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I was just going to point that out, don’t any of you live in a small town? Everybody knows everyone else’s business and kids hear everything! That’s nothing new. I know a couple in my small town and the guy is in his twenties and the woman is in her forties.He is single, never been married and no kids. She has been divorced, has adult children, and has grandchildren too. Everyone in town is talking about it, and you can’t tell me the kids don’t eavesdrop on the adults conversations.
I've lived in small towns but the only time I remember kids commenting on relationships were times in high school when teachers started dating each other. There has to be more to the story here.
Hmmm.... Maybe it's a really small town? But still, even if the adults in town "know about" the OP & company, how would kids know?
(Random family sitting around the dinner table.) Wife pipes up and announces that when she and husband were having date night they saw OP in the same restaurant being all lovey dovey with each other. "Isn't she still married?"
Jake, their 16 year old son says " I see them all the time when they drop her son off. They're always slobbering all over each other." Mom says "That's disgusting! " Dad says "Lucky guy! Tapping that piece of ass! I bet she's teaching him all kinds of tricks!"
Mom pipes up again and announces OP is a ****, and Jake is there for it, soaking it all in.
And then the conversation shifts to how Jake is doing on the varsity team and the outrageous cost of ground beef in the store.
I live in a small town and hear this sort of gossip all the time. There is no way a 37 year old is going to date a 26 year old and not get talked about. They may not have the "right" but people are going to talk.
Maybe our 37 year old should find another boyfriend. It would certainly be in the 12 year-old best interest - as in, "I can't date you because I have a 12 year old". That, I think, is a perfectly valid reason for looking elsewhere.
(Random family sitting around the dinner table.) Wife pipes up and announces that when she and husband were having date night they saw OP in the same restaurant being all lovey dovey with each other. "Isn't she still married?"
Jake, their 16 year old son says " I see them all the time when they drop her son off. They're always slobbering all over each other." Mom says "That's disgusting! " Dad says "Lucky guy! Tapping that piece of ass! I bet she's teaching him all kinds of tricks!"
Mom pipes up again and announces OP is a ****, and Jake is there for it, soaking it all in.
And then the conversation shifts to how Jake is doing on the varsity team and the outrageous cost of ground beef in the store.
I just stopped by to tell the OP that I am 45, my husband is 30 and we are very happy. Anyone that tries to talk about us or call me a cougar gets shut down real quick. I don't stand for that.
FWIW, we don't have kids and we don't live in a small town. I do, however, teach high school and (after establishing relationships) will often tell my students about our age gap. I don't make a big deal about it and neither do they. Nobody cares.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with one person, whether it be the man or the woman being 10 or 15 or 20 years or more older than the other person. And you are right that it is no one's business but yours and your boyfriend/possible future husband.
The high school bullies just asked if the guy who comes along with me to drop my son off is his dad , and when my son said no , they just started bullying him.
You might "feel" that way but that doesn't mean people won't talk in spite of your feelings.
And the most notorious talkers when it comes to sex are high school boys, still half children themselves in the grip of hormones. Of course they're going to make lewd comments.
Doesn't make it right, I'm sorry your son had to endure their vulgar abuse, but as they say, that's life.
And in this life discretion is the better part of valor.
Is the double standard fair? No. Is it there? Yes.
As a 37 yo adult you should be aware of this. I can completely understand your dislike of anything but full disclosure of your relationship out in the open but I'm sure you went to middle school (the worst time in life for giggling about sex) and high school. I remember how I felt, I was absolutely sure my parents knew nothing about it.
Never mind I knew how babies were made, etc, young teenage is an irrational time of life, the most volatile time emotionally of our whole lives. And your son is living through it.
Do him a favor, use a little discretion when picking him up and dropping him off at school.
Thanks for the advice.
And you are absolutely right , the boys can not be stopped to make lewd comments . I have to make my son stronger to ignore the mean kids.
High school kids are going to the same school as your son? Did they flunk several times or is your son really smart? How are they in the same school? Did any of this get reported to the school? Also, shouldn't you wait until you're divorced to date? That doesn't seem healthy.
Well here the campus is common for school kids.
No I did not report them to school.
As I mentioned I have been separated for 7 years now and practically divorced. I am not sure why is it unhealthy to have a Boyfriend who supports me emotionally , is great with my son , respects me for who I am and sexually satisfies me and keeps me sane.
Is your boyfriend seen at the school alot? Why is your dating life being talked about at school and who's doing the talking? I'm less concerned about who you sleep with and more concerned about the bullying towards your son. How does your son feel about your boyfriend?
My boyfriend visits school with me whenever he can . Helps him bond well with my son.
Why is my dating life being talked about at school ? Well as I said I have been seen with my boyfriend while waiting for my son during pick up or after drop off . Some of the high school kids may have noticed us and were just making fun and teasing my son.
Thanks for your concern for my son and my friend is OK with me having a boyfriend.
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