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Because your ex was good-looking and had a good personality, she is harder to date??
Well, if that is your reasoning and you're attractive/fit/awesome/all that, then it should be easy for you to date!
How can you be a cold person and have a good personality?
And what do you mean "get with" all these B-level gals?
I think there is plenty here to unpack, OP.
I think that he means that because his former girlfriend was attractive in both appearance and personality, the "bar" for what he desires in a partner is set pretty high. He also feels that if he's with anyone less than attractive (on a multitude of levels--not just in appearance), he would be settling for less than he feels that he deserves. (The latter I've gleaned from his previous posts as well as this one.)
The key to a happy long-term relationship is caring for the other person equally to oneself.
This generally takes a level of maturity many people don't have at 28 which is still considered young-ish.
Instead of looking for a relationship, look for a friend. Someone you truly LIKE. There has to be a spark of course, but a foundational friendship is the solid basis of a long-term relationship.
Were the fights you had with your ex about jealousy/insecurities? Just from what we've been told sounds like she met someone and then broke up with you.
That happens, it's happened to all of us. It's the risk we take in the game of love.
Meanwhile do a little soul searching. What do you really want besides good looks and fun?
And get your apartment in good kit. Sounds like you can afford it. Choose a local mid-range furniture store, many offer great sales and reasonable terms.
Buy a couch, end tables, lamps, area rug, bed and frame, pictures for the walls. Make yourself a home.
If you're unsure of what to get take a friend, or sales people can help guide you.
Sounds like you realize you're unsettled and at loose ends. That's a good sign of maturing right there.
OP, how could have have a relationship, having an apartment with no couch and only an air mattress on the floor?
This is hard to believe. And you're a nurse, so you make good money. But you couldn't "splurge" on a used couch and a regular bed? If you were cheap with your gf you cared so much for, I can see why there would be fights. Not that you need to shower anyone with gifts, but going out to lunch and dinner occasionally, a concert here and there...
That must be one heck of a retirement fund you're building up already!
Man, oh man. even back in the 1970s, when I was a poor college student I had a real bed and and a used couch. Even all the equally broke college students that I knew had a real bed and a couch. Sheesh. It is not surprising that you can't find a girlfriend. I bet that once a woman sees your apartment they assume that you must have very bad habits (such as gambling or drugs) or are mentally ill.
To add to what the others are saying, I've found that when people talk about their looks, attire, fitness, education, and job, etc. - they're lacking in the areas they aren't addressing.
What about your ability to connect on an emotional level, your personality, your interests? Are you well-rounded, outgoing, can you discuss any number of subjects with anyone? Are you difficult to get along with? Picky that things need to be just so?
There are a lot of reasons people may only have a couple of relationships by the time they get to their late 20's. You're only looking at the most superficial among them.
To add to what the others are saying, I've found that when people talk about their looks, attire, fitness, education, and job, etc. - they're lacking in the areas they aren't addressing.
To add to what the others are saying, I've found that when people talk about their looks, attire, fitness, education, and job, etc. - they're lacking in the areas they aren't addressing.
What about your ability to connect on an emotional level, your personality, your interests? Are you well-rounded, outgoing, can you discuss any number of subjects with anyone? Are you difficult to get along with? Picky that things need to be just so?
There are a lot of reasons people may only have a couple of relationships by the time they get to their late 20's. You're only looking at the most superficial among them.
And people like the OP talk about relationships like acquiring a person to fill the woman-shaped hole in his life is going to solve his problems and change his life. It might change his life, but you should be in a relationship with someone who you think is a great person and you love spending time with, not just because you're bored and horny and you think you need to be in a relationship at your age.
OP. Please study your post. Ive been around a lot longer than you and see many reasons you are not having luck in relationships.
Let’s start with your focus on career rather than people. Being on the cold side, is not a deal breaker, but is not helpful
Come to think of it, it's not great for being in the nursing profession, either. The medical profession is a lot more than learning a lot of science.
OP, you need to thaw out.
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This is why posting history matters.
If you were cheap with your gf you cared so much for, I can see why there would be fights. Not that you need to shower anyone with gifts, but going out to lunch and dinner occasionally, a concert here and there...
