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I hope that you can let go also. I was just telling my boyfriend about this thread. While he does see that your husband could have phrased it better, he didn't see the harm in what he said. Is it that wrong of him to remember your long hair fondly? Also, my boyfriend suspects that your husband has also forgotten the conversation and you will have to requote what he said back to him. My boyfriend says that women seem to way overthink things and I agree with him. I analyze and grind everything into a pulp. Also when I recount my daily adventures to my boyfriend, he is always amazed at all the details that I can remember. His stories are much simpler.
I think that it was it Freud that said "sometimes a banana is just a banana..."
Does anyone else think this was a "statement" about more than a hairstyle?
Today my husband said to me " Why don't you grow you hair out again, you were much sexier with longer hair "
That was 10 years, 30 lbs and 3 kids ago. I have been so mad at him today, it is our 14th anniversary on on the 9th, we have dinner plans but now I might just cancel the babysitter.
No need to throw the baby out with the bath water. Simply tell him that his comment was hurtful to you and that it made you feel that you weren't good enough the way you are today.
Insenstive? Honey I think it's called clueless. Don't assume anything with men, yes it was not a smart comment considering he may not even get any action on his anniversary!
Does anyone else think this was a "statement" about more than a hairstyle?
Today my husband said to me " Why don't you grow you hair out again, you were much sexier with longer hair "
That was 10 years, 30 lbs and 3 kids ago. I have been so mad at him today, it is our 14th anniversary on on the 9th, we have dinner plans but now I might just cancel the babysitter.
If you have ever dated a long-haired rock musician you would know that one of THE most erotic feelings on the face of the Earth is having long hair brush against you gently when you are making love. I think your husband was offering a suggestion based upon his preferences. After all, unless you can read minds, this is the only way that he can COMMUNICATE with you about what he would like. I'd be thrilled to death that he took the time and the effort to do this. Now, if you would rather not, that is up to you (it's your hair), but I certainly would not throw my own insecurities about my appearance into the mix here, not when he was just being open and honest and communicative with you. That's a real good way of making him NOT WANT to tell you things in the future, y'know.
NO - I don't think anybody here actually said 'stupid.' Sometimes SOME men (and I'm sure some women) do not think about how their words might affect somebody. If it happens a lot in a relationship, like in mine, you tend to get used to it and know how to ask for clarification. If it comes out of the blue (which seems to have happened in this case,) it can be pretty shocking. Insensitivity, however, does not equal stupidity.
You're being too sensitive -- ok I'm kidding with that statement, but it seemed to fit here.
Location: Georgia, on the Florida line, right above Tallahassee
10,471 posts, read 15,835,178 times
Reputation: 6438
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren
I have never understood what it is with mens obsession with long hair. My daughters Father was like that. I told him I would grow mine as long as he wanted it if he would take care of it for me.
It never occurred to him to consult ME on his hairstyle or whether or not he had facial hair but he seemed to feel he had the right to dictate to me about my hair. That didn't last of course.
I cut my blow shoulder length hair to a bob that was about chin level, I brought the hair home in a zip lock bag. I called him and told him to come through the door with his eyes closed because I had surprise for him. I put the bag of hair in his hands and told him to open his eyes. He was really mad. I got a kick out of it.
Location: Georgia, on the Florida line, right above Tallahassee
10,471 posts, read 15,835,178 times
Reputation: 6438
Quote:
Originally Posted by asitshouldbe
Does anyone else think this was a "statement" about more than a hairstyle?
Today my husband said to me " Why don't you grow you hair out again, you were much sexier with longer hair "
That was 10 years, 30 lbs and 3 kids ago. I have been so mad at him today, it is our 14th anniversary on on the 9th, we have dinner plans but now I might just cancel the babysitter.
Long hair is sexy. It seems that the older a woman gets, the shorter her hair gets. My wife's hair was mid-back. Now it's slightly above shoulder level. She has no problem with this. I have no problem either. After all, people change. I gained 500 lbs. See? Change is good.
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For some reason, she had a problem with it. Said I used to "look different." Said she found me sexier when I wasn't making Orca sounds and flopping from room to room in walrus mode. I said "Whatever" and kept eating nachos. I can't help that she won't accept me for who I am. I'm me. She fell in love with ME, right? That's what it's all about.
Love... Baby.
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From what I've read, most men find long hair attractive. I've read that it is based on some sort of genetic stuff. Ah..here we go - "marker of genetic strength and overall health" & "an indication of reproductive fitness."
I just find it freaking hot. But that is the way I'm built to like it. It's genetic, see? If not, it's a great excuse...because long hair is freaking HOT HOT HOT.
I also like small Asian women. This might be because my mom was blessed with a serious amount of Native American genes and is about 5 foot tall. She also had long, mid-back hair when I was growing up.
Interestingly enough, my wife is Asian, 4'11', and had mid-back hair when we met. Coincidence? Maybe. I don't think so, though. I've heard men marry women who are like their mom. I've heard girls marry men who are just like - or directly opposite- what their Dad was like.
I'll let you know in about 15-25 years what my daughter chose...
I personnally do not like really short hair on women. My wife's hair is down to her shoulder blades and I like it that way. I have asked her that if she cuts it, do not go above the shoulders, pretty please. She likes my hair short and me clean shaven so thats how I keep myself. I don't feel I am controlling her or she me. It's just how we like each other.
Believe me, from a man's perspective, it just means that he likes you with long hair. Doesnt mean that youre not sexy enough - men just dont think that way - women do. If my wife says something to me like "Why dont you ________, you were much sexier when you were ___________" I would be thrilled that she's telling me what she finds sexy and would just do it.
I think sometimes women just think too much and try to read into "inner meaning" of what we men say. Unfortunately, most of us men dont possess the mental capacity to give signs/hints etc. What we say NEVER has any other meaning other than what we say. Just take it as such that he likes long hair - THATS ITS.
So, MLV, are you saying you'd have absolutely no problem with this exact sentence? Or do you think so because you’ve never heard it…?
Quote:
" Why don't you grow you hair out again, you were much sexier with longer hair "
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-- ok I'm kidding with that statement, but it seemed to fit here
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