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As you get more life experience, you tend to learn what doesn't work for you, whether tbrough dating someone with a trait or by seeing other people's experiences and learning vicariously. You also learn what does work, but then you may be determined to find people with those traits, which eliminates people. I think this is good for finding a compatible person, but those people can be rare.
Sure, some people get divorced, and some married people have relationships outside of that marriage, etc, but the point should be obvious
The point isn't obvious. There are fewer men and fewer women, so the ratios are pretty much the same. Plus, again, with OLD most of the population is available to us at a click.
When those of us that are "older and wiser" were in in our 20s, that wasn't the case. We were limited to the people we met at parties, at shows, through friends. It was really a slog.
Now, it's easy as can be, so while more people might be married, those that aren't are FAR easier to connect with. Lots of people I know find it much easier to meet good people, and more good people, now when in their 40s than it was when we were in our 20s. A smaller overall pool DOES NOT equal less opportunity, thanks to technology. Technology changed the dynamic, for the better, the realistic available pool is larger than it was at 21! It's easier to have more first dates in a month at 45 now than in a year at 25, which is 20 years ago.
The point isn't obvious. There are fewer men and fewer women, so the ratios are pretty much the same. Plus, again, with OLD most of the population is available to us at a click.
When those of us that are "older and wiser" were in in our 20s, that wasn't the case. We were limited to the people we met at parties, at shows, through friends. It was really a slog.
Now, it's easy as can be, so while more people might be married, those that aren't are FAR easier to connect with. Lots of people I know find it much easier to meet good people, and more good people, now when in their 40s than it was when we were in our 20s. A smaller overall pool DOES NOT equal less opportunity, thanks to technology. Technology changed the dynamic, for the better, the realistic available pool is larger than it was at 21! It's easier to have more first dates in a month at 45 now than in a year at 25, which is 20 years ago.
Yes , and technology in "meeting" people online from far away , you can travel and increase your options . . .good way to look at it.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Idkeither
Yes , and technology in "meeting" people online from far away , you can travel and increase your options . . .good way to look at it.
That too, but I wasn't even thinking about that. My partner and I met on bumble. We would never, ever have met if it weren't for that, and she lived 2 miles away at the time. Most of the people I met with OLD I would never have run into in the wild and had a chance at making a connection, we wouldn't have crossed paths. OLD really increased the availability, at every age range, to make a connection. It's a total game changer.
I think people, esp people in their 30s or younger, forget how different it was 15+ years ago. It was really a freaking crap shoot. It pretty much sucked. Great, demographic data might have said there were more people, but if you can't connect with them and don't run into them, that's not helpful one bit. It's about the available pool, and that's much larger now.
Is this an old and set in your ways problem? Like you know what works for you and are much quicker to end things when red flags pop up? Shouldn't knowing much more about yourself work to your advantage as you mature? Or is it simply younger people are more attractive so your options as an older person are limited? Thoughts?
Define "older?"
My comparison is from about 18 to about 36 years old. Best I can do, because I have never been out on the open market for dating, for any long period of time. I was "taken" 18-36 and 37-40 (now.) It was SO SO much better at 36. Mostly because I knew myself better, I could spot other people's motivations better and was more able and willing to say NO if their needs and mine weren't a good fit. OLD made things super easy, and so did a community I would never have found without the internet.
I was always able to get someone but now I can have someone who is actually a good match for me.
But I argue with you about younger people being more attractive. I just don't agree with that, I don't think that they are. But that's a pretty subjective business, attraction. *shrug*
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39
This has not been my experience, I'm sure because of where I now live.
The poster you were quoting meant that older guys are catnip to women who are about their age. You mentioned earlier beating back younger men trying to get younger women. So I think there is some disconnect between what you're replying to and the context of your reply, if it is younger women you're after. ??
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
That too, but I wasn't even thinking about that. My partner and I met on bumble. We would never, ever have met if it weren't for that, and she lived 2 miles away at the time. Most of the people I met with OLD I would never have run into in the wild and had a chance at making a connection, we wouldn't have crossed paths. OLD really increased the availability, at every age range, to make a connection. It's a total game changer.
I think people, esp people in their 30s or younger, forget how different it was 15+ years ago. It was really a freaking crap shoot. It pretty much sucked. Great, demographic data might have said there were more people, but if you can't connect with them and don't run into them, that's not helpful one bit. It's about the available pool, and that's much larger now.
Lord yes. I got the "best" catch of my social group when I found my ex, but my social group was a bunch of LARP (Live Action Role-Play) participants, running around pretending to be vampires in 1997 at Northern Kentucky University. Where I was not a student, just a kid showing up because a friend of mine was into it. Wow...top dog of the LARP crowd...man, that's a winner, huh?
But at the time I did not know how else I was likely to meet people besides the social groups I had, we didn't have the internet then, at least not like we do now...so.
You learn too many lessons to lie to yourself anymore.
When I was young, I'd always see the red flags. I'd just ignore them.
Now, I've learned the hard way what happens when you ignore red flags.
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