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There is no way to rule out all potential incompatibilities in one profile. You find out the sexual things after going out with the person for a while. If a man didn't at least make a pass at me by date #3 I felt there was something wrong with him. It is time to move on if they don't make some kind of sexual advance (even just kissing) after a while, then you'll know they are non-sexual, very low sex drive or possibly closeted. If they are Evangelical Christian (no pre-marital sex) they will usually tell you that upfront. I'm not sure about some of the other religions, like Catholics. I dated Evangelical Christian man and he would not even touch me or allow me to sit too close to him. Which was hard to do, as we were frequently alone together and I felt an attraction toward him. This was weird and not something I could deal with. I'm sure there is some woman out there for him, but it wasn't me.
That seems true. There is no substitute for the legwork.
Carly, how long would you want to date a new guy before sex? I read it as "not on the first date" or "not looking for casual sex." But by say, the third date you would definitely want it at that point, if not the second. I'm fairly sure you didn't have a specific number in mind, but how much vetting did you have in mind?
I won't want to have sex with someone who might also be having sex with someone else. So I guess until we're exclusive and it feels like it is something that might be going somewhere.
I'm trying to think here: What's a good way for her to signal that she wants a vibrant and sex positive partner but also wants a long term, serious relationship? It sounds like she's gotten guys before with either hangups (madonna/wh**e complexes) or low libidos. I agree with what was said before that it will flow without overthinking it with a good match, but signalling what she is after will surely help in finding that good match.
How many dates have you been on with men you have met using online dating? You don’t have a problem finding chemistry? I find that to be completely the opposite. I don’t get to the part where there’s a Madonna/***** complex, because there needs to be chemistry for me to even be interested in what their thoughts on sex are!
I've been on lots. There is often chemistry however sometimes it's been more one sided.
I've noticed that men have tended to project something on to me, something non-sexual. I've been told on many occasions I come across as demure, wholesome and innocent. On occasions when it become sexual, guys have said something to the effect of "hmm, it's always the quiet ones". As if I wasn't supposed to have any kind of sexuality because of some kind of vibe or manner I give off, that I can't help giving off.
It probably doesn't help that I'm 5ft tall, and slightly built, I just come across as a bit unworldly & young somehow. So I suppose I'm looking for ways to project something different. I can probably do that through the profile pics.
Last edited by Carly1983; 09-16-2019 at 05:38 AM..
I've seen some women make some mention on how sexual they are and their partner to be as equally sexual, phrasing it in a more romanticized way. Like, "I'd like for him to not be able to keep his hands of me" or something to that effect. More implied. How they want that unbridled passion.
Of course, the OK Cupid site has a survey dedicated to asking personal sexual questions to see if there's "compatibility" in that department, even before you meet.
I've liked about half of the people I've met through online dating enough to go on a second date. I think I can get a good sense from their profile whether I'm going to like them or not.
I've liked about half of the people I've met through online dating enough to go on a second date. I think I can get a good sense from their profile whether I'm going to like them or not.
Maybe, that is if the profile isn't too vanilla and cliche'd and sounds like everyone else's profile. lol
Maybe, that is if the profile isn't too vanilla and cliche'd and sounds like everyone else's profile. lol
Some people are bad at writing profiles but actually interesting. I chat beforehand to see what kind of person they are, and do a bit of filtering that way.
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