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I guess the world has changed. In my day, making nasty comments about someone's mother was a good way to get a 2 x 4 upside the head.
There was also a time when "yo momma" jokes were funny and taken in stride.
These day kids cant joke and they cant fight.
The powers that be want them to go to a "safe place" or crying room, file a formal complaint and get therapy.
Exactly. So we're supposed to feel sorry for someone who actively refuses to sign the papers because they are profiting from staying married? I don't care how long it's been since they say they left the relationship, they are still married. Period.
Too funny. I find it difficult to believe high-school kids are going to know (or care) the age of a guy a 12 year-old kid’s mom is dating. That said, if they do, it had to have come from the kid himself; and, really, it’s an odd thing for the mother to even bring up to him. I mean, seriously, tell them she is not available for discussion, lol? Why not just have the kid laugh and tell the losers it’s hilarious it matters to them (rather than focusing on a social life of their own). A little common sense can go a long way.
OP, it sounds as though you aren’t confident/comfortable in your relationship if you allow what others think to concern you and/or you’re always talking about the guy’s age.
I dont know if the OP lives in a small town, but if so, people know stuff. Kids know stuff.
When my grand was that age his mother was dating an ex con. He looked and acted the part. Nasty guy.
She would send him pick up the grand after ball games sometimes and the kids would see this and ask questions about him including "is that your dad". They would also see his mother yelling at her baby daddy (the grand's half sister's dad) outside the school and ask questions. This was just before the grand came to live with me.
Thankfully the other kids were kind and not bullies. Of course, some of them had similar dysfunctional situations of their own.
So, to me mom dating a younger man is like big whoop, providing he isn't a nasty, tatted up, druggie, ex con. And mom (OP) dosen't strike me as a narcissistic, vindictive, manipulative, crazy, screaming banshee like my grands mother.
There's apparently a lot of people bored and off work this week, because there have been a number of ridiculous stories posted here lately.
Common sense shouldn’t go out the window just because it’s the holidays, you’re bored or have a few extra minutes of time on your hands, lol. That said, folks love to make an issue/gossip re: relationship age gaps in this forum and spin it in all sorts of ways. It’s hilarious (as a man who is in a committed relationship with a younger woman).
In the OP’s case, she’s the source of her own problem as no one would (even) know the age of the guy she’s dating if she didn’t talk about it or ‘double standards’, heh.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares
I dont know if the OP lives in a small town, but if so, people know stuff. Kids know stuff.
I don’t think where she lives is OP’s issue. ;-)
Last edited by CorporateCowboy; 12-22-2023 at 08:29 AM..
Reason: added quote/response
If you're in the U.S., we have freedom of speech (sorta, kinda these days). So people can express their opinions whether or not someone else agrees w/ them. Personally, I have no problem w/ a 37 year old woman dating a 26 year old guy, and I wouldn't even see a problem if he was 16. That is every teenage boy's fantasy anyway, and not mentioning any names here, I know more than a few instances when that occurred, although "dating' is not exactly the right word.
People are going to think and say what they want to think and say, we have no control over that. However, we don't have to react to it, and we should be aware that each situation may need to be worked out in a different manner depending on that situation. I'm a proud, very liberal Southerner who has no problems w/ our rebel flag that the lunatic PC far left has attempted to demonize. But that doesn't mean I'm going to walk through the middle of Detroit or Chicago's South Side waving it :-)
Horses for courses and it just comes w/ the territory. If I worried about people's reaction to what I said or did I would be putting myself in jail mentally, and not expressing my freedom of thought and speech. I will never compromise on that, but I know that each situation is going to be different too, so what may be inappropriate in one area may be fine in another. That's just common sense, something this society seems to have totally lost. If most people didn't have FOX News or PPS to tell them what to think or believe they would be paralyzed.
Last edited by stephenMM; 12-22-2023 at 01:03 PM..
The high school bullies just asked if the guy who comes along with me to drop my son off is his dad , and when my son said no , they just started bullying him.
This is irrational for the high school bullies to use that as an argument for bullying. Given the sheer volume of divorce and infidelity in society, your son is very likely not the ONLY student in the HS with DIVORCED or SEPARATED parents. Why are they picking on your son as if he is the only student with a divorcing mom dating a new guy? It doesn't add up.
When I was in HS, I deal with horrible physical and verbal abuse on the HS wrestling team. As a naive teen, I thought it was "normal". But years later I learned about hazing and realized it defined HS wrestling of that time (1980s). It was also illegal and a blatant form of child abuse on the part of the coach who enabled (and even encouraged) the criminal hazing.
So, why were they hazing? The answers were (1) blatant racism against me, a Native American and (2) the coach was very dysfunctional. He eventually got fired for something else.
As for the "hazers" and "bullies", they each faced karma at various points. One of them tore his knee badly in football practice and cried badly while writhing in pain as his career was essentially ended by that injury. The agony was hard to watch even though many at the time would have thought he deserved it. The mood swings he expressed that day also highly suggested CTE brain trauma. The guy had been a horrible bully in the style of Cobra Kai. There was one football game where he had a concussion and briefly lost his eyesight.
Another bully died from COVID-19 a few years ago. He and his brother and dad all died from it. Both those guys had been tournament champions and all-state athletes - the wrestling versions of "Cobra Kai". But their glory years are long gone and the injuries ended it quickly back in the 80s/early 90s. It's also very common for HS wrestling champions to fail badly at the college level and never replicate the success. Even in rare cases when they do, they can still go on to lose badly in UFC. Notable examples include Brock Lesner (NCAA DI heavyweight champion) who was pummeled by Cain Velasquez (who himself was beaten badly later) and Ben Askren who apparently holds the record for being knocked out the fastests in UFC despite having a stellar collegiate wrestling record. Askren had to have hip replacement.
In summary, the bullying probably has deeper reasons. For them to pick on a kid just because the mom is getting divorced and dating a new guy seems false because such situations are very common. If you look at reddit posts, teaching is one of the professions where infidelity is very common (like nurses and physicians or allied health in hospitals). So, there are likely teachers having full-blown affairs in that HS. I would be suspicious on the deeper reasons for the bullying.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with one person, whether it be the man or the woman being 10 or 15 or 20 years or more older than the other person. And you are right that it is no one's business but yours and your boyfriend/possible future husband.
I'm sorry your son was bullied at school.
I don’t know dude it depends on the age of both parties
I’m 43 if I dated a 23 year old that would be pretty creepy
I don’t even have anything in common with women in their early 20’s and they still look like kids to me.
I cant imagine in high school me or anyone I know would care who someone else’s mother was dating at the time and we especially wouldn’t care about an age difference
Besides when you’re in high school both 26 and 37 sounds old to you lol
I can’t imagine this is a big to do with high school kids.. but I grew up in NYC are people in small towns that bored?
I don’t know dude it depends on the age of both parties
I’m 43 if I dated a 23 year old that would be pretty creepy
I don’t even have anything in common with women in their early 20’s and they still look like kids to me.
That's your opinion, but the age difference is totally irrelevant and is strictly a matter between the two people involved in the relationship despite what others may think about it. There are many marriages between people with large age differences.
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Not my problem
