Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Why are us guys so vain to looks? By this I mean we highly rely on the looks of a woman if we are gonna consider dating or hitting on her.
This has nothing to do with vanity as who and what we find attractive are personal opinions, and, might I add that everyone pursues someone that they find attractive.
and, might I add that everyone pursues someone that they find attractive.
right...pretty standard fare...
and women do it, too, from reading earlier posts. The ultimate in cognitive dissonance for them would be a nerdy and ugly man with a lucrative career....kind of like the old joke about the Jewish dilemma: free ham.
kind of like the old joke about the Jewish dilemma: free ham.
... in other words, it's exactly like that classic anti-Semitic stereotype of observant Jews being so venal that they would eat non-kosher meat if it was free. As a Jew, I find that offensive and distasteful. You should be ashamed.
... As a Jew, I find that offensive and distasteful. You should be ashamed.
Oops...sorry...grew up on the Westside of LA and 20%+/- of my friends were Jewish...THEY told me that joke.
Thanks for focusing on this (you know, the castration part of it) and not the gyst of what I had posted. Also, looked at profile and saw that you sport a J.D., hence the combativeness, I guess.
Last edited by robertpolyglot; 11-15-2008 at 01:27 PM..
If you think American guys are vain then don't go to Italy, they are amazingly vain.
Italian men and women are, without a doubt, THE vainest. I go there almost annually and nowhere have I seen such an emphasis on form over substance. It's cultural, so many of their assets (aptitude for and output in art, architecture, music, design, fashion) are things having to do with outward manifestation. In fact, the term they use is to "fare la bella figura," that is, making a good impression. It is embedded in their psyche.
Italian men and women are, without a doubt, THE vainest. I go there almost annually and nowhere have I seen such an emphasis on form over substance. It's cultural, so many of their assets (aptitude for and output in art, architecture, music, design, fashion) are things having to do with outward manifestation. In fact, the term they use is to "fare la bella figura," that is, making a good impression. It is embedded in their psyche.
EGO = False sense of self, ie my car,my looks, my big house, etc
Don't worry, the women you encounter feel the same way about you, maybe even a bit frightened.
Actually, in guy mode - I attract good looking enough women! Even sugar momma who have more money than me! Then they sigh when they hear "I'm gay!" - But they don't get the whole story! I only crossdress, and I'd never do a man! Maybe I should come out and enlighten them about this!
Today, as I walked in Nordstroms, two white chicks sighed, "he's gay..." I regret that I should have told them - Only crossdressing, not into men! - I wonder what the reaction would be.
When I'm dressed well and look good in guy mode - oh yeah, I attract women. Like 2nd runner up Miss Teen USA back in HS, but she was Fillipino too. She was satrting to leave her BF for me, and he started getting jealous...
Yeah there is. When a guy says he would never date a fat chick he is called shallow by women of all shapes and sizes. So why the double standards ?
Mostly accusations of being shallow come from ugly girls and average girls, I'm sorry. If I told any of my hot girl friends that I wouldn't want to date a fat chick, they'd laugh and say, "Of course not!" They wouldn't think anything of it. But they're also not offended by my standards because they know they fit well within them. They are in the "in crowd," so to speak. They have nothing to fear. But if I'm talking to a girl who is insecure about her looks and said, "Yeah I'd never date a girl who wasn't very good looking," she might get offended, wondering if she's in that group, fearing she's not, even if she has no interest in me, she extrapolates -- what if all guys feel this way?! It's the same with me. If I talk to a few girls in a row who say, "Yeah I'd never date a guy who didn't want kids," then I extrapolate that and think, "Jeez, most girls probably feel this way, guess that makes things harder for me." Even though you talk to individuals, it's human nature to wonder if someone's individual opinion speaks for the majority. If I show a music video I directed to a friend and he says it's not his cup of tea, he didn't really like it, I'm fearing that he won't be alone, maybe I screwed up, rather than thinking, eh, this is just one person. It's different once you already know where you stand. Like if someone told my friend Jill, "Yeah no offense, but you're not my type," she would ignore it because she's a professional model who gets hit on like 28 times per day and can get any guy she wants. So it's all about experience.
It's not vain to care about your appearance, though, and to keep yourself looking good. It's important not just in your personal life but professionally. I like to carry myself a certain way on set, and keeping myself in good shape I think helps the way I am perceived in general, whether by other guys or by girls. If a person keeps great care of themselves, they're in fantastic shape, you can figure they have the discipline needed to go through a rigorous production cycle, for instance, and tolerate the 12-14 hour days that often go with being a director / producer. So it is relevant, not just vanity.
Girls care less about looks, it's true, but they still require some level of good looks at least to be interested, which is natural. If looks meant nothing, I would have had better luck in high school when I was one of the smart, nerdy kids. But I had NO success, at all. I only started getting dates and getting lots of girls talking to me after I was buff and improved my looks. And lucky for me I have more to offer than just looks, which is what counts after you start talking to someone else. The hottest girl in the bar doesn't seem quite so alluring if you talk to her for 10-15 minutes and realize she's a total moron.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
