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oh for sure. I mean when it comes to dating someone new. If they are separated - that should be enough.
I disagree. I was dating someone years ago and found he was still married, but had been estranged from his wife for years. It was part of the reason I ended the relationship. But good for him, because it finally motivated him to actually get divorced so he could move on with his life and wouldn't have this issue w/ the next woman.
I disagree. I was dating someone years ago and found he was still married, but had been estranged from his wife for years. It was part of the reason I ended the relationship. But good for him, because it finally motivated him to actually get divorced so he could move on with his life and wouldn't have this issue w/ the next woman.
okay, you have your right to disagree.
There must have been a reason for him to not get divorced other than just not wanting to deal with it. And possibly money reasons and then he was pushed to get divorced because people like you don't want to date him. And it may cost him $$$$$$$$$$$$$$ that it would not have cost him if he would have waited a little longer.
I did not get divorced for a long time for financial reasons.
oh for sure. I mean when it comes to dating someone new. If they are separated - that should be enough.
It can be expensive to get divorced, some stay married for a long time to avoid the costs. I don't see it as cheating if they date someone new.
I agree. Most often separation is just purgatory until the divorce is final, the marriage has essentially already ended.
I do believe in full disclosure though.
I find the responses by the OP, Rabbit and Mares to be reprehensible. This is a very telling thread if it is not all a trolling hoax on the rest of us. My favorite recent posts... / sarc
He's 12. He's being harassed by highschool age kids. Should we wait for a physical attack and injury.
It's not that OP is dating or how soon after the previous relationships. It's HOW she's going about it (Decorum, Reserved, Mannerly, Sensitive to children, etc.) and HOW it is affecting a 12 year old.
TLDR for newcomers. BEHOLD the Anything Goes Modern Western Woman and her Enablers!
I really don't care if you find my response reprehensible.
There is a difference between physical violence and verbal ridiculing. They are kids, kids can be mean. This has been going on forever. Kids also have to learn how to deal in the real world and the real world is full of mean people.
BTW I also said: becomes too emotional/psychological issue.
I think the OP is dealing with it. I'm not sure what exactly you think she needs to do other than talk with her son about the situation and let him know she loves him and is there for him.
I really don't care if you find my response reprehensible.
There is a difference between physical violence and verbal ridiculing. They are kids, kids can be mean. This has been going on forever. Kids also have to learn how to deal in the real world and the real world is full of mean people.
BTW I also said: becomes too emotional/psychological issue.
I think the OP is dealing with it. I'm not sure what exactly you think she needs to do other than talk with her son about the situation and let him know she loves him and is there for him.
I think Savonarola there believes she should ditch the boyfriend because her son's classmates teased him about mom's boyfriend. Her "sin"-in-his-eyes of dating someone younger (horrors!) is compounded by the fact that although the husband's long gone, they haven't formalized a divorce.
Our own little Cotton Mather also doesn't know the meaning of the phrase "the age of discretion" - I suppose I should have tailored my vocabulary to his level, sorry, my bad. Hint: "the age of discretion" doesn't have to do with conducting oneself circumspectly.
Maybe she should enter a convent till the divorce is final? Maybe she shouldn't date at all till the boy's 18? Maybe she should put her whole life on hold until her son tells her she can proceed with it? Maybe the son should convene a conference of his classmates and submit for their approval each man who asks his mother on a date?
Maybe the son should till his classmates to go pound sand and mind their own damn business, his mother's a grown woman and she's not available for discussion?
There must have been a reason for him to not get divorced other than just not wanting to deal with it. And possibly money reasons and then he was pushed to get divorced because people like you don't want to date him. And it may cost him $$$$$$$$$$$$$$ that it would not have cost him if he would have waited a little longer.
I did not get divorced for a long time for financial reasons.
I think Savonarola there believes she should ditch the boyfriend because her son's classmates teased him about mom's boyfriend. Her "sin"-in-his-eyes of dating someone younger (horrors!) is compounded by the fact that although the husband's long gone, they haven't formalized a divorce.
Our own little Cotton Mather also doesn't know the meaning of the phrase "the age of discretion" - I suppose I should have tailored my vocabulary to his level, sorry, my bad. Hint: "the age of discretion" doesn't have to do with conducting oneself circumspectly.
Maybe she should enter a convent till the divorce is final? Maybe she shouldn't date at all till the boy's 18? Maybe she should put her whole life on hold until her son tells her she can proceed with it? Maybe the son should convene a conference of his classmates and submit for their approval each man who asks his mother on a date?
Maybe the son should till his classmates to go pound sand and mind their own damn business, his mother's a grown woman and she's not available for discussion?
What do I know, I'm just Modern Western Woman, twice divorced and raised two sons on my own.
Women have lives (and sex) post-divorce or separation. Kids get teased. It does not make them a bad person or a bad mother. Sa la vie.
Maybe she should enter a convent till the divorce is final? Maybe she shouldn't date at all till the boy's 18? Maybe she should put her whole life on hold until her son tells her she can proceed with it? Maybe the son should convene a conference of his classmates and submit for their approval each man who asks his mother on a date?
I think there is a healthy middle ground between being entirely lacking in consideration of your family and letting their wants, whims and needs totally dictate your decisions when it comes to one's romantic life but we don't really live in an era of middle ground now do we?
However, now I am 37 and dating a 26 year old guy since past 8 months, people judge me and think i am a cougar.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rabbit33
Maybe the son should till his classmates to go pound sand and mind their own damn business, his mother's a grown woman and she's not available for discussion?
Too funny. I find it difficult to believe high-school kids are going to know (or care) the age of a guy a 12 year-old kid’s mom is dating. That said, if they do, it had to have come from the kid himself; and, really, it’s an odd thing for the mother to even bring up to him. I mean, seriously, tell them she is not available for discussion, lol? Why not just have the kid laugh and tell the losers it’s hilarious it matters to them (rather than focusing on a social life of their own). A little common sense can go a long way.
OP, it sounds as though you aren’t confident/comfortable in your relationship if you allow what others think to concern you and/or you’re always talking about the guy’s age.
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Not my problem
