on the part of someone who has little or no social skills, but has lots of statistics and theories about dating.
But interestingly though, I watched a film with my boyfriend over the weekend, and I gotta give it to the guy, the "game" stuff that was talked in this film is pretty spot on. The movie was "The Tao of Steve." The guy says that the three rules are:
1. Be desireless. Let go of your desire.
(He even says, "Women can smell an agenda." This, I believe, is true.)
2. Be excellent. Do something excellent in her presence.
(Don't see how that's bad advice!)
3. Retreat. We chase that which retreats from us.
(At a minimum, not seeming too thirsty and clingy too soon, would be good, I'd think.)
So with all of that in mind, if you can read a person well enough to know when they're sending "back off and leave me alone" signals and respect those if they appear...you totally should go through life just striking up little conversations whenever you can. Not necessarily to get something you want from people ("approach" lol!) but just to make yourself more relaxed and natural talking to people, to get new and different perspectives on life in a face-to-face way, maybe to brighten your own day or another person's. Even if this does not get you a relationship, it's still a good thing to do.
I think maybe I already told this story, probably I did, but at a recent event at the club I was sitting with my bf and overheard a new guy say to a young woman, "You are a very attractive woman" and then after she nervously thanked him, he said, "Maybe you can't tell, but I don't approach women like this very often." I heard the dreaded "approach" word and it caught my attention instantly. I was thinking, "Is that one of our CD-R guys??" He then practically shouted at her, "HEY! Do I look like a flag waving in the wind?" and weirdly and awkwardly flung one arm up over his head/shoulder in the wrong direction (I guess he's double jointed or something?) and started flailing both arms off to his left in a spastic and unnerving manner. He kept this up for a good 30+ seconds. First she nervously laughed, then she said "Oh my god" then she looked at me and said, "Are you seeing this?" Then she fled the room.
I think maybe I already told this story, probably I did, but at a recent event at the club I was sitting with my bf and overheard a new guy say to a young woman, "You are a very attractive woman" and then after she nervously thanked him, he said, "Maybe you can't tell, but I don't approach women like this very often." I heard the dreaded "approach" word and it caught my attention instantly. I was thinking, "Is that one of our CD-R guys??" He then practically shouted at her, "HEY! Do I look like a flag waving in the wind?" and weirdly and awkwardly flung one arm up over his head/shoulder in the wrong direction (I guess he's double jointed or something?) and started flailing both arms off to his left in a spastic and unnerving manner. He kept this up for a good 30+ seconds. First she nervously laughed, then she said "Oh my god" then she looked at me and said, "Are you seeing this?" Then she fled the room.
Don't do that.
It would not have impressed your Grandma. It won't impress anyone now.
This is the kind of weird ish I think of when I hear guys here use the word, "APPROACH." It's so weird and it reeks of some desperate and pathetic game attempt on the part of someone who has little or no social skills, but has lots of statistics and theories about dating.
But interestingly though, I watched a film with my boyfriend over the weekend, and I gotta give it to the guy, the "game" stuff that was talked in this film is pretty spot on. The movie was "The Tao of Steve." The guy says that the three rules are:
1. Be desireless. Let go of your desire.
(He even says, "Women can smell an agenda." This, I believe, is true.)
2. Be excellent. Do something excellent in her presence.
(Don't see how that's bad advice!)
3. Retreat. We chase that which retreats from us.
(At a minimum, not seeming too thirsty and clingy too soon, would be good, I'd think.)
So with all of that in mind, if you can read a person well enough to know when they're sending "back off and leave me alone" signals and respect those if they appear...you totally should go through life just striking up little conversations whenever you can. Not necessarily to get something you want from people ("approach" lol!) but just to make yourself more relaxed and natural talking to people, to get new and different perspectives on life in a face-to-face way, maybe to brighten your own day or another person's. Even if this does not get you a relationship, it's still a good thing to do.
Poor guy. He just doesn't know the basics of interacting.
Rule #1 in talking to people: Socialize 101
Don't "impress".
I like rules 1 and 3 of the Tao of Steve
As far as 2, the excellent thing would be to TALK TO THE PERSON
Poor guy. He just doesn't know the basics of interacting.
Rule #1 in talking to people: Socialize 101
Don't "impress".
I like rules 1 and 3 of the Tao of Steve
As far as 2, the excellent thing would be to TALK TO THE PERSON
I know, I was actually thinking, "poor guy, he did a trick and everything." At the same time as wanting to facepalm at how...uncomfortable...the whole thing was, to witness.
I guess if I had to give men advice on that, if you know what you believe is a "really cool trick" that always impresses your guy friends and makes them laugh, especially when you were kids on the schoolyard, or when you're hanging out stoned or drunk....probably do NOT do that thing to try and impress a woman.
Especially if it is in some fashion freaky and anatomical.
No failing about. Do not light a fart. Do not belch the alphabet. Please.
Now if you know a cool magic trick with cards or a coin, or if you can fold a napkin into a flower or a spaceship or something, that's a bit different. Demonstrating a neat skill you developed makes you interesting.
I know, I was actually thinking, "poor guy, he did a trick and everything." At the same time as wanting to facepalm at how...uncomfortable...the whole thing was, to witness.
