37 Year old woman dating 26 year old guy (boyfriends, casual, conversation)
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Yes, there is absolutely a double standard re men vs. women dating younger. That's also changing, but slowly. You do you. It's nobody's business that you're 37 and dating 26--nobody!
That said, it absolutely is your parental responsibility to behave and conduct yourself in a manner, in ALL areas of your life, that will cause no or minimal damage to your minor child/children. Your minor child's well being should always take priority above your desires--always.
As you rightly said it's nobody's business whom I date.
I also understand that its my responsibility for wellbeing of my son and to to have minimal level of PDA while "fulfilling all personal desires" away from prying eyes.
Op - I’m sorry to hear of these punks bullying your son.
I always stood up to bullies in grade school because my friend would always get picked on and bullied by boys and one mean girl. I always got in the bullies face and said STOP IT ! YOU’RE BEING MEAN ! Be nice to people.
This was a time period when bullying wasn’t talked about and kids had to fend for themselves. Bullies are insecure and are miserable people.
I suggest your son take karate not necessarily to fight but it gives kids self esteem and if needed he would have some idea how to protect himself.
In Rocky 4 or 5 the son gets bullied at school and the bully takes his coat so he went back shortly after to get his coat from the bully and threw a punch and got the bully on the ground and got his coat back !
Of course, no one wants to resort to fist fighting, however, if a kid is coming at another kid ready to punch the other kid better know what to do.
Last edited by bellamax2; 01-13-2024 at 07:44 PM..
As you rightly said it's nobody's business whom I date.
I also understand that its my responsibility for wellbeing of my son and to to have minimal level of PDA while "fulfilling all personal desires" away from prying eyes.
I think people who expect you not to date or have a sex life just because you have a kid or are separated are a bit fusty-kooky. Nowhere is it written that single parents cannot have significant others, and for all intents, you've been single for seven years. It also sounds like you are in a relationship with a man you feel comfortable having around your child, and whom your child knows and gets along with. Would I recommend bringing home a string of men? No, because it can be confusing to a kid. But again, you are in a relationship. How do these judgy people think people with kids get remarried? They just snap their fingers and boom, a new spouse appears?
As for people judging you for dating while separated, they can take a hike. Separation is legal nonsense that the state puts people through on the chance that the couple may reconcile when in the vast majority of cases, the marriage is beyond repair and reconciliation is long off the table. That said, seven years is a long time not to file for divorce. Not sure if you addressed this up-thread, but in your shoes, I would get on that. I know there are reasons people let legal ties linger--I know people who were separated longer than you and they just didn't want to deal with it until they met someone else they wanted to marry. But still.
As for the bullies, you need to get the school and the other parents involved. High school aged boys should not be picking on 12-year-olds. In fact, I would say the parenting skills of those boys are the bigger problem then you deciding, as a parent, to have a relationship.
P.S. Note how I didn't mention the age difference between you and your boyfriend. That's because it doesn't matter.
Has the child been physically attacked yet, or is it just verbal harassment? If it's just verbal, then that's ok. Kids are such savages. The mother's behavior is off the table. We need to focus on the 12 year old's preparedness for physical assault.
My boyfriend visits school with me whenever he can . Helps him bond well with my son.
Why is my dating life being talked about at school ? Well as I said I have been seen with my boyfriend while waiting for my son during pick up or after drop off . Some of the high school kids may have noticed us and were just making fun and teasing my son.
Thanks for your concern for my son and my friend is OK with me having a boyfriend.
What happens when you break up or he breaks up with you?
So I am 37 years old woman and been separated from my husband since 7 years.
I dated my ex husband and then married him when I was 24 and he was 37 and people we OK with the age difference.
However, now I am 37 and dating a 26 year old guy since past 8 months, people judge me and think i am a cougar.
I feel bad for the double standards in the society.
The other day some High school bullies from my son's school bullied my son by **** shaming me. My 12 year old son was scarred and I was shocked when he told me what all he had heard from the High school kids.
I feel no one has the right to point out whom I date or am sexually active with as long as I am not breaking the law.
There are a lot of things to consider when looking for a relationship, and your son's age and feelings should be the priority. It seems odd, unless you live in a very small town, that any of your son's friends or schoolmates would even know or care who you date. Could be that your son is making that up so that you will understand how this is making him feel? 11 year difference at a young adult age is a big difference. Seems your interests and values would be worlds apart, especially your lifestyles.
I'm not judging, it's the same thing I told my son. He's 46, girlfriend is 26, they just had a baby together. That's a big age difference, it's bound to cause problems down the road.
Yes, there is absolutely a double standard re men vs. women dating younger. .
Meh, Anna Nicole Smith was 26 when she married her husband who was...89. Surely she was judged for that. Being judged by the age of your spouse works both ways. The bigger the gap, the more taboo it becomes.
Also, for all we know, the OP looks 26 and her man look 37, you can't always accurately tell the age of someone just by looking at them.
But yes, overall, it's safe to say that a clearly older looking woman dating a clearly younger looking man gets more scrutiny than the other way around. Generally speaking.
If you're in the US and if your boy is in a state that does cyber school, also if your boy is not involved in any sports currently, if he is also self-disciplined to do his work, maybe have him transfer over to a cyber school.
Who you're separated from, maybe that person indirectly passed information on to the community. People notice things. No one is fault except for the people who make fun of you, make fun of your son, and make fun of the person whom you are dating.
Everyone needs to establish their boundaries and minimize contact with those people who are disrespectful. Easier said than done, but the way of the world. I face some of this kind of BS and I'm not in a situation like yours.
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