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This guy lied to you, used you, let you down regarding school, the trip to France, asked you to be a PROSTITUTE on the side and you say you are not pregnant YET? Belle, whatever you do, you cannot get pregnant or it's back to the trailer park on welfare and food stamps. Do you want to do that to your child? Do you want that for yourself?
I know you don't believe you can do better that is why you need help. No good man is going to come sweep a semi-homeless woman off her feet and rescue her. That is just a fact. No matter how sweet or beautiful. A good man wants a woman who values herself and does for herself at least a little better than that. You're going to need help and do a little bootstrapping to get up in life.
You are not in a real marriage. It was a sham to make you happy. He had plenty of time to tell his parents. You should have left on TG when he left you at home.
He's keeping you a secret. You do not have a husband.
I had posted some comments that were going to be very judgmental. (Which I tried to edit, but I see they've already been copied. Which is fine. It was my initial reaction.)
Now, I sort of feel pity.
This case just shows there are a lot of people who need help in this world.
Some have no self esteem. Some have had no guidance about how to value themselves.
Some have no concept of boundaries. They don't know what should be acceptable and what's not.
There are so many lost and vulnerable people in this world.
It's sad. Just sad.
She came from nothing. I remember my Aunt, who feels she came from nothing, telling me she didn't even have anyone to give some good ADVICE.
Belle has had no one to instill values and a work ethic or model a healthy relationship, how to live, any of that.
She's part of the generational poverty cycle people talk about. She's trying to get out, but keeps falling back on a man is the biggest problem.
She states over and over that she isn't trying to be rescued. But she is. If she really isn't, then is pure desperation to get back with this guy. I ended up wanting her to go with the Mormon IF she had to get married rather than go to school. At least a trade school.
Belle has had no one to instill values and a work ethic or model a healthy relationship, how to live, any of that.
No one? Not in the church she attended her entire life? The people she encountered at work? Her classmates? Popular culture? Sympathetic CD posters? No one?
No one? Not in the church she attended her entire life? The people she encountered at work? Her classmates? Popular culture? Sympathetic CD posters? No one?
CD posters can only do so much. She's grown. I'm talking about how healthy people are usually healthy because they had a healthy upbringing. Obviously there are exceptions but that is the norm.
There are critical stages that start in infancy regarding healthy attachments and more.
Then there is someone teaching you a work ethic in the home. Belle has a poor work ethic is why I mention that. It's clear no one made her do chores and have the right attitude about it and interact well with the boss (parents).
No one stood over her to help her/make her do well in school. I got grounded for 6 weeks if I brought home anything lower than a B.
Anyway, she didn't have this stuff is what I am saying. No one taught her how to overcome obstacles. When something is too hard for Belle, she quits. Especially if she has to to it on her own. With this guy, if he had given her his uber account on her phone and ferried her around she'd be in school. But on her own, it's too hard and she doesn't want to anymore.
Delayed gratification. She hasn't been shown and taught the rewards of that. Heck, that is part of the reason any sort of degree is valuable. They can see that you know how to buckle down.
I read through the thread Zentropa linked to a few posts back and there is no excuse for this poster to be in this situation. As we mature, we make poor choices and then eventually someone comes along and schools us. That's exactly what went on in that thread of more than a year ago. Yet she's learned nothing. She naively believes everything this man has told her and comes here after marrying him wondering if it's odd that she hasn't met his family yet.
She doesn't want to hear what people are posting - she made that clear in a different thread.
So she's in this mess of her own accord, based on choices people told her were destructive, and not really because she didn't have proper modeling as a child.
She needs professional help at this point, another suggestion that will be ignored and she'll go away until her next thread that will probably involve being a dumped mother with a baby to feed.
Wow, please get professional help, or help from a friend. We are just strangers offering our opinions. You really need a real person in your life to help you get out of this terrible situation.
Your husband has done international business trips so I presume he has the usual gold plated health, dental, and vision policies. Are you on those policies now? I recall you needed to get dental work done and you have some issues standing on your feet for long periods so you could use a good primary care physician, a gynecologist, and some specialist referrals.
Personally, I don’t think him not wearing a ring is a big deal. I never did.
I hope this guy turns out to be your Prince Charming. You’ve certainly traveled a rough road.
What would the benefit be for the husband to get married? "Just to make her happy" doesn't seem to fit someone who is playing her.
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