I guess if I had to give men advice on that, if you know what you believe is a "really cool trick" that always impresses your guy friends and makes them laugh, especially when you were kids on the schoolyard, or when you're hanging out stoned or drunk....probably do NOT do that thing to try and impress a woman.
Especially if it is in some fashion freaky and anatomical.
No failing about. Do not light a fart. Do not belch the alphabet. Please.
Now if you know a cool magic trick with cards or a coin, or if you can fold a napkin into a flower or a spaceship or something, that's a bit different. Demonstrating a neat skill you developed makes you interesting.
I follow a certain rule when talking to women and people in general.
Save the tricks for a later time. That's one of the rules I follow in social interactions.
3 or 4 times a year, in public, ladies manage to approach me.
I will give some of the most memorable events:
Ladies sometimes will approach me when I am in Home Depot looking at lumber or plumbing parts. They will ask me questions as if I worked there [I do not have a job], it is like they 'want' a man to mansplain to them how something works.
One time I was sitting in the waiting room at a medical clinic, waiting for a phlebotomist to call me to go in their backroom to take a blood sample. This lady sat next to me and she asked permission to touch my beard. That blew me away. She sat in my lap and played with my beard, she was there with a friend. The friend kept trying to make excuses for her behavior, but I thought it was cute.
One time we had reservations at a restaurant, it was going to be a dinner for my son and his wife. I was the first to arrive. So as I was waiting for my Dw to show up, I went inside to check on our reservations. The hostess nestled up to me and asked to touch my beard. She started running her hands through my beard, and she was asking me all about conditioners and hair oils. As she was playing with my beard, I squeezed her buns and she was totally into it.
Another time, I flew out to California for a funeral. In my rented car, I had to get gas, when I went inside to pay the cashier, she said she wanted to cook me dinner if I would go home with her.
I was a vendor in a local Farmer's Market. I dropped that market because one of my customers only wanted to play with my beard. I think it was frightening away other potential customers.
3 or 4 times a year, in public, ladies manage to approach me.
I will give some of the most memorable events:
Ladies sometimes will approach me when I am in Home Depot looking at lumber or plumbing parts. They will ask me questions as if I worked there [I do not have a job], it is like they 'want' a man to mansplain to them how something works.
One time I was sitting in the waiting room at a medical clinic, waiting for a phlebotomist to call me to go in their backroom to take a blood sample. This lady sat next to me and she asked permission to touch my beard. That blew me away. She sat in my lap and played with my beard, she was there with a friend. The friend kept trying to make excuses for her behavior, but I thought it was cute.
One time we had reservations at a restaurant, it was going to be a dinner for my son and his wife. I was the first to arrive. So as I was waiting for my Dw to show up, I went inside to check on our reservations. The hostess nestled up to me and asked to touch my beard. She started running her hands through my beard, and she was asking me all about conditioners and hair oils. As she was playing with my beard, I squeezed her buns and she was totally into it.
Another time, I flew out to California for a funeral. In my rented car, I had to get gas, when I went inside to pay the cashier, she said she wanted to cook me dinner if I would go home with her.
I was a vendor in a local Farmer's Market. I dropped that market because one of my customers only wanted to play with my beard. I think it was frightening away other potential customers.
Feels good don't it? HAHAH. I LOVE being told stuff like "if you weren't xxx I would soooo xxx" freaking HOTT!
Feels good don't it? HAHAH. I LOVE being told stuff like "if you weren't xxx I would soooo xxx" freaking HOTT!
Flattering maybe.... Hott? No so much. Woman old enough to be an old mother or maybe young grandma did something like that once (compliment not the lap and beard deal). I was polite and returned a smiled but feverish? Naaah.
3 or 4 times a year, in public, ladies manage to approach me.
I will give some of the most memorable events:
Ladies sometimes will approach me when I am in Home Depot looking at lumber or plumbing parts. They will ask me questions as if I worked there [I do not have a job], it is like they 'want' a man to mansplain to them how something works.
One time I was sitting in the waiting room at a medical clinic, waiting for a phlebotomist to call me to go in their backroom to take a blood sample. This lady sat next to me and she asked permission to touch my beard. That blew me away. She sat in my lap and played with my beard, she was there with a friend. The friend kept trying to make excuses for her behavior, but I thought it was cute.
One time we had reservations at a restaurant, it was going to be a dinner for my son and his wife. I was the first to arrive. So as I was waiting for my Dw to show up, I went inside to check on our reservations. The hostess nestled up to me and asked to touch my beard. She started running her hands through my beard, and she was asking me all about conditioners and hair oils. As she was playing with my beard, I squeezed her buns and she was totally into it.
Another time, I flew out to California for a funeral. In my rented car, I had to get gas, when I went inside to pay the cashier, she said she wanted to cook me dinner if I would go home with her.
I was a vendor in a local Farmer's Market. I dropped that market because one of my customers only wanted to play with my beard. I think it was frightening away other potential customers.
Wow, you must have a really nice looking beard. I think it's awesome.
For me, it's more like 3-4 times a month (up from once a month).
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