Very confusing actions in new relationship - advice?

[sm0key]

Dang, you're further along then I'll ever be. I can't even get up to the plate, much less reach first base.

[MercedesBoy]

Originally Posted by JustCallMeAnonymous

Hello, I am a somewhat older male having a situation that I've not experienced before, and I'm wondering if anyone has feedback (especially females that may have been in the situation of the girl I'm dating, that maybe can tell me what was going through your mind).

I have been on 4 dates with a girl I really like, and they all go amazingly well and we hit it off every time. She openly uses "future talk", as in "we should go there sometime," or "maybe we can try that place". That's all well and good, but in between dates (which are about a week apart so far), she almost never texts or calls. If I text her, she does not move the conversation forward - she keeps it to short answers that really don't call for any reply...and if I do reply, I feel like I'm looking needy since it doesn't seem like she is looking for a reply.

I won't go into her personal life, but she is an extremely busy person, much busier than I am and I would say busier than most people...and so I understand that can be part of it for sure. However, I have always been under the impression that if you're really into someone, you will make time to at least reach out and say "thinking of you", or "how's your day?", or at least make some sort of an effort. To add to the confusion, I have yet to get any type of major flirting on in person dates, and zero on calls or texts. Yes, there have been some very short kisses/pecks, handholding, etc. - but not much.

SO here's the question - I'm pretty positive she's interested at this point, especially since she keeps suggesting places to go. I'm 90% certain she isn't dating anyone else (but not 100%). I don't think she would have time, and on top of that, as far as I know I have hung out with her on every free day or at least we've tried to make plans on every free day. So, why is she so distant/hesitant to show any type of affection or positive feedback?

It sounds like she just does not want to become involved too quickly. She wants to play it cool, if it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't. She doesn't want to put much energy into it right away.

Far as it working out long term, only she knows. She might decide she just does not feel that spark or maybe she does. All you can do is wait.