Could it be more than a hookup? (dates, how to, married)
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As you conveyed- He did cancel on his friends to be with you. Maybe he needed some guy time for the weekend and chose to do such.
We don't know.
The possibility that he also may have needed the "cooling" off maybe a consideration to ponder.
Met the type that sincerely have to back off a bit, not that they don't want the relationship but man are they in a conundrum of balancing their freedom and attempting to maneuver a relationship.
I'd suggest to go about your days, with a brief text saying you hope to see him in the near future, if schedules permit. That gives him a nudge that you are understanding of his time and still are interested. Which you seem to be...based on what I read anyways....
Well he hasn’t backed off really. He is just in same pattern of the asking to hang out every other week. Like i know he will msg this week to do something. I almost feel like he did want to hang this weekend but he’s keeping me at a distance. Just not sure if it’s because he doesn’t want anything serious or because he doesn’t think I want anything serious.
I’ve kinda just been going with the flow this whole time. Msging him as much as he msgs me.
Maybe he noticed that you're getting attached and possibly want more. That's why he took a step back.
Hook-up is sex and not complications or drama.
You saw him 6x and know nothing about him.
You're 37 y.o. Why are you wasting your time on hook-ups if you want more??
I guess it just feels like the lines are getting blurred between hookup and more. When we hang out or go out we talk for hours. He doesn’t just come over for sex and leave.
It started out fine. I’m not in a rush for a relationship but I guess I have the problem of getting emotionally attached the longer I see someone. I realized I can’t hookup with someone long term I am not into. I either develop feelings or I'm over it.
It’s normal to have feelings for someone you’re seeing. Why not? However, it probably shouldn’t be a long term thing. You’re in different places in your lives. Enjoy it for what it is but don’t make too much of it.
Think of it this way: you may enjoy a massage or beauty treatment, but you’re not going to marry one. Once he’s gone, he’ll be providing his spa services elsewhere.
You’d be better off shoring up the other aspects of your life while reminding yourself this is temporary.
It’s normal to have feelings for someone you’re seeing. Why not? However, it probably shouldn’t be a long term thing. You’re in different places in your lives. Enjoy it for what it is but don’t make too much of it.
Think of it this way: you may enjoy a massage or beauty treatment, but you’re not going to marry one. Once he’s gone, he’ll be providing his spa services elsewhere.
You’d be better off shoring up the other aspects of your life while reminding yourself this is temporary.
This is a good way to put it ! Yea I have been really enjoying it but don’t want to end up hurt. I am still dating and have other dates lined up in the meantime. Think I’ll just step back a bit and see what happens.
This is a good way to put it ! Yea I have been really enjoying it but don’t want to end up hurt. I am still dating and have other dates lined up in the meantime. Think I’ll just step back a bit and see what happens.
For younger guys, it's going to take a long time for them to come around to the level of commitment it takes to be a father figure to a pre-teen age child in a serious marriage-bound type relationship. There is no way I was ready for that at 23 from a maturity standpoint. I didn't have kids until I was 31, so my son wasn't your son's age until I was at least 40. This is one you're going to have to go with the flow for a long while before he might be ready to make a full commitment. That's not to say it won't happen, but you have to keep reasonable expectations on your timeline for it.
For younger guys, it's going to take a long time for them to come around to the level of commitment it takes to be a father figure to a pre-teen age child in a serious marriage-bound type relationship. There is no way I was ready for that at 23 from a maturity standpoint. I didn't have kids until I was 31, so my son wasn't your son's age until I was at least 40. This is one you're going to have to go with the flow for a long while before he might be ready to make a full commitment. That's not to say it won't happen, but you have to keep reasonable expectations on your timeline for it.
I know I completely agree. I talk to him about my son a lot but I know he doesn’t get it. If I tell him he’s sick he will ask how he is but other than that he doesn’t really ask about my son. I don’t take offense. He just is young.
Just having trouble deciding if I should step back from this before I end up really hurt. Like we talk too much for a hookup. We msg all day. He just msg me about his night and that he hopes I have a nice Monday. I tell him more about my life than my friends. Has been a really nice companion to have just worried I’m setting myself up to be let down.
No, it sounds like it is still casual to him. I'm sorry.
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When I was 20, I remember a 31 year old woman really liking me. When I'd come to my hometown on holidays and summers, I would run into her. She was very pretty, had a child, and I really enjoyed our casual relationship / friendship. At the end of the day, I did view her as too "old" for me. I wouldn't be surprised if this guy does have some type of feelings for you, but I doubt he views you as the long term plan.
If you feel yourself getting attached, now might be a good time to start putting some distance between the two of you. I wish you luck.
Ugh I know. Should I start distancing myself ? Cutting back on msgs? I don’t even know if he’s even been in a relationship. We haven’t had that convo either. Sucks I don’t want to lose the companionship.
I would not confess feelings. Why not just enjoy what you have going on, for just what it is. Clearly you like each other, but just enjoy 'this' for...THIS. Why cut back? Why stop messaging?
When you have free weekends, call a girlfriend and make plans. If he calls, stick to your plans with your friend(s). I'm of the opinion that guys LIKE it when we show them we have a life outside of them. You'll feel better about it too.
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