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First of all, don't accuse me. I'm just speaking about human nature.
And, again, I will say that anybody is capable of it under the right conditions. I'm certainly not saying that you're likely to do it. But this 100% certainty by you and the other posters on the board is meaningless.
The one who has it right is Mari4him, because she understands that all people are fallible. Situation avoidance is the key.
The thing is, you asked us if we WOULD cheat. Not if we could.
I'm here to tell you that I would not, no matter what the situation. I take my marriage vows seriously. Whether or not you believe me is meaningless, because you don't know me.
Frankly, I wonder why you even bothered to post this poll at all, other than to take the opportunity to call a bunch of people liars. You can pontificate all you like, but the fact remains that you cannot speak for anyone but yourself.
Sorry if I misinterpreted. And I must not be writing with precision today, for all I am trying to say is that it is unwise to say, "It couldn't ever happen to me." For it is always possible, so one must always be alert to situations where it could happen.
Is this a statement that everybody can agree with?
I very much agree! Pastors cheat on their wives, pastor's wives cheat on their husbands, People who are considered pillars of their community cheat on their spouses.
It is always possible, it is just less possible if you know that it is possible and take the proper precautions!
The thing is, you asked us if we WOULD cheat. Not if we could.
I'm here to tell you that I would not, no matter what the situation. I take my marriage vows seriously. Whether or not you believe me is meaningless, because you don't know me.
Frankly, I wonder why you even bothered to post this poll at all, other than to take the opportunity to call a bunch of people liars. You can pontificate all you like, but the fact remains that you cannot speak for anyone but yourself.
Hmmmmm.....offering a differing opinion is pontificating. Gosh, here I thought the entire purpose of a message board was to offer up thoughtful discussion. I didn't realize we were all supposed to march along in lockstep spouting pieties. I'm sorry that the idea that maybe, just maybe, under the right circumstances with the right person, any person is capable of it. Forgive me for doubting everybody's moral perfection. In fact, let's just create a Church of Claire, so that we can all stand around and marvel at your manifest goodness.
Okay. I change my answer to, "Gosh. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally incapable of cheating, because I am the most virtuous person on the planet. In fact, I'm so certain that I wouldn't cheat, that you could make me go without sex for five years, get me liquored up in the company of the most gorgeous licentious women on the planet, all of whom were promising the best roll in the hay in human history, and I wouldn't flinch. I wouldn't bat an eyelash. I would do nothing but sit there and think pure thoughts."
Is that what you want me to say? Good. I'm so glad.
I haven't seen him for at least 2 years, had he kept showing up I may have been one of those statistics where the women say "it just happened"
People are right about not putting yourself in a situation in which it might happen because it is likely to happen. One day you'll be pissed or will have had that extra drink, and there will be a sympathetic shoulder to cry on... and "ooops, it happened"... This saying "never say never" didn't come out of the blue. Some like to present themselves as holier than thou, but it's better to stay away from temptation 'cause we're all human... even the saints among us...
I was kinda impressed with my ex-husband when I saw him last. I asked him why he doesn't stop by to see my new house and he said he didn't wanna put himself in this situation because he lives with somebody. It's not that I'm gonna jump his bones and rape him, but apparently he doesn't trust himself enough. He said "you know I had eyes only for you while we were together; I can't do this now." And since we don't have children (aka any reason to get together), I can see how his GF wouldn't be too thrilled. Guess it's fair enough...
Hmmmmm.....offering a differing opinion is pontificating. Gosh, here I thought the entire purpose of a message board was to offer up thoughtful discussion. I didn't realize we were all supposed to march along in lockstep spouting pieties. I'm sorry that the idea that maybe, just maybe, under the right circumstances with the right person, any person is capable of it. Forgive me for doubting everybody's moral perfection. In fact, let's just create a Church of Claire, so that we can all stand around and marvel at your manifest goodness.
