Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Not necessarily. And the worst guys are the one who believe they're entitled to sex because they:
yadda, yadda, yadda.
Someone must first seem appealing to get sex and to have their personality truly fleshed out. So yeah, the guy that checks off a lot of the boxes I mentioned will likely get a turn first at putting his personality on display. What he does with that chance is up to him…he could fake it for a week or years to get sex (I think this is called “pick up artist”) or he could truly have a nice personality that the other person gets to know. I don’t think we can pretend though that nothing matters but personality.
This isn't about hoards of women "looking into men's souls". This is about men simply being decent human beings.
And yes, people can pretend to have a great personality/character for a while, and it's often advised not to sleep with someone, until you get to know them better. The 'mask' often slips off in short order, if you know what to look/listen for.
Check out how many women come here to CD and talk about bad dates. Chances are, they're not saying that the date was bad because he didn't have a 6-digit income...or that he wasn't "cute" enough. Their complaints are mostly about their crappy personality.
That should be a clue right there.
But, seemingly for many guys, they *have* to have that income, that cute face, that ripped bod, that h****t, etc. BEFORE they can even get that 30-minute coffee date. Particularly if its an OLD date.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,995,252 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mink57
It's funny...usually, if a man claims he wants to date, it's not "people" who make those suggestions. It's usually the men who make those suggestions. Come to think of it...I've been on here for about 4 years, and not ONCE have I ever read from a woman, that a desperate guy should go out and try to make a 6 figure income or get 'rock hard pecs' in order to improve his odds.
!
Yea, so, I think the working out and being so called "successful" (which people usually mean make $$, which is a very odd metric for success, but that's "America", woo woo)... will impact dating, but not because it will impress women, but instead because the guy will have increased self esteem. That comes across in dating. If you feel lousy about how you look, or bad about how your career is going, that's going to have a negative impact in how you come across to others. So, like most things, do it for you, not for others.
Actually, you need a decent personality/character FIRST.
Maybe a big part of the problem is that men spend too much time trying to impress the 'few' with the superficial garbage, and not enough time working on their personality/character...
...and they should start first with exercising a bit of humility, instead of thinking that their "rock hard abs" and 6-digit income make them all 'that'.
As a man, I agree with this. I'm older but I do see a lot of younger guys falling into this category. I think they are the nature of society today; focused on short term and the superficial. The things that create an online persona on social media.... In my years dating and meeting people from all sorts walks-of-life, I see that most people are products of their environment.
With that said, this new thread is somewhat related in my opinion. In particular MinivanDriver's post.
Many (men and women) will attract a certain type that isn't all that healthy for them..... I know my female friends tend to. Rather than project interest to other more suitable dates they just keep picking up the ones that they attract. Failure after failure after failure. My closest friend (also female) has brought in some of the biggest jerks I've had the displeasure of meeting... love her but her ability to choose healthy relationships is completely messed up.
A man’s life could be consumed by “wooing” women if he listens to online advice or most advice in general.
Workout 4-5 times a week, watch your diet and get enough protein, dress nice and stylish, be extra clean, smell good, have a nice car, keep your car sparkling clean, have a home, keep your home sparkling clean, be well traveled, know how to cook well, have interesting hobbies, have a good social circle, get a high paying job with status, have an edge, look a certain way, be altruistic, etc, etc.
I’m sure it works for a lot of people. But I also hear a lot of people say he or she isn’t the same person I met years into a relationship. Perhaps it’s often because so much effort is put into wooing and isn’t really sustainable long term…like for decades.
Are the women these men are pursuing doing all of this as well?
A man’s life could be consumed by “wooing” women if he listens to online advice or most advice in general.
Workout 4-5 times a week, watch your diet and get enough protein, dress nice and stylish, be extra clean, smell good, have a nice car, keep your car sparkling clean, have a home, keep your home sparkling clean, be well traveled, know how to cook well, have interesting hobbies, have a good social circle, get a high paying job with status, have an edge, look a certain way, be altruistic, etc, etc.
I’m sure it works for a lot of people. But I also hear a lot of people say he or she isn’t the same person I met years into a relationship. Perhaps it’s often because so much effort is put into wooing and isn’t really sustainable long term…like for decades.
You left out being 6'2" and a yacht owner. Come on. Most men are average and average women don't want them. Your list is a Capitalism wet dream. We all can't be Tom Brady.
Well that’s sort of a given…but even people with terrible personalities can put on a front and take someone off the market for many years if they otherwise seem appealing.
Idk. The last place I lived was primarily a military town with two military bases. Needless to say, there were plenty of men with decent jobs who were reasonably fit, but as a whole women said the dating market was atrocious. Just the worst. Why? A lot of the men were sexist and weren’t interested in women with careers or interests of their own. For the most part, these were women 30+ who weren’t going after the younger, newly enlisted folks. It was 100% a personality issue from the women’s perspective.
You left out being 6'2" and a yacht owner. Come on. Most men are average and average women don't want them. Your list is a Capitalism wet dream. We all can't be Tom Brady.
I don’t think some women will come out and say they want it specifically, but when filtering through an endless amount of online profiles/messages I think there will be certain characteristics that stand out to them. The average looking guy whose 20lbs over weight, works at Walmart and rarely does anything fancy probably gets passed over quite a bit even though he has a decent personality and goes to work everyday.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
