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Okay OP, listen... If I met a guy I liked, and he told me he'd been with escorts, it wouldn't change my feelings toward him whatsoever. I think escorts are actually a pretty wise and responsible choice if all you want is casual sex. It's much more attractive than some player dude who's out there using random women for sex and then rejecting them. So don't worry too much about seeing escorts. Avoid getting in trouble or developing an addiction and wasting all your money on them, obviously.
As far as your overall dating situation, OP... You're SO very young. I actually laughed when I first saw this thread because to me, you are a fetus and barely beginning your life. I wouldn't even be worrying about having a relationship at your age. But I remember being that young, and I realize to you, it feels like you're running behind. Just please trust me that you have a long, long life ahead of you and there's no need to rush.
Are you using dating sites?
The highlighted part is my precise problem with the whole dating system. I feel like a liar and a fake if I'm putting on a front to attract women. And before anybody says "Just be yourself" I've tried that and it doesn't work. The only way I've ever got any girl to pay attention to me is by putting on a facade. At least I feel honest when I go see an escort.
Have you tried speaking with a therapist about your feelings about being socially awkward? They may be able to give you some valuable insights, which could help you a lot in your feelings about yourself and your resulting interactions with others. Just give it a try.
No I haven't because IMO that's saying that there's something fundamentally wrong with who I am as a person and they're going to try and make me become something that I'm not. So I'd feel like a fake.
It can be a blessing or a curse and usually when its a curse it starts as a blessing.
What the heck does that mean ? Alcohol is the king of social anxiety medicine but its usually people with social anxiety who go on to abuse alcohol. Or should I say get abused by alcohol ? That would be more accurate.
If its a tool that works use it wisely and sparingly. Drink enough to break out without being temped to make it all go away and behave terribly.
Alcohol definitely helps me out in social situations and allows me to relax and little and be more open.
I'm not in bad shape physically, I'm 6'1 and 185 pounds, no bad acne or anything like that. I'd say my problem is my social skills, but since dating isn't a "clear cut" thing, I have trouble understanding the gray areas.
What do you do? Do you have a job? Do you have any interests? You need to make yourself interesting. If you have some enthusiasm for something it may make you less socially awkward.
I think prostitution should be legal, but as far as I know it isn't. You do not want to get arrested. Most women, no matter how open minded in theory, are going to reject men they know that go to hookers.
You are young. You have time. Don't expect to just get a girlfriend right now just because you want one. TV and movies aren't real life; finding someone for a relationship isn't that simple. Haven't you read all the complaints other people make about finding dates?
Another question.... do you have any male friends or are you socially awkward with them, too?
1. I'm a mechanic
2. Yes
3. History, cars, video games, movies, reading, etc.
Why are women so quick to reject guys that go to hookers? Not that I've told anyone in my personal life that I use escorts, but I'd like to know why women look down on men that use escorts more than the player that sweet talks women and feeds them a line of BS to get into their pants. I know which one I respect more. One person wants sex, the other wants money, why is it so wrong to come to an agreement to make that happen. And why is going on a date and buying dinner, flowers, etc. seen as any different? You're still paying for sex at the end of the day, one's just direct and the other's indirect.
4. I always hear people complaining about dating.
5. I have a few male friends that I've known since HS, we might hang out once every month or so. Never had many friends and have always been kind of a loner.
Anyway, wanna know the first way to never, ever get a "normal" girl...like ever? Let them find out you use prostitutes...
What are you talking about?
So I'm just supposed to get rejected over and over again and have no outlet whatsoever for my sexual desires?
Like I said, I don't see why people argue against prostitution, they act as if it makes you a "sleazy" person if you engage in it. As long as there's no human trafficking or being forced to do it, what's the problem? Selling is legal, sex is legal, why isn't selling sex legal? There are strip clubs all over the place are basically as close as you can go to prostitution without actual sex. And not to mention it's illegal to pay someone to have sex with you, but if you pay someone to have sex with you on camera it's pornography and it's considered to be legal, so I'd say the laws need to change.
I can kind of understand why women are against it, it's the same reason why women shame "sluts". If a man can go and get sex whenever he wants from an escort, he's less likely to put up with her BS. If a women is giving it up too easily, it takes away the other women's bargaining chip (sex) and takes power away from them, so they fight it tooth and nail. And no, I don't think there's a big conspiracy among all women to do this, I think it's more an instinctual thing out of self preservation.
TBH you sound like a woman, shaming a man who doesn't conform to what society expects for finding his own outlet for his frustrations, basically sitting back and cackling at someone because they "Just don't get it" without being able to articulate their POV beyond that. How about instead of making fun of me, if you think I'm so wrong and misguided, explain WHY?
There is a repeatable way to make things happen, have you done any research on this?
I will PM you when I get home. You should do a search on this board for your question on attracting women, the subject has been done to death and you can find some interesting nuggets in there.
You just have to be willing to change your belief system of how these things really work.
21 is still young, but I know how upsetting it can be to feel rejected, I didn't get a gf until I was 20 (26 now), and it bothered me a lot when I was 19-20. Also don't worry about the escorts thing, I did it too between relationships and my gf has no problem with it.
Anyway, if you're not already I'd recommend trying to join some group/club etc where you can meet people in real life. Sounds like most of your interests are solitary, there's nothing wrong with that but it's good to have an outlet to meet new people It'll help your social skills, and I always found online dating to be really ****ty. I think you'll have a lot better time meeting people in real life.
Because they don't like me when I act "normal". I feel like I have to put on a front in order to get them to even acknowledge me, let alone talk to me. If I act normal they don't notice me or pay any attention.
I'd say that what's wrong with me is I'm uncomfortable in social situations because I never know what to say or how to make what I want to happen happen. There's no tested, repeatable way to achieve the same ends like there is in other aspects of life, like baking a cake for example, and I don't understand it. People never seem to like what I have to say and I feel like I'm being fake if I have to change myself in order to get other people to like "me".
But like anybody else I still have a sex drive, and because "normal" woman have denied my company I've had to seek out other options to satisfy my needs.
I am going to go out on a limb here and say that EVERYONE puts on a little better portrayal of themselves in the beginning stages of knowing someone. It's just advertising. But I would be interested to know more about you. Are you meeting lots of women? Have you ever tried online dating?
I wish we could stop talking about prostitutes and try to help this guy. Here's a radical idea. Ask one of the hookers to be TOTALLY honest and tell you what it is about you that might be offputting to a 'normal' woman. I might not use the word 'normal' to the hooker though. But tell her you will pay her extra for total honesty. It's a place to start.
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