Okay. I change my answer to, "Gosh. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally incapable of cheating, because I am the most virtuous person on the planet. In fact, I'm so certain that I wouldn't cheat, that you could make me go without sex for five years, get me liquored up in the company of the most gorgeous licentious women on the planet, all of whom were promising the best roll in the hay in human history, and I wouldn't flinch. I wouldn't bat an eyelash. I would do nothing but sit there and think pure thoughts."
Is that what you want me to say? Good. I'm so glad.
WTF is wrong with you? Why can't you just accept someone at their word when they say they wouldn't cheat?
You're pontificating when you disagree with something I say I wouldn't do. What I'm stating about myself, and whether or not I would cheat, is NOT an opinion for you to agree or disagree with. You didn't ask if we thought people in general would cheat. You asked whether or not each of us, individually, would cheat.
You're pontificating on a subject you didn't address. Perhaps the question in your poll should have been whether or not we believe people in general would cheat - not whether we personally would cheat. There's a world of difference, and I don't appreciate you telling me I would do otherwise when I say I won't cheat. I certainly don't appreciate your personal attacks.
The fact of the matter is, I'm a one man woman. When I'm committed to someone, I don't even look at other people that way. I may think someone's attractive, but the thought of sleeping with them doesn't even enter my mind. I'm in love with my husband, and I don't need or want anyone else. If that were ever to change, I would end my marriage before getting involved with someone.
Meaningless sex doesn't do it for me. I need to be emotionally involved with someone before I sleep with them, and I would not put myself in a situation to become emotionally involved with anyone but my husband.
WTF is wrong with you? Why can't you just accept someone at their word when they say they wouldn't cheat?
You're pontificating when you disagree with something I say I wouldn't do. What I'm stating about myself, and whether or not I would cheat, is NOT an opinion for you to agree or disagree with.
So disagreeing with you is tantamount with pontification? Oh, bully for that.
It's very simple. Anybody is capable of it. It doesn't mean you seek it out. It doesn't mean you aren't made of stern moral fiber. What it does mean that moral certitude suddenly doesn't do one a lot of good when they find themselves in that situation. I've known way too many people like you who had all the conviction in the world and then succumbed.
I mean, the last time I checked, we're all fallible. Aren't you?
Alright, apparently some are not capable of cheating and some are willing to be brutally honest and say that it is possible and to be aware of your surroundings and situations you put yourself in. Sometimes you will need to be on "red alert" so to speak. I've had some wise religious leaders say "no one is safe from infidelity" They should know right? Confessions.....
Alright, apparently some are not capable of cheating and some are willing to be brutally honest and say that it is possible and to be aware of your surroundings and situations you put yourself in. Sometimes you will need to be on "red alert" so to speak. I've had some wise religious leaders say "no one is safe from infidelity" They should know right? Confessions.....
Are you kidding? Who in their right mind would confess anything to this bunch of Calvinists?
You didn't ask if we were capable of it. You asked if we would. Yes, I'm physically capable, but no I wouldn't. How can I possibly make that more clear?
Pontificate. Verb. Meaning: To speak or behave with exaggerated authority. You're presuming to speak for me, therefore you are speaking with exaggerated authority. You're pontificating.
As for calling us all a bunch of calvinists, again, you're wrong. I'm agnostic. My fidelity to my husband is not based on any religious doctrine. It's based on my love and respect for him. As long as I'm in love with my husband, I don't need or want anyone else.
You didn't ask if we were capable of it. You asked if we would. Yes, I'm physically capable, but no I wouldn't. How can I possibly make that more clear?
Pontificate. Verb. Meaning: To speak or behave with exaggerated authority. You're presuming to speak for me, therefore you are speaking with exaggerated authority.
Again, because I actually believe people are fallible and shouldn't trust in their own virtue, I'm pontificating. That's a total non sequiter on your part.
Have you really ever been in a situation where it could happen? Again, everybody likes to believe they'd do the right thing during a plane crash or a car wreck or any other hypothetical situation. But nobody really knows what will happen until they're tested. And you're putting a lot of stock in your own purity. It's called hubris.
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