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Old 04-14-2024, 07:37 AM
 
Location: NMB, SC
43,054 posts, read 18,223,725 times
Reputation: 34928

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stagemomma View Post
I want to discover that I can fall in love with someone I really like regardless of the fact that he's not terribly good looking and isn't the ideal man for me. I want to give this nice guy a chance to finish first.
You are attacking this for all the wrong reasons.
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Old 04-14-2024, 07:50 AM
 
Location: a primitive state
11,395 posts, read 24,438,947 times
Reputation: 17462
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stagemomma View Post
I want to discover that I can fall in love with someone I really like regardless of the fact that he's not terribly good looking and isn't the ideal man for me. I want to give this nice guy a chance to finish first.
That’s a terrible reason to date someone.
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Old 04-14-2024, 08:34 AM
 
24,475 posts, read 10,804,014 times
Reputation: 46746
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stagemomma View Post
I want to discover that I can fall in love with someone I really like regardless of the fact that he's not terribly good looking and isn't the ideal man for me. I want to give this nice guy a chance to finish first.
He is a human being not a guinea pig!
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Old 04-14-2024, 11:53 AM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stagemomma View Post
I want to discover that I can fall in love with someone I really like regardless of the fact that he's not terribly good looking and isn't the ideal man for me. I want to give this nice guy a chance to finish first.
OP, you are capable of far better than this. Please do not use this guy as your experiment or on the behalf of nice guys. Be honest with him while the respect is still there.
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Old 04-14-2024, 01:53 PM
 
Location: Richmond VA
6,883 posts, read 7,881,752 times
Reputation: 18209
All right, you all are convincing me: in my usual insecure way I have been trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. We parted on Monday after dinner by saying we would meet again for dinner and/or a movie (Civil War, which I admit I was lukewarm on). Now here it is Sunday afternoon of a gloriously beautiful weekend and I haven't heard a peep from him (I'm old fashioned so I expect him to contact me first) we have no plans, and all I've done all weekend is worked in my garden and taken a few naps while presumably he's riding his bike.

This guy doesn't actually speak any love languages, does he?

Here I was thinking a bird in hand is better than two birds in a bush but he's definitely better for me as a friend and I knew that, just wasn't ready to give up hope that something would spark.

Meanwhile, over on OKCupid there are no new prospects, just the same old same old...I'm going to have to be more assertive there or try a different app.
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Old 04-14-2024, 02:17 PM
 
415 posts, read 545,222 times
Reputation: 1519
This guy just isn't good match, it's time to move on. When you have exhausted all of the possibilities on one app, move on to the next one. On the next app, you will see some familiar faces, but there will be some new faces as well.

I would also try doing some things offline to meet guys as well. Some people are just better at face to face interactions.I know I am .
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Old 04-16-2024, 09:23 AM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,757 posts, read 19,951,234 times
Reputation: 43156
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stagemomma View Post

Meanwhile, over on OKCupid there are no new prospects, just the same old same old...I'm going to have to be more assertive there or try a different app.
I have been there, where I have "used up" all prospects on the app and tried to talk myself into messaging people back that I was not really interested in because I thought that's all that's left for me. It isn't. Don't do it.

Go outside. Find a new hobby where you meet new people. Join groups/meetups/sport clubs/anything. My bf and I started pickleball 5 months ago and we have met tons of new people. A lot of them are single and show up alone, everyone is welcoming and friendly. In pickleball you find young, old, skinny, fat, athletic, not athletic - any form and size and age. It doesn't take much to play as this is not a very fast or demanding sport.

Or get/borrow a dog and go to dog parks. Start playing pool. I know people who go out to play pool alone and they always meet other people. Any sport/activity where you need others. And you need to become a regular, give it some time.

So much more natural than dating apps. I will NEVER go back on dating apps, I was on them for years and it is nothing but frustrating. I have never been rejected so often in my life and questioned myself, it can be very humbling and humiliating.
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Old 04-17-2024, 07:42 AM
 
Location: Richmond VA
6,883 posts, read 7,881,752 times
Reputation: 18209
Well what do you know, it appears he has ghosted me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 04-17-2024, 08:44 AM
 
Location: Southeast
1,847 posts, read 867,463 times
Reputation: 5251
You didn't even care about him. Seriously, get over it.
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Old 04-17-2024, 08:58 AM
 
20,706 posts, read 19,349,208 times
Reputation: 8278
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stagemomma View Post
Well what do you know, it appears he has ghosted me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Not much to show for it. Problem its hard to tell. If a woman is not into a man , they will often know. I called a girl once and she said she wanted to finish her favorite TV show. That was all I needed to know. Another girl one day just "ghosted" from a coffee shop I used to frequent. She just figured it out that I was not making a move. She looked too much like an ex of mine and I just had enough for awhile.


For some objectivity who is doing the break up? If its them common causes are looking too good in the presentation. Your best is OK but should be representative. Another cause is just dating out of your league. If its the other way around then too much focus on the superficial. That good looking car sitting on the lot for a good price for a long time might have a blown transmission. Good on paper but bad in reality keeps circulating. Dating is also subject to Gresham's law . Bad money forces out good money. The bad money circulates.
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