Would you cheat on your current or future SO if you'd get away with it? (girl, young)
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I think there's a lot of validity in what you say, and I've really had to watch what and how I interact with others as a result. My wife claims that people are just drawn to me. I'm the guy that people walk up to and ask directions. I'm the guy that kids walk up to in the grocery store or the mall when they can't find their parents. She says I have a knack for relating to just about anybody, and I'm more interested in talking about them than talking about me. So, she's not surprised when these things happen. I always tell her, by the way. She says when I don't tell her that she would begin to worry. According to Mrs. CPG35223, "I don't care where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home."
There is validity to what you say as well. There are people that are just like that. It's like they are people magnets and other's are just drawn to them. There are also people that unintentionally can give out certain vibes. For me for example, growing up and in my young adult years, I used to be considered a "natural flirt", not because I was actually flirting, but because I had a way about making other's feel comfortable around me. This could sometimes be misconstrued. As a result I learned to be a bit more reserved especially when dealing with a member of the opposite sex as to ensure that I did not give out the wrong impression.
I think it is another key element the openess you have with your wife in the sense that you do not hide such things from her. I mean it's not like you gotta go home and say "hey honey today at the supermarket check out the cashier smiled at me" but say in an instance where an outright action was taken such as similar to the ones that you described, you're telling her about it show's you have nothing to hide, which often means you did nothing wrong. However, if you didn't tell her about it and it somehow came to her attention, even if you said your part of what took place, she'd wonder why you didn't tell her about it.
No, I would never cheat on my husband. I love him with all my heart. We've been together for over 15 years and married for almost 14 years. (I'm 35 and he's 39.) I've never been tempted to cheat on him and it's never crossed my mind. I have several male aquaintances, but no close male friends. I won't even add males as my friends at MySpace or Facebook unless I'm related to them. Not because I'm tempted in some way (not at all), it just feels weird to me. Hard to explain.
Not only would I not cheat because I love my husband, but also because I would hate myself for it and because I love God. The Bible says that if we love Him we'll keep His commandments.
Before my husband and I got married, we were tempted to have sex but didn't give in. Even when we got real close. Regardless of how good it may have felt physically, we didn't want to disobey God. I'm proud and happy that I was a virgin when I got married.
There have been other things I've said I wouldn't do and I haven't done them. I've never drank alcohol (not one drop; the smell alone gags me), never tried cigarettes, never done drugs, didn't have sex before marriage, and so on.
People can control themselves if it means enough to them. Love for my husband, respect for myself and love for God is what's kept me faithful.
As for capability, I agree that anyone is capable of cheating, as well as many other things (good and bad) that might surprise them. But being physically able to do something and actually doing it are two different things. People are able to do many awful things, but they are also able to do many great things as well.
And now I can see that I'm about to go off on a tangent about how people are just as capable of doing good as they are of doing bad, so I will stop here. lol
No, my language was terse because your post was insulting. Look, judging by your ongoing catalog of bitter rants, I know you're the self-styled paragon of virtue on the board. And I also know that you carry your past wounds on your sleeve for everybody to see, mainly because you nurse them on a daily basis. And I know that you're exceptionally cynical about everybody else. But just because you view all people and all things through a distorted prism doesn't make them that way. The fact is, I am human, I have faced temptation, and I thought enough to admit as much to the board. And you can either take what I say at face value, or you can stick it where the sun don't shine.
*Off topic *
I have to say that Lindsey may come across a bit of a cynic, but I think she's very funny! I enjoy reading her post's.
Where'd ya'll live? I think I'm far away enough to see the wrap of the snack!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ
I happen to be one of those who are way less concerned with an isolated "beast" (say on a business trip) than with a non-consummated, long, and ongoing emotional affair.
I'm the opposite of this. Not that I prefer either of these. But I would rather lose my husband over an affair that meant something to him, then a one night fling that meant absolutely nothing.
My parents have been married for over 30 years and neither has ever strayed on the other. Both sets of my grandparents have been married for over 55 years and none of them have cheated on each other. I come from a long line of faithful people and I am a faithful person.
NOT meaning to be snarky AT ALL. My only comment is that how do you know for sure??? I have been plenty surprised over things I have found out about friends and family that I assumed to be true and it wasn't.
I think cpg35223 has a point that while we say "I would never", you don't know for certain where your life will be say 20 years from now. I thought my grandparents that were married for over 60 years before they died had THE PERFECT marriage. Illusions are everywhere. They stayed together and it wasn't until after they passed that we all found out the nitty gritty. Me, I live my life in a way that won't hurt others. I would like to think I wouldn't cheat on my husband, and having been married for 17 years (together for 18) without EVER cheating, I am not going to say never. If he were to become a total bonehead and there was no hope for him to recover from said boneheadness, I make no promises. (just for clarification, I have no plans on cheating on my husband)
Last edited by jillz; 07-21-2008 at 06:37 PM..
Reason: clarification
I'm the opposite of this. Not that I prefer either of these. But I would rather lose my husband over an affair that meant something to him, then a one night fling that meant absolutely nothing.
Well, if it's a one-time indiscretion and you believe it meant absolutely nothing... than it would be your choice to "lose" him if he doesn't wanna get "lost"...
I would never cheat on my wife. He ex cheated on her twice and it almost destroyed her. Before we married, I swore to her that I would never cheat nor leave her. She made me the same promise and I will never break that promise.
I would never cheat on my wife. He ex cheated on her twice and it almost destroyed her. Before we married, I swore to her that I would never cheat nor leave her. She made me the same promise and I will never break that promise.
Hmm, as heart-warming as it sounds, I'm not sure how I feel about such promises... For some reason they smell of insecurity and co-dependency to me. It's as if you give each other cart blanche to do anything else displeasing, but...
Hmm, as heart-warming as it sounds, I'm not sure how I feel about such promises... For some reason they smell of insecurity and co-dependency to me. It's as if you give each other cart blanche to do anything else displeasing, but...
Yeah, but isn't that what basically marriage vows are?? Be faithful and stay married??
I do agree it does sound a little bit co-dependent.
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Now I'll never see the snack!
