Why do women invent phantom boyfriends? (honest, attract, like, approach)
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It's not necessarily you. There's plenty of instances where a woman finds herself confronted by a guy that doesn't know how to handle rejection. If she doesn't know you from any of the others, she may just take certain precautions.
The OP wants to better understand why a woman will tell him she has a boyfriend when that's not true. Wouldn't the World of Dating be better served if men and women more honest?
Now, I'll go out on a limb and say: There are women who realize no matter how honest they answer there are men who simply won't accept it. They'll try to keep the conversation going hoping to change her mind. Which probably turns off the woman even more and leaves her annoyed or worse.
Best play for the OP is to say, "O.k." and leave it at that. No quip or cute remarks.
If nothing else he may actually score a point or two with the woman for showing he takes rejection with class.
The OP wants to better understand why a woman will tell him she has a boyfriend when that's not true. Wouldn't the World of Dating be better served if men and women more honest?
Now, I'll go out on a limb and say: There are women who realize no matter how honest they answer there are men who simply won't accept it. They'll try to keep the conversation going hoping to change her mind. Which probably turns off the woman even more and leaves her annoyed or worse.
Best play for the OP is to say, "O.k." and leave it at that. No quip or cute remarks.
If nothing else he may actually score a point or two with the woman for showing he takes rejection with class.
And WHY is that?
Is it because that those men know that THEY themselves are not being honest in the first place?
Even if a man was 'honest' and came right out and said to a woman, "I want to have sex with you", how many women would say, "Sure! O.k.! Fine! Let's run behind that 7-11 and get it on!"
Is it because that those men know that THEY themselves are not being honest in the first place?
Even if a man was 'honest' and came right out and said to a woman, "I want to have sex with you", how many women would say, "Sure! O.k.! Fine! Let's run behind that 7-11 and get it on!"
Women aren't stupid to men's ploys to get sex.
Because some men believe if they come up with the right words or secret sauce so to speak the woman will change her mind and agree to go out with them. Which of course rarely works
Women aren't stupid to men's ploys to get sex
It has nothing to do with being stupid. If a woman wants to go out with a man she'll say yes. And if there is no chemistry that's usually the end of it. No more dates.
Because some men believe if they come up with the right words or secret sauce so to speak the woman will change her mind and agree to go out with them. Which of course rarely works
Women aren't stupid to men's ploys to get sex
It has nothing to do with being stupid. If a woman wants to go out with a man she'll say yes. And if there is no chemistry that's usually the end of it. No more dates.
Excuse me, but..."go OUT" with them?" Most men don't want to "go out" with women. They want to "go out" with women HOPING that it will lead to having sex with said woman. Hopefully within between 1 and 3 times of "going out" with her.
How many posts do we get here, from men, who complain, "Gee, we went out ONCE or TWICE or THRICE and she hasn't 'put out' yet!"
Sorry, but getting a woman to "put out" is the motivation for a LOT of men to ask her out in the first place.
Excuse me, but..."go OUT" with them?" Most men don't want to "go out" with women. They want to "go out" with women HOPING that it will lead to having sex with said woman. Hopefully within between 1 and 3 times of "going out" with her.
How many posts do we get here, from men, who complain, "Gee, we went out ONCE or TWICE or THRICE and she hasn't 'put out' yet!"
Sorry, but getting a woman to "put out" is the motivation for a LOT of men to ask her out in the first place.
And women aren't stupid!
Yes, when I asked a woman out getting her to bed was on my mind. But I was also aware if I came across as too pushy most women wouldn't like it. It takes two to tangle.
Excuse me, but..."go OUT" with them?" Most men don't want to "go out" with women. They want to "go out" with women HOPING that it will lead to having sex with said woman. Hopefully within between 1 and 3 times of "going out" with her.
How many posts do we get here, from men, who complain, "Gee, we went out ONCE or TWICE or THRICE and she hasn't 'put out' yet!"
Sorry, but getting a woman to "put out" is the motivation for a LOT of men to ask her out in the first place.
And women aren't stupid!
Which isn't much different than not understanding why a woman will use a phantom boyfriend. If all a man wants is to get laid a woman (or at least a woman with dating experience) usually picks up on it. And if a man doesn't realize this and keeps pushing the woman may decline to go out with him again
So... how long does it take to get a woman into bed? There were never any set rules in my experience. Sometimes (but rare) the first night and sometimes never. If we didn't hit it off after a few dates that was the end. The relationship never advanced to the bedroom.
Yes, when I asked a woman out getting her to bed was on my mind.
And there you have it. And most women know this. Most guys don't approach women and say, "sleep with me." And most women don't respond, "No, I don't want to sleep with you." Instead, it comes out like, "I want to go out with you." And her response is, "I have a boyfriend", whether she does or doesn't.
Hint, hint. Seems like the "politically correct" way to invite a woman to bed is to ask her out. And the politically correct way to turn him down is to say, "I have a boyfriend", whether it's true or not.
The OP seems to believe that if women were honest about their rejection, that everything would be fine. And that's not the case. After all, if MEN were honest in their approach, do you think it would 'up their chances' of having sex? Probably not.
Quote:
But I was also aware if I came across as too pushy most women wouldn't like it. It takes two to tangle.
Which isn't much different than not understanding why a woman will use a phantom boyfriend. If all a man wants is to get laid a woman (or at least a woman with dating experience) usually picks up on it. And if a man doesn't realize this and keeps pushing the woman may decline to go out with him again
So... how long does it take to get a woman into bed? There were never any set rules in my experience. Sometimes (but rare) the first night and sometimes never. If we didn't hit it off after a few dates that was the end. The relationship never advanced to the bedroom.
But that's kind of the point. No, she doesn't want to sleep with you, But instead of saying that, she invents the whole "boyfriend" thing.
It's this little game played between sexes. He wants to sleep with her, but instead of coming right out and saying it (because he knows that if he did, he'd destroy his chances), he asks her out. She KNOWS his game, so instead of saying, "No, I don't want to sleep with you", her go-to move is, "I have a boyfriend." MOST of the time, it works.
Personally, I've only used that once or twice. I know I've use it once. As for twice, I'm still foggy on that. But the one time I'm sure of, I used it because the guy was getting pushy. My saying, "No thanks" wasn't good enough for him. It was only after I said, "I have a boyfriend" that he backed off.
Why couldn't he have just taken 'no thanks' for an answer in the first place?
And there you have it. And most women know this. Most guys don't approach women and say, "sleep with me." And most women don't respond, "No, I don't want to sleep with you." Instead, it comes out like, "I want to go out with you." And her response is, "I have a boyfriend", whether she does or doesn't.
Hint, hint. Seems like the "politically correct" way to invite a woman to bed is to ask her out. And the politically correct way to turn him down is to say, "I have a boyfriend", whether it's true or not.
The OP seems to believe that if women were honest about their rejection, that everything would be fine. And that's not the case. After all, if MEN were honest in their approach, do you think it would 'up their chances' of having sex? Probably not.
So? Attraction is usually a big part for both men and women. It works both ways.
But I wouldn't go out with a woman for very long if I didn't like her personality and I'm sure the women I dated felt the same about me.
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