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What role do you see your and your partner's political and social views playing in the relationship you hope to find?
I get that you had bad experiences with a couple of women who had views you disagreed with and where you had a perception that they expected your agreement and compliance. But I think you may be reacting to that in the wrong way.
I have a really hard time imagining anyone reading this and thinking "gosh, my beliefs would not have existed before the advent of polarizing social media echo chambers, so I'd better pass." But I have an easy time imagining someone reading this and thinking "this guy has strong negative feelings about politics and I don't like political arguments, so I'd better pass."
I'm curious... If you leave this out of your profile, how many 'likes' do you receive in a typical week? How many of those lead to conversations? How many of those conversations lead to dates? And at what point are you deciding that there was an obvious deal-breaker you should have filtered out earlier?
Honestly, most of the edits just scream “mansplain” to me. That’s just a big no.
I’ve found that men who complain about attracting a certain type of woman do so for a reason. Sometimes the mansplainers complain that they are ending up with the bossy types, but that’s because the bossy types can overcome the mansplaining or the desire to have a deep, two-sided discussion on everything and feel comfortable telling a guy to shove it.
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What do you personally think of my last post? If you think it sounds alright, then I can definitely agree that it can call it a conclusion to this consultation.
Just listing a couple women who I greatly admire, instead of a whole paragraph. And then when a woman asks me about these women I admire, they can tell a lot about me and whether or not we're compatible.
Well they know who you are on the inside. They know what they are getting. If you think that was interesting or illustrative...
It might have been amusing if you just were more honest, used fewer words: no antivaxxers, vegans, whatever etc, that you are MOR in all things. Get to the point faster.
Quote:
I am also absolutely trying to filter out:
Women who talk about smashing the patriarchy, think half the country is racist, and lists their preferred pronouns (If you are looking at Millennial Congresswomen - I would NEVER date someone like AOC for example)
AND women who are REALLY pro-2nd amendment and wear a MAGA hat. (AOC's rightwing counterpart would be someone like Lauren Boebert).
I am open dating a BROAD range of women, I just want the aforementioned types of women to take one look at my short bio, and "think, yeah he's not my type. I'm looking for someone to go to BLM or womens' marches" OR the opposite. OR "Yeah, not my type. I'm passionate about being a vegan, or never eating sugar or never buying a non-GMO product"
Does this make sense now?
As a guy, I have no problem making the first move AFTER a "like" or a "wink" or whatever. THAT is the best way to conserve your energy as a guy. Not looking for someone to message me first, but just like, wink or whatever.
Sorry, I think that if "Its 2021 and we live in an era of gender equality, guys should demand that women should send SOME signal if they like what they see. We shouldn't allow women to use dating profiles just for an ego boost. We should share and distribute the emotional burden of rejection more equitably. Its not hard to like or wink if you like what you see.
You should condense this but add the content. You will not be dating a broad range of women.
What do you personally think of my last post? If you think it sounds alright, then I can definitely agree that it can call it a conclusion to this consultation.
Just listing a couple women who I greatly admire, instead of a whole paragraph. And then when a woman asks me about these women I admire, they can tell a lot about me and whether or not we're compatible.
I think it's better that you are making a positive statement instead of a negative one. I've never heard of those women... I suspect that many of your prospective dates haven't, either.
It's still not clear to me what you're trying to accomplish. If you want to meet someone who will actively participate in your social/political interests and share your views, then this is an okay approach although you might have better luck meeting women by volunteering for your favorite moderate candidate's campaign or something. But if you would be fine with dating someone who is apathetic or agnostic on these issues, you will scare her away by putting this front and center on your profile. Most people are not nearly so interested in academic politics as you are. Is this an interest you really want to share with your partner?
You never answered my question... How many messages/dates are you getting with an apolitical profile where you realize there is incompatibility, and how long does it take you to recognize this?
I looked up Pluckrose, and she seems pretty extreme in her beliefs (I had heard something at the time about the dog park rapes via the Right on P&OC and their outrage), yes, I understand it was a "prank" to out identity politics.
Like I said, extreme is subjective.
Listen, if you think women will be all over your profile to the point that you should start eliminating them based on stuff like this, do it. Doesn't matter if any of us agree.
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Scrap all that whole paragraph that is still going to be off-putting . . . (I purposely and deliberately avoid any viewpoints or movements (health and lifestyle movements, religion, social justice/politics, etc.) that would not have existed before the advent of polarizing social media echo chambers.)
NO!
All I should really do is name drop the "most inspiring women in my age range.
This is probably the best way to signal to those who I would find a lot of common values with, NOT be off-putting with negativity and/or antagonism, yet still might filter out those that that I'm trying to filter out.
Here it is:
"A couple of the women I most admire in my generation including Bari Weiss and Helen Pluckrose. Both women display bravery that I find inspirational."
(Weiss is a journalist and Pluckrose is a academic - both are classic liberals on a crusade speaking out against woke cancel culture and critical theory)
I'm being positive showing that there are women I greatly admire for their achievements and voice.
If the majority of women think "Never heard of them". No loss. If they ask who are they are then, I can tell them and go from there. If they like that - great. If they don't like it - great I just filtered out those I would probably not be compatible with.
Thoughts?
As far as I'm concerned, you've jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire.
You've said it more than once, through out this thread, that you have no regard for "the woke culture". To me, as a female who has experienced sexual harassment (a couple of times, it being quite scary) I read this and I think "what's his problem here? What about "Woke Culture" does he not like? Does it make him uncomfortable that women speak out against the harassment they've experienced? Would I be expected to just never talk about it around him? Am I supposed to disown that part of my life experience?"
I mean...what exactly is it about Woke Culture, that upsets you? So I'm reading your rather critical profile, and I'm thinking "Why would I bother with this guy who doesn't want to accept the idea that women are speaking out about the harassment they've experienced?"
So many profiles for a woman to look at, and you're making it super easy to skip over you.
As far as I'm concerned, you've jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire.
You've said it more than once, through out this thread, that you have no regard for "the woke culture". To me, as a female who has experienced sexual harassment (a couple of times, it being quite scary) I read this and I think "what's his problem here? What about "Woke Culture" does he not like? Does it make him uncomfortable that women speak out against the harassment they've experienced? Would I be expected to just never talk about it around him? Am I supposed to disown that part of my life experience?"
I mean...what exactly is it about Woke Culture, that upsets you? So I'm reading your rather critical profile, and I'm thinking "Why would I bother with this guy who doesn't want to accept the idea that women are speaking out about the harassment they've experienced?"
So many profiles for a woman to look at, and you're making it super easy to skip over you.
He's doing it for screening purposes. I get what he is saying and agree, I hate woke culture and it has nothing to do with accepting sexual harassment.
He's doing it for screening purposes. I get what he is saying and agree, I hate woke culture and it has nothing to do with accepting sexual harassment.
Well how very wise of him. I'd surely be weeded out...or I'd do the weeding out...whatever.
Well how very wise of him. I'd surely be weeded out...or I'd do the weeding out...whatever.
Same. I would look at all of that and pass.
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