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How much warning have you given them???? Like diseases? Working on themselves, instead of relationships? Hope for a better life? Just show me your pics so I can go on the net and warn women about you scumbags? Tell me how you get em so I can warn them? I'm sensing more of a warden than a manager of a shelter.
Unless you have worked with the homeless extensively like Ron I hardly feel you are qualified to judge his statements. He is trying to be helpful by sharing information he knows to be factual. You have somehow taken this as an afront to homeless people, which it is not. When dealing with the chronically homeless in shelters you HAVE to be realistic, feeling sorry for them to the point of ignoring their character flaws is dangerous.
Ron, just move along, those of us who HAVE worked with the homeless know EXACTLY where you are coming from and we know you have real compassion, not judgment, at the heart of your comments.
With all due respect any woman who is stupid enough to fall for one of these guys have only themselves to blame. OK, I know I'm getting a little long in the tooth so people (men) can't pull one on me so easily, but I would think it would be obvious certain things didn't add up if I met one of these guys.....
If he'd just got out of prison, he's most likely not to have a car...his clothes might give his situation away, his mannerisms, He won't have money to pay for things on dates (if you get that far), so you'd have to be dumb or blind not to notice. I'm thinking these gals they seem to attract don't have high expectations when it comes to men or be far from catches themselves.
If you live in a city, you don't need a car. Most people don't own cars in NYC. These guys are homeless, but they are receiving public assistance or probably have low paying jobs and they're spending their money to put on a show rather than doing what they need to do.
I work with hundreds of them. I don't make them work 40, 50, 60 hour work weeks to have a roof over their heads and some food in their bellies and then ship em off for a few hours a night to an AA meeting. And I don't condemn them pompously from a PC while everybody piles on support because I'm just doing it to pretect all the virgin mary's out there. there are PLENTY poor people who cannot afford housing and haven't used drugs, broken other than vagrancy laws.
Absolutely. Without question. For example, somebody whose health problems have forced them into bankruptcy. When I was working with our homeless families ministry, there were a couple of people in that situation.
Now, CR would be a much better authority on this, but you could also say that getting to this situation isn't just a matter of one bad decision or one mishap. Often it's the end result of an entire chain of bad decisions, such as spending more than one should, or foolishly quitting a job, or getting hooked on drugs. One of the homeless men I met was a respected CPA at a local firm who got hooked on gambling and drinking until his wife finally threw him out. We had a very interesting conversation about business management. But he had lost everything because of his chain of boneheaded decisions in life. So why would you want to be involved with somebody like that? That doesn't mean you can't like them. But loving them can be hazardous to your own well-being.
Thanks for sharing. I definitely agree. You should definitely only get involved with your own kind, whatever that might be.
No, this message is not an slap in the face to the ladies, it's more like a PSA.
I was at work last night and some of you on CD know that I manage a mens shelter.
Here's the deal............when you meet "Mr. Right" be sure to ask questions and be sure to get the correct answers.
Here is why I say this: The shelter that I manage has a few guys that I would think many women would consider attractive. I find it it odd that these guys meet as many woman as the do. They do in fact meet these women because they show me texts,photos and tell me about their dates.
I always ask the guys: Do these women know you live in a shelter?
Do these women know about your background( ex-con)
Do these women know about your "habit"?(drugs/drinking)
100% of the time the guys always say: NO, I just lie and make stuff up, I never tell them( the women) about me or my situation.
Ladies be carefull is all I am saying because you never know whom you're meeting and taking home with you.
I am not saying all the guys in my shleter are bad but 95% are ex-cons/drug addicts or a alcoholics.
Just because a guy is good looking,well dressed and speaks well, be cautious. Use your head and common sense.
If you live in a city, you don't need a car. Most people don't own cars in NYC. These guys are homeless, but they are receiving public assistance or probably have low paying jobs and they're spending their money to put on a show rather than doing what they need to do.
I don't think its as obvious as you think.
That's what I meant about high expectations. If a gal isn't too concerned about the guys education, job, interests, I guess she can be hoodwinked. I go for a certain type of guy so I could spot one of Chicago Rons guys a mile away. I'm not saying all ex cons are worthless...I've known a few. Both White collar and your street thug and there is a difference. The guy who maybe did time for embezelling money from the company he worked for or was sentenced for inside trading, will have roots in the community and will have family and friends to come home to. He'd still have all his belongings and will have access to a vehicle. He would dress and talk differently from the violent, excon with a drug and alcohol problem.
I work with hundreds of them. I don't make them work 40, 50, 60 hour work weeks to have a roof over their heads and some food in their bellies and then ship em off for a few hours a night to an AA meeting. And I don't condemn them pompously from a PC while everybody piles on support because I'm just doing it to pretect all the virgin mary's out there. there are PLENTY poor people who cannot afford housing and haven't used drugs, broken other than vagrancy laws.
Again, YOU are the ONLY one who seemed to read Ron's remarks the way YOU did. He was not being "pompous" in anyone elses estimation.
Also, there is a BIG difference between the temporarily homeless, or the family who needs help getting back on their feet after a job loss or illness has derailed them, and the CHRONICALLY HOMELESS men living pretty much permanently in shelters. Those are the guys whose mental illness and/or addictions make them more times than not manipulative and dangerous to "do-gooders" who don't know what they are dealing with. Naive women would fall into that category. No one here has condemned anyone, lest of all Ron. He was only offering up info that could be useful in some circumstances, that's all.
That's what I meant about high expectations. If a gal isn't too concerned about the guys education, job, interests, I guess she can be hoodwinked. I go for a certain type of guy so I could spot one of Chicago Rons guys a mile away. I'm not saying all ex cons are worthless...I've known a few. Both White collar and your street thug and there is a difference. The guy who maybe did time for embezelling money from the company he worked for or was sentenced for inside trading, will have roots in the community and will have family and friends to come home to. He'd still have all his belongings and will have access to a vehicle. He would dress and talk differently from the violent, excon with a drug and alcohol problem.
How about a guy with several degrees, well-spoken, had a great family, well-dressed, etc... His wrap sheet was a mile long. When we start thinking that we're too smart to be fooled, we will be.
yup this is the kind of person who agrees with you ron! "own kind"
If Ron is MommyV's "own kind" he is in damn fine company.
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"own kind"
