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Even my husband confirms it has. I'm wondering if there's some truth to what he and others are saying. Several people keep claiming there aren't too many decent men or women. I find it hard to believe that.
My husband used a couple analogies of what he felt it was like finding me. He says it was the same as if finding the Amazon river (pink colored) dolphin, a currently endangered species that can one day become extinct in the wild or discovering the lost hidden diamond in large piles of coals and debris. I was 21 (now 25) when we met and he thought it was rare for a woman at that age to still be a virgin; he thought that was the equivalent of finding the Lochness Monster or some old dinosaur brought back to life. I wanted to make it a virgin till the wedding but I got tempted and we did it during our engagement.
Seriously? Has it become that bad for others? Being a normal loyal person is hard to find??? A woman waiting out of choice is rare??? Is there some truth to all this? It can't be that bad for others or has it really become that horrible???
Even my husband confirms it has. I'm wondering if there's some truth to what he and others are saying. Several people keep claiming there aren't too many decent men or women. I find it hard to believe that.
My husband used a couple analogies of what he felt it was like finding me. He says it was the same as if finding the Amazon river (pink colored) dolphin, a currently endangered species that can one day become extinct in the wild or discovering the lost hidden diamond in large piles of coals and debris. I was 21 (now 25) when we met and he thought it was rare for a woman at that age to still be a virgin; he thought that was the equivalent of finding the Lochness Monster or some old dinosaur brought back to life. I wanted to make it a virgin till the wedding but I got tempted and we did it during our engagement.
Seriously? Has it become that bad for others? Being a normal loyal person is hard to find??? A woman waiting out of choice is rare??? Is there some truth to all this? It can't be that bad for others or has it really become that horrible???
I think what has changed mostly is online dating. Instead of a pool of people that you know and encounter on a daily basis you can have everyone that's on the same app within the city that you live in even other cities even other countries set the parameters that far.
But this does is make people that you don't have a chance with seem gettable. And there's always a better looking more attractive person out there so it might be a fear of missing out.
Be glad you are where you are. I dated a couple people before I met my person.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SocialBeeSarah
Seriously? Has it become that bad for others? Being a normal loyal person is hard to find??? A woman waiting out of choice is rare??? Is there some truth to all this? It can't be that bad for others or has it really become that horrible???
IMO, it’s maturity. AND a lot of ppl are jaded or insecure, but there are loyal ppl that want a committed relationship who are healthy & stable. You have to be healthy & stable to attract them tho. Usually those ppl are older, like my husband who was in his early 40s when we met. I’m early 30s. We’ve been married a little over 2 yrs. I feel super lucky.
BUT…because the more emotionally mature relationships are usually with ppl who are older, it would be weird & a red flag if they were virgins. You should expect them to be sexually healthy tho. Is that what you were saying with “a woman waiting out of choice is rare”....a virgin?
There are plenty of decent people. I don't think being a virgin for either a man or woman is what makes them decent.
You didn't wait until you were married, OP. Does that make you lesser? Indecent? What if the engagement was broken? Would you have no longer been a decent woman?
Was your husband also a virgin or does he have a double standard regarding women?
I believe so too. We met by random chance at a supermarket. I was suppose to visit an arts museum with a female friend but she stood me up. So I had to return home but decided to stop by to the supermarket and the rest is history. I've never created an online profile when I was single.
It's funny how things work out in life sometimes. When you're not investing too much energy to search for something nor become obsessed with finding the one, you find it without looking. Yeah I wasn't going to be found online.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh
IMO, it’s maturity. AND a lot of ppl are jaded or insecure, but there are loyal ppl that want a committed relationship who are healthy & stable. You have to be healthy & stable to attract them tho. Usually those ppl are older, like my husband who was in his early 40s when we met. I’m early 30s. We’ve been married a little over 2 yrs. I feel super lucky.
BUT…because the more emotionally mature relationships are usually with ppl who are older, it would be weird & a red flag if they were virgins. You should expect them to be sexually healthy tho. Is that what you were saying with “a woman waiting out of choice is rare”....a virgin?
My husband is only 3 years older than me though. So some people mature faster than others?
There are plenty of decent people. I don't think being a virgin for either a man or woman is what makes them decent.
You didn't wait until you were married, OP. Does that make you lesser? Indecent? What if the engagement was broken? Would you have no longer been a decent woman?
Was your husband also a virgin or does he have a double standard regarding women?
He isn't but I was his 2nd gf at the time. When we met, it has been several months since he ended a long-term relationship. He wouldn't have mind if I wasn't a virgin but he wouldn't be comfortable with the other extreme either. Though it's not really about double standards but rather he doesn't have a history of casual hook-ups; his only relationships are the long-term ex gf and then me.
If the engagement was broken then I would've been heartbroken for a while, perhaps take a break from dating and feel as if my time was wasted for nothing. Don't get me wrong, after we did it (the night after Christmas) I felt some guilt for not following through my promise. As a kid, I made a promise to make it a virgin as my father is walking me down the aisle, that old-fashioned manner. I felt guilt for days, as if I disappointed myself but then got over it.
What on earth does virginity have to do with forming a loving, committed relationship? Seriously. Please explain the connection. In detail.
To my husband, I'm the combination of everything; assertive, committed, loyal, serious, loving, supportive, hardworker, etc. Being a virgin was basically the cherry on top. He thought it was rarer for me to still be a virgin at age 21. At his school and his surrounding, both girls and boys already had sex ages 16-18 and at times even a bit younger.
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