Having a tough time.. Post-Breakup Issues! (girl, family, separate, call)
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The other day, my ex from before the most recent ex texted me. She is going to call me on Saturday night... No, I'm not thinking of reconciling with her heh... we ended badly, and she is in a committed relationship with someone else (which I am perfectly fine with... proves that time heals all). It's just interesting... we ended badly (cheating on her part again), and after time she realized that I was great to her.
Seems to happen to all my ex's... but I've never taken one back.
The one thing I have learned through all my pains of break up from bf's to divorce even, was thank God they are EX. In the moment I could not see it. I have been in your place a few times too many. I give my heart very easy. I couln't eat, sleep, work, Keep anything in or down. Time, time is what healed me. I pushed myself out. Started hanging with old friends, dancing, exercising and it seemed like in no time I was working like a mad woman. House was so spotless too. I bought new clothes and make up had my hair given a new do, Made myself feel good about me. You just need to remember time heals everything. There is a new soul mate out there for you that you maybe haven't met or overlooked because of this past relationship.
My major heart breaker wanted to still get together once and awhile to be intimate. This was sooooooooooo not good for me. Seeing him made me feel like I could not breathe without him and the intimacy made me feel like we could mend our relationship. He too had been seeing someone else and a friend had seen them and told me. They were not sexual at that time and I called her (knew her) and talked she thought we had broke up so she ended it. Soon there after he started dating my best friends younger sister that I grown up together with. The sister was also my friend. She did not believe he was calling for sex but I had no reason to lie. They are married now. But he and I would not have been a good match. Time taught me that. Good luck. Do things for you. You say you are OCD so make a new plan and it will become comfortable. I wish I could take away your pain but it will get better I promise.
I have been doing a few things to change myself... moved the stuff in the house all around (even stuff that couldn't really be put anywhere else... is now 3-4 inches to the left!). Cut and dyed my hair (no, not anything crazy-looking!). I am also designing a tattoo to have within a few weeks (no, not a rash decision, I have been thinking about it for a long time). Basically, everything I've wanted to do but didn't have the time or support for...
Quote:
Originally Posted by chey2u
The one thing I have learned through all my pains of break up from bf's to divorce even, was thank God they are EX. In the moment I could not see it. I have been in your place a few times too many. I give my heart very easy. I couln't eat, sleep, work, Keep anything in or down. Time, time is what healed me. I pushed myself out. Started hanging with old friends, dancing, exercising and it seemed like in no time I was working like a mad woman. House was so spotless too. I bought new clothes and make up had my hair given a new do, Made myself feel good about me. You just need to remember time heals everything. There is a new soul mate out there for you that you maybe haven't met or overlooked because of this past relationship.
My major heart breaker wanted to still get together once and awhile to be intimate. This was sooooooooooo not good for me. Seeing him made me feel like I could not breathe without him and the intimacy made me feel like we could mend our relationship. He too had been seeing someone else and a friend had seen them and told me. They were not sexual at that time and I called her (knew her) and talked she thought we had broke up so she ended it. Soon there after he started dating my best friends younger sister that I grown up together with. The sister was also my friend. She did not believe he was calling for sex but I had no reason to lie. They are married now. But he and I would not have been a good match. Time taught me that. Good luck. Do things for you. You say you are OCD so make a new plan and it will become comfortable. I wish I could take away your pain but it will get better I promise.
That is a great start. It is kind of like dusting, removing the cob webs so to speak. Get back to you. What you want, what you need. Think only about you until you heal then you can give a hoot to others.
That is a great start. It is kind of like dusting, removing the cob webs so to speak. Get back to you. What you want, what you need. Think only about you until you heal then you can give a hoot to others.
I like your dusting analogy. A simple and effective way to put it.
The more work I do on myself, the better I feel... I am finally starting to have times when I don't think about her. I have to remind myself at these times that she exists
I have been doing a few things to change myself... moved the stuff in the house all around (even stuff that couldn't really be put anywhere else... is now 3-4 inches to the left!). Cut and dyed my hair (no, not anything crazy-looking!). I am also designing a tattoo to have within a few weeks (no, not a rash decision, I have been thinking about it for a long time). Basically, everything I've wanted to do but didn't have the time or support for...
There's one thing I always seem to do and that is scrub the house up one end and down the other when there's a breakup, regardless of who instigated it. That ol' hair dye and cut works wonders too.
I think you're really moving in the right direction. Sometimes in order to cope with change, we need to make changes.
Speaking of.........I ran into an ex bf just now. I was in the parking lot and he was walking towards the store. We had dated for one year shortly after I went through a horrible divorce that took me on an emotional, physical and financial roller coaster ride to hell. Suffice it to say, I wasn't myself and took the brunt of the blame for the break up with this guy. Fifteen years later, he was still gloating to his friends (he thinks he's better) and bad-mouthing me. The worst thing I did was yell at him because after a year he still couldn't take the pictures of his ex-wife out of the bedroom we slept in. Do you know what that's like?
Although I admit, I was going through a horrible time and was very emotional.
Like I mentioned before, when things don't work out, there's a reason. Be glad it's over.
Yea, in the end I am sure it will be for the best. I was just looking around my computer through my pictures and came across some that she put on there of her.... at the bar hugging other guys. Heh. Wasn't so much hurt by it... just really ticked off. I'll bet the delete key needs a rest now!
Yea, in the end I am sure it will be for the best. I was just looking around my computer through my pictures and came across some that she put on there of her.... at the bar hugging other guys. Heh. Wasn't so much hurt by it... just really ticked off. I'll bet the delete key needs a rest now!
Don't forget to empty the trash can after you delete.
I am going through the same thing right now!! I just left the gym early, because I could not stop thinking about my break up. IT SUCKS! But after reading your story, (mine way different) but the same feelings, I so feel for you. They say time cures all, and yes it does. We do have to count all things as a blessing, and its for our own good. That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
Super big hugs
Lisa
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