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That's YOUR approach to relationships. He obviously has a different approach. Why should he get an eye roll because he cares more about respecting his relationship than you do yours?
(See how those false accusations and ad hominem attacks work? That's why you shouldn't use them.)
You wouldnt think twice about a business lunch with a male.....but you are biased against a woman in business because it could be seen as inappropriate? That’s awful....We’ve come too far to not be treated like other professionals in the same settings......because of how it *looks*?
I grab lunch with doctors & other nurses all the time...sometimes they are male & we are alone because we’re on break together! I don’t care how it looks....I’m having lunch with people that work with me.....
E d i t: lunch with an ex is different than business or a work friend.......I would never have lunch with any ex & I wouldn’t want my Bf to either.......
Yup, You’re damn right, the optics doesn’t look good. Give me a mandatory rule I should have lunch with a woman coworker one in one? Because I can not think of one. Business stays at the workplace, not at Applebee’s or Chili’s. I’ve run a few companies (And I’ve always been the boss/the one that signs payroll checks) and having lunch with a woman coworker........well people talk, create drama/rumors in the workplace. It’s inevitable in almost every workplace.
You go ahead and have lunch with doctors and janitors. I’ll have lunch in my office and never have to worry about trust issues with my SO.
Btw: Has nothing to do with gender inequality, but respect for my SO. So, you can pump your brakes on that nonsense. Lol
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,589,638 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
That's YOUR approach to relationships. He obviously has a different approach. Why should he get an eye roll because he cares more about respecting his relationship than you do yours?
(See how those false accusations and ad hominem attacks work? That's why you shouldn't use them.)
His approach is not seeing a woman as an equal in the workplace tho...he is seeing her as a woman that has to be avoided because of *how it might look* & so I can disagree....it’s not 1963. Men & women can work together without thoughts about how it *looks*.... it’s disrespectful to all women to see us as anything but equals.......to have a business lunch just like with a man would with a man.....
My relationship is not filled with insecurities so I’m lucky.....we are able to have work lunches without jealousies....because we have confidence in how we feel...& in our relationship....& we know having a break to eat lunch with someone that works with us won’t cause our amazing love & commitment to crumble......it’s work...& I get scheduled for breaks with who I get scheduled. We can’t avoid the opposite sex at work....that’s silly....
Now....a lunch with an ex.....IMO that’s different.....but I would never have lunch with an ex & I know my Bf wouldn’t disrespect me by doing that.....BUT
If anyone is threatened by a *work or business lunch* tho.....& that’s all it is is a lunch....then the relationship isn’t very secure IMO....
His approach is not seeing a woman as an equal in the workplace tho...he is seeing her as a woman that has to be avoided because of *how it might look* & so I can disagree....it’s not 1963. Men & women can work together without thoughts about how it *looks*.... it’s disrespectful to all women to see us as anything but equals.......to have a business lunch just like with a man would with a man.....
Nah, that's a false narrative.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh
My relationship is not filled with insecurities so I’m lucky.....we are able to have work lunches without jealousies....because we have confidence in how we feel...& in our relationship....& we know having a break to eat lunch with someone that works with us won’t cause our amazing love & commitment to crumble......it’s work...& I get scheduled for breaks with who I get scheduled. We can’t avoid the opposite sex at work....that’s silly....
Yes, we're all aware of your amazing and very serious relationship since you mention it in nearly every thread regardless of whether it's relevant.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh
If anyone is threatened by a *work or business lunch* tho.....& that’s all it is is a lunch....then the relationship isn’t very secure IMO....
It's not about being "threatened" or any other juvenile line of thought. It's about being PROactive rather than Reactive. Besides, people in the relationship get to choose how they want to operate. Your judging them for that only makes you look petty.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,589,638 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
Nah, that's a false narrative.
Yes, we're all aware of your amazing and very serious relationship since you mention it in nearly every thread regardless of whether it's relevant.
It's not about being "threatened" or any other juvenile line of thought. It's about being PROactive rather than Reactive. Besides, people in the relationship get to choose how they want to operate. Your judging them for that only makes you look petty.
You brought it up tho...saying I was disrespecting my relationship......because I have lunch with coworkers....
Avoiding the opposite sex at work is juvenile IMO....
To me, it seems like, if everything is OK at home, and your SO isn't treating you in a negative way, than there's nothing to worry about. IMO, that's the bottom line.
Relationship experiences has taught me to avoid any appearance of impropriety while in a relationship. I can’t find any reason to have lunch with any other woman alone, whether it’s a longtime friend or for business. Some might say I’m insecure, but I consider it smart and respectful.
Mike Pence did things on that order and he took a beating for it. This I believe was right before the Metoo movement.
I posted earlier that I'd probably avoid a one on one with a female co-worker for the most part, just like you said for the appearances and particularly true if we aren't direct co-workers, which would raise more gossipy flags in my opinion.
For all of the arguments about it being a way to hold women back is garbage and nonsense. People that need to work together can work around any kind of "special" requirement. I think Pence has an open door policy or has a third person sitting in meetings in the occasion that he thinks requires it. Things like that can be done.
Mike Pence did things on that order and he took a beating for it. This I believe was right before the Metoo movement.
I posted earlier that I'd probably avoid a one on one with a female co-worker for the most part, just like you said for the appearances and particularly true if we aren't direct co-workers, which would raise more gossipy flags in my opinion.
For all of the arguments about it being a way to hold women back is garbage and nonsense. People that need to work together can work around any kind of "special" requirement. I think Pence has an open door policy or has a third person sitting in meetings in the occasion that he thinks requires it. Things like that can be done.
Social gatherings are a whole other beast.
I completely agree with no meetings with women alone at work, no mentoring of young women at work. No lunches and absolutely no over night trips with women. The Me Too movement was pretty much all about getting rid of due process (believe all women). An accusation is treated as guilt. We do know some women make false rape accusations Duke Lacrosse case. We also know 1-4% has the anti social personality disorder, who would lie about these matters. There is absolutely no reason to meet with women alone at work. I no longer hire women to work with me.
I completely agree with no meetings with women alone at work, no mentoring of young women at work. No lunches and absolutely no over night trips with women. The Me Too movement was pretty much all about getting rid of due process (believe all women). An accusation is treated as guilt. We do know some women make false rape accusations Duke Lacrosse case. We also know 1-4% has the anti social personality disorder, who would lie about these matters. There is absolutely no reason to meet with women alone at work. I no longer hire women to work with me.
The bolded is the exact fear that I and many others have had. I am sorta afraid that the metoo moment is going to have some negative repercussions for women. Most women aren't out to get the average guy, at least I don't think so and it would be a shame if decent women see a reduction in opportunity.
I completely agree with no meetings with women alone at work, no mentoring of young women at work. No lunches and absolutely no over night trips with women. The Me Too movement was pretty much all about getting rid of due process (believe all women). An accusation is treated as guilt. We do know some women make false rape accusations Duke Lacrosse case. We also know 1-4% has the anti social personality disorder, who would lie about these matters. There is absolutely no reason to meet with women alone at work. I no longer hire women to work with me.
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Men & women can work together without thoughts about how it *looks*.... it’s disrespectful to all women to see us as anything but equals.......to have a business lunch just like with a man would with a man.....
