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Today I had to call the police after my husband pushed me while trying to take the dog away from me. I hit my right leg / hip on the side of the couch and fell over. I am in pain. I've been sitting all day.
This is not the first time something like this has happened.
A couple weeks ago we got into an argument and he tried to choke me. That same day we argued again and he threw a glass at me - which missed me and ended up hitting the wall and making a hole.
He puts me down constantly. He calls me a Moderator cut: Snip! dumbass, an idiot, a dumb bltch, stupid bltch, weak etc. I am never good enough. I never do anything right. He always does it better. He is much better than me at everything. I will never get anywhere in life.
He's said he wanted to punch me in the Moderator cut: Snip!face and choke me. He talks about wanting to kill people. He's expressed his opinions about hitting women being an OKAY thing to do.
He's been to jail before for assault and harassment which were the 2 things he was charged with today. That incident involved someone else.
So why do I still feel guilty for sending him to jail? Why can't I realize I did the right thing?
Why am I so afraid nobody is going to believe me and he's going to walk away "free"?
Is this a normal? Should I be feeling this way?
I am so confused right now.
Last edited by cricket_factor; 05-15-2010 at 09:11 AM..
Reason: No profanity, please or infractions will be issued in the future. Thank you.
That's absolutely awful what you're going thru. I have a friend who is in a similar position as you and from what I understand your guilt is due to your self-esteem deriving from him and your relationship with him. Is this normal? Well, normal for a lot of abused women, but the word you want to use is healthy. This is NOT healthy.
You have a relationship where neither party has healthy respect for themselves, or love themselves. Two unhealthy people attract each other. Period. I'm sure he's said and done many things to get you to believe that his love for you is real. But he doesn't love himself, because love and respect is practiced on oneself FIRST, and if that's not doable, loving and respecting others is IMPOSSIBLE.
Your guilt is a byproduct of your unhealthy self-esteem issues and your unhealthy relationship with him. That is all. You are not guilty of any wrongdoing. You need to protect yourself and stay away from him. Let him stay in jail. Meanwhile, if you can muster up the strength, determination and courage to stay away from him, you will begin the process of healing yourself and getting healthier.
Abusive relationships do not work. Don't rationalize to yourself that this is worth pursuing, or you'll be dead next time.
terrible. get out out of that one.
9 out of 10 women go back to the wife beater. dont do it.
i have been assaulted several times but did not retaliate.
i did in fact leave them.
Moderator cut: not necessary
Last edited by wigirl920; 05-16-2010 at 04:25 PM..
Why am I so afraid nobody is going to believe me and he's going to walk away "free"? Is this a normal? Should I be feeling this way? I am so confused right now.
I've read at least one of your other posts about leaving him, although this is a pattern with abused women, have you attended any support group or counseling? Your the only person who knows why your still there.
The situation improves for a time, could be weeks, if your lucky a few months, this is how they handle anger, insecurity or frustration. Your afraid no one will believe you bc of self esteem issues and to answer the question..no..it's not normal.
I've read at least one of your other posts about leaving him, although this is a pattern with abused women, have you attended any support group or counseling? Your the only person who knows why your still there.
The situation improves for a time, could be weeks, if your lucky a few months, this is how they handle anger, insecurity or frustration. Your afraid no one will believe you bc of self esteem issues and to answer the question..no..it's not normal.
What are you confused about?
I am leaving actually. Just getting things squared away. I want him out of my life. For good. It sucks when your family is in another country. ( Canada, that is ).That's what I hate the most. I want to be closer to them!
I am not giving him another chance. It is over. Today was such a huge wake-up call. I don't know what happened to my self-esteem. I used to be so happy and outgoing! I am the opposite now.
I am confused about what to do. Stay in Colorado, leave my apartment and belongings behind and get on with my life or stay here and finish school? I am afraid he might retaliate. I don't know.
I was abused by a boyfriend who ended up rapeing me after i had passed out from a medical condition. First I convinced myself that nobody would belive me when I told them, that then led me to convincing myself that hey it was not really rape( I lost conscisnousness and woke up to being raped). this was after being emotionally, verbally and physically abused by him. It was not untill I told my husband the story and he said they guy raped you that I was able to come to terms with it myself . I wish I had told some one, because I know this guy is probably doing it to some one else.
After awhile, when you are abused you become sick yourself, you loose who you are and are stripped of your sense of self. Please, please, get help call the abuse hotline, go to your local womans shelter, they will help you in many ways. I get the being confussed part i have been there myself. I will keep you in my prayers . Blessings Michelle
I'm assuming he's out of the house because of the arrest, with a restraining order he can't return, unless you let him and looks bad for you in court. I don't know if you rent or own, check your states LL/tenant codes, most states now allow for domestic violence, a restraining order is proof for management and lets you out of the financial obligation and removes you from the lease, for joint lease holders.
You never know about retaliation, best thing is to make a plan for safety, pepper spray. Stay low key, without isolating yourself into a depression and keep your plans to yourself or someone you absolutely trust. The arrest may be enough to temporarily shake him up, if he's very bold depending on his issues maybe not, you know him best. Moving certainly would put some distance there and have some family support.
Good luck
Please keep us updated so we know your safe...
If he knows you post online he may do some checking, I'd be careful what I reveal.
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