Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Long story but I'll try and make it as brief as possible. A friend of mine ended his long self destructive relationship months ago. Not as much ended it, it was more like the dying star finally collapsed onto itself. His ex started calling me to "talk" after it happened and I was hesitant but listened because I legitimately felt bad for her. I felt like I was doing something wrong and was uneasy. This accumulated until one night she asked me to come over. I knew I shouldn't have but I did anyway. I suspected she had ulterior reasons and called many friends and family members wondering if I was panicking and had just watched "too much tv". We didn't do anything, but she tried. She made many sexy suggestive comments to me and I ignored them and played dumb until the whole "Well anyway It's getting late I should be going" came up. I have had minimal to no contact with her since. I am now wondering if I should tell my friend. He is still reeling from the relationship and is still somewhat in love with her, but most bridges are burned. I've been silent about it to him for a while, but we are VERY close and have had many heart to hearts (mostly about his feelings for her lately). I am not sure if this goes along the lines of "what he doesn't know won't hurt him" or if I should respect our close (albeit odd) friendship and reveal the truth to him. I've gone back and fourth on this so I suppose the logical thing for me to do is to ask a bunch of strangers online (although with the amount of FL people on here, odds are I know at least one of you...heck I hope one of you isn't the players in the story I mentioned!).
Yes. I would tell him. Its hard telling how many others she has played like this out of sympathy.
He needs to know the truth, and you will feel better in the long run.
I know a guy who just went through this here in Tampa! His friend went to go see his ex a couple months after the breakup - and he and his friend are no longer speaking. He said that he will no longer speak to him because he felt his buddy betrayed him by just placing his presence at his ex-GF's house without calling him first to bounce it off him. On top of that, withheld it from him for whatever amount of short time. A respect and loyalty issue. He says that his friend should have kept his lip zipped and not tattled on himself - because if his ex said his friend was over at her house, he would have not believed her under any circumstance.
My advice, based on the above situation of my friend and because you said nothing happened with her - if you want to not stir matters of the heart, keep silent. Silence is not a lie. If she uses it as a weapon toward him in the future, deny, deny, deny.
I know a guy who just went through this here in Tampa!
That first sentence scared me since that is the area I live in, except the circumstances for yours were somewhat different. He does know that me and her have in touch since the breakup, but he isn't aware of me coming over her house at night and her coming onto me.
Some women are tricky - farts in a strong windstorm - you have a 50% chance of her using it as a weapon against him that will affect your friendship. If there is no more association with her and you do not plan to - and absolutely nothing happened - I would tuck the memory away and forget about it.
Some women are tricky - farts in a strong windstorm - you have a 50% chance of her using it as a weapon against him that will affect your friendship. If there is no more association with her and you do not plan to - and absolutely nothing happened - I would tuck the memory away and forget about it.
I think the dying star analogy was very apropos. It became a black hole and sucked you in.
Don't tell your friend. Even though nothing happened,he'll still feel betrayed that you went over there.
And rightfully so,you shouldn't have gone. I know that you did it out of kindness,(and I think she manipulated you a bit) but if she wants to cause trouble,you've given her ammunition to do it with.
Continue to have no contact with her,keep quiet,cross your fingers,and hope it blows over quickly.
I ask my husbands advice on this.
He said that if nothing happened......keep silent.
If they was to get back together, then you might think about saying something, but if its over between them, let it go.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
