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You forgot get in shape, but I guess this falls under the "right hoops" eh?
I seriously like all this talk about height as if it is the only factor...
And how much taller does the OP have to get? He's 6'1". Taller than the magic 6'0"
Tell us!!! How tall do we have to be? 7ft? 8Ft? 9ft?
Tell me. So I can cancel my date and tell her that I am too short.
6'-4" is probably about right, but I wasn't trying to hit a sore spot for anyone.
I used height as a stand in for something you have no control over. Basically "jump through hoops or change something about yourself that you cannot change". You height is your height, your skin tone/hair color/eye color is what it is, your nose is your nose. Those dumbo ears aren't getting any smaller. Height may be the least changeable thing about someone nowadays so it makes the best example. That and resting B face which can only be changed from within, but that's more for women.
6'-4" is probably about right, but I wasn't trying to hit a sore spot for anyone.
I used height as a stand in for something you have no control over. Basically "jump through hoops or change something about yourself that you cannot change". You height is your height, your skin tone/hair color/eye color is what it is, your nose is your nose. Those dumbo ears aren't getting any smaller. Height may be the least changeable thing about someone nowadays so it makes the best example. That and resting B face which can only be changed from within, but that's more for women.
6'4"?
Sorry Katrina, I have to call it off because I'm not 6'4".
Yeah, the uncontrollable factors. I think if you have everything together and no luck in love, then your best bet would be to relocate. It's made a difference for me...
No, I'm not an incel because I can get laid whenever I want via escorts. I'd like to learn how to attract women "the normal way" as well, but I feel that it's a compromise to my principles and it means being something that I'm not, so that's my dilemma. And I also feel that if they can't like me for who I really am, why should I change so they'll like "me" more, as I'm not me then.
IMO, there's no such thing as an incel, if you really want to get laid, there are ways you can get laid. I understand that dating is a numbers game and you're going to get rejected more often than not, but I've never had a genuine connection with a girl in my life.
It's not that you change yourself, but you will go through changes as you get older. I would know. I am nowhere near the same person I was 13 years ago. Give it time and learn as much as you can about the dating world...
No, I'm not an incel because I can get laid whenever I want via escorts. I'd like to learn how to attract women "the normal way" as well, but I feel that it's a compromise to my principles and it means being something that I'm not, so that's my dilemma. And I also feel that if they can't like me for who I really am, why should I change so they'll like "me" more, as I'm not me then.
Are you talking about fundamental changes to your identity, or do you mean that you have a hard time with polite social interactions and you don't want to learn how to better adapt socially?
Have you tried speaking with a therapist about your feelings about being socially awkward? They may be able to give you some valuable insights, which could help you a lot in your feelings about yourself and your resulting interactions with others. Just give it a try.
Because they don't like me when I act "normal". I feel like I have to put on a front in order to get them to even acknowledge me, let alone talk to me. If I act normal they don't notice me or pay any attention.
I'd say that what's wrong with me is I'm uncomfortable in social situations because I never know what to say or how to make what I want to happen happen. There's no tested, repeatable way to achieve the same ends like there is in other aspects of life, like baking a cake for example, and I don't understand it. People never seem to like what I have to say and I feel like I'm being fake if I have to change myself in order to get other people to like
There is a repeatable way to make things happen, have you done any research on this?
I will PM you when I get home. You should do a search on this board for your question on attracting women, the subject has been done to death and you can find some interesting nuggets in there.
You just have to be willing to change your belief system of how these things really work.
What do you do? Do you have a job? Do you have any interests? You need to make yourself interesting. If you have some enthusiasm for something it may make you less socially awkward.
I think prostitution should be legal, but as far as I know it isn't. You do not want to get arrested. Most women, no matter how open minded in theory, are going to reject men they know that go to hookers.
You are young. You have time. Don't expect to just get a girlfriend right now just because you want one. TV and movies aren't real life; finding someone for a relationship isn't that simple. Haven't you read all the complaints other people make about finding dates?
Another question.... do you have any male friends or are you socially awkward with them, too?
No, I'm not an incel because I can get laid whenever I want via escorts. I'd like to learn how to attract women "the normal way" as well, but I feel that it's a compromise to my principles and it means being something that I'm not, so that's my dilemma. And I also feel that if they can't like me for who I really am, why should I change so they'll like "me" more, as I'm not me then.
IMO, there's no such thing as an incel, if you really want to get laid, there are ways you can get laid. I understand that dating is a numbers game and you're going to get rejected more often than not, but I've never had a genuine connection with a girl in my life.
Why oh why does this post sound familiar????
Anyway, wanna know the first way to never, ever get a "normal" girl...like ever? Let them find out you use prostitutes...
Originally Posted by FreeIceCream I'd say that what's wrong with me is I'm uncomfortable in social situations
Have you tried alcohol ?
It can be a blessing or a curse and usually when its a curse it starts as a blessing.
What the heck does that mean ? Alcohol is the king of social anxiety medicine but its usually people with social anxiety who go on to abuse alcohol. Or should I say get abused by alcohol ? That would be more accurate.
If its a tool that works use it wisely and sparingly. Drink enough to break out without being temped to make it all go away and behave terribly.
Are you talking about fundamental changes to your identity, or do you mean that you have a hard time with polite social interactions and you don't want to learn how to better adapt socially?
It seems like I have to pretend to be someone I'm not in social situations, and it feels unnatural to me. And like I said social interaction is one of those gray areas that is going to vary with the circumstances, so knowing what to say/do is a lot more difficult.
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