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Any divorced guys here not know why their wife wanted to divorce? Just wondering how common this is. I'm thinking about my ex and he told me that his ex-wife left him and when I asked why she left he said "I don't know". Has this happened to any other divorced guy? You don't know why she left you?
I am not a guy but I think alot of them are delusional.
At the end of my marriage I was a nagger and complainer. We went to counseling, etc. I told him clearly what needs to change, he did it for a week or not at all. And then when I broke up with him he was very surprised. I was very surprised that he was very surprised.
I am sure if you ask him, he says he doesn't know why we broke up. He wore the wedding band until our divorce (7 years after breaking up), knowing I have a bf at times, periods with barely any contact, etc.
They don't want to accept the truth, so they deny it. Maybe deny it so well that they believe what makes them feel better and less crushed. No one wants to hear they failed as a spouse, denial of facts is easier.
So your friend didn't ask his wife why she was leaving? OR, he didn't believe her?
Either he didn't ask or he didn't get an answer. He believed her because once she said she wanted a divorce, he got so MAD that he went down to the courthouse and filed the papers first out of spite before she could. Now THAT, he did tell me.
Either he didn't ask or he didn't get an answer. He believed her because once she said she wanted a divorce, he got so MAD that he went down to the courthouse and filed the papers for her out of spite. Now THAT, he did tell me.
I would bet they just don't want to tell you the actual reason.
Or maybe the answer was "cluelessness."
No divorced guy usually holds back telling you the ex left for another man/was cheating. They only forget if they got divorced because THEY f..cked up.
I've said this before on here, but a guy once told me, "Do you know that part in the wedding vows that says 'Until DEATH do us part'? A man wrote that part!"
I couldn't answer this question during the first year after my divorce. no closure at all. It appeared that it was because of a misunderstanding over her wanting kids and me saying not now because I was unemployed. I'll never know why one bad year of marriage (out of 50, conceivably) would make her leave without infidelity, abuse, or addiction. I will never know. Anyway, now when a woman asks, I can say without emotion that it was poor communication (mostly on my part) and explain all the work I've done on myself over the past decade to improve my communication with women so I never experience that pain again. Usually, this answer makes them swoon, especially when they see me being vulnerable.
I think properly answering this question requires YEARS
of self-reflection, perhaps counseling, journal writing, soul-searching
and an acknowledgment that we were both very DIFFERENT people 10 or 15 years ago.
Many of the conclusions I came up with, were only made clear to me when I was in a 6-year-off-n-on relationship with someone NEW. (ah ha, that chick was crazy! You can't fix crazy! - or wait: am I crazy?)
I won't get into a list of personality characteristics or shortcomings or moral failings, because for as many as I could nominate for my ex wife, I'm sure in the interests of equaltime, she could produce a list of mine as long as a roll of toilet paper.
If you only get to choose single keywords and not essay-style explanations:
sex + money + "basic temperament"
That's what we fought about. everyday. How much some other person should 'control'
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