Accused him of cheating, now I feel really stupid. Would you forgive someone that made accussations? (boyfriends, how to)
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I never had the energy to be jealous. Either I can trust you or I cant. If I know I cant we are done. Life is too short to spend with jealousy.
Since the OP mentioned ‘going psycho on the woman’ (although she didn’t), I think her issues extend beyond jealousy into unresolved anger/rage as well. It’s also clear she isn’t an effective communicator i.e. why would she make an accusation rather than simply start a discussion with him.
After jealousy issues the controlling behaviors begin to rear their ugly heads. Followed by actual abusive behavior. None of that is conducive to long term happy relationships.
When I was younger, I had a boyfriend that falsely accused me of cheating and I forgave him. That was a mistake, he was just really controlling and I should have ended things then.
My thought now is if there isn't trust just end things. That said, I have known guys who tend to be more forgiving than I am on these matters, so I would talk to the guy and take it from there.
I might also reach out to a therapist to work on the trust issues because I think this behavior will continue to undermine your future relationships.
I admitted to him I have jealousy issues I need to work on. I'm glad I didn't go psycho on the innocent woman. I was mad at him, not her with my insecurities that needs to be worked on. Is it possible for him to forgive me within time and rebuild trust?
No one here can answer on his behalf.
I've dated plenty of people who experience jealousy and insecurities to varying degrees; no one is perfect. The big red flag for me is how they deal with them. Acting on them in haste and going psycho is a no go for me.... Talking about it and being honest with your feelings is perfectly fine with me. I want them to be open/transparent with me because it is how we learn about each other. I do maintain a lot of friendships with women so I totally understand that it is natural.
Why did you think he was cheating? What was the accusation like? What was his response? It really depends on what happened. There's a big difference between "he had behavior that seemed concerning and you sat him down and had a calm, rational conversation" and "his mom called so you started screaming at him and throwing things because another woman called him."
The other question is... what are you doing to make sure this doesn't happen again? You say you have jealousy issues and insecurities, so how are you working on that so you can be a healthy partner in a healthy relationship?
I admitted to him I have jealousy issues I need to work on. I'm glad I didn't go psycho on the innocent woman. I was mad at him, not her with my insecurities that needs to be worked on. Is it possible for him to forgive me within time and rebuild trust?
I think there is a difference between going psycho on somebody and merely talking things over about his relationship with the other woman. If you talk things over, like a civilized person, then I would not have an issue. If you went psycho however to the point of landing yourself in jail, I would dump you and end all contact.
Since the OP mentioned ‘going psycho on the woman’ (although she didn’t), I think her issues extend beyond jealousy into unresolved anger/rage as well. It’s also clear she isn’t an effective communicator i.e. why would she make an accusation rather than simply start a discussion with him.
In other words, multiple issues going on here.
yeah, that is why I suggested: get some help with this issue before embarking on another relationship.
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