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Now I don't mean in terms of doing them, I mean, what if men are the only thing that brings happiness to your life, your reason for living, the thing that motivates you to do stuff. Is it wrong?
I am reading a book "Why You're Not Married Yet" by Tracy McMillan. It's a relationship self help book and she talks about the things women do that stop men from marrying them. She uses examples culled from her own life, friends etc to demonstrate certain points. One of those examples struck a chord with me.
She describes a woman named Angie, who NEEDS to be in relationships. When Angie is not with a guy (and any guy will do) she feels restless and unhappy. Life feels flat and boring and she gets depressed. But when Angie is in a relationship, even if it's a bad one, her whole life feels better. It calms her down, restores her vitality, makes her stop drinking as much etc.
Now as I was reading it, I thought to myself "Codependent much", but then I started thinking about my own life and I realized that 90% of my social activities are centered around guys. Let me explain. When I sign up for meetup events, I eagerly sign up for the ones where guys are bound to be there. If I see an event where it's just girls, I don't sign up, unless it's something I really, really wanted to do. So I go to a ton of clubbing and networking events but Card Games with the Girls, no way. A coworker told me she does the same thing. Why go to any event if not to meet guys?
But I also notice that when I go to my networking events and don't meet a great guy, I get depressed. I feel it's a wasted night. But when I do go to an event and I meet a hot potential, I am excited. There is a special type of happiness a hot potential brings to my life. The skies seem bluer, I hear birds chirping...
So what I'm saying is that I am in some ways like Angie, not to the degree of her obviously because I am also super picky and have other hobbies and would rather be single than be in a bad relationship, but we both do things that are motivated by men.
I wanted to discuss this. How much of what we do is motivated by MEN? Is it wrong, or is it nature's way of making us propagate the species.Any other women relate? Hopefully we can have a civil discussion here on CD
You'll feel like that right up till you have your first baby.
Then, if you aren't a brainless bimbo, the men come second best.
Often, this is the start of a slow road of women needing men less and less, and men becoming more and more resentful about it, until the whole damn mess slides into child custody arrangements.
After that, you no longer look to a man to make you happy, if you have half a clue. You and your kids live happily ever after.
PS. some women find they have to repeat the above procedure more than once before it finally sticks.
Now I don't mean in terms of doing them, I mean, what if men are the only thing that brings happiness to your life, your reason for living, the thing that motivates you to do stuff. Is it wrong?
I am reading a book "Why You're Not Married Yet" by Tracy McMillan. It's a relationship self help book and she talks about the things women do that stop men from marrying them. She uses examples culled from her own life, friends etc to demonstrate certain points. One of those examples struck a chord with me.
She describes a woman named Angie, who NEEDS to be in relationships. When Angie is not with a guy (and any guy will do) she feels restless and unhappy. Life feels flat and boring and she gets depressed. But when Angie is in a relationship, even if it's a bad one, her whole life feels better. It calms her down, restores her vitality, makes her stop drinking as much etc.
Now as I was reading it, I thought to myself "Codependent much", but then I started thinking about my own life and I realized that 90% of my social activities are centered around guys. Let me explain. When I sign up for meetup events, I eagerly sign up for the ones where guys are bound to be there. If I see an event where it's just girls, I don't sign up, unless it's something I really, really wanted to do. So I go to a ton of clubbing and networking events but Card Games with the Girls, no way. A coworker told me she does the same thing. Why go to any event if not to meet guys?
But I also notice that when I go to my networking events and don't meet a great guy, I get depressed. I feel it's a wasted night. But when I do go to an event and I meet a hot potential, I am excited. There is a special type of happiness a hot potential brings to my life. The skies seem bluer, I hear birds chirping...
So what I'm saying is that I am in some ways like Angie, not to the degree of her obviously because I am also super picky and have other hobbies and would rather be single than be in a bad relationship, but we both do things that are motivated by men.
I wanted to discuss this. How much of what we do is motivated by MEN? Is it wrong, or is it nature's way of making us propagate the species.Any other women relate? Hopefully we can have a civil discussion here on CD
But then the question becomes...what is your hobby going to be after you "get" the guy?
You'll feel like that right up till you have your first baby.
Then, if you aren't a brainless bimbo, the men come second best.
Often, this is the start of a slow road of women needing men less and less, and men becoming more and more resentful about it, until the whole damn mess slides into child custody arrangements.
After that, you no longer look to a man to make you happy, if you have half a clue. You and your kids live happily ever after.
PS. some women find they have to repeat the above procedure more than once before it finally sticks.
So basically, if I'm reading you correctly, this is all nature's doing......... it's trying to get me to find a father for my future babies and then after that's done, I won't have these desires anymore???
But I also notice that when I go to my networking events and don't meet a great guy, I get depressed. I feel it's a wasted night. But when I do go to an event and I meet a hot potential, I am excited. There is a special type of happiness a hot potential brings to my life. The skies seem bluer, I hear birds chirping...
So what I'm saying is that I am in some ways like Angie, not to the degree of her obviously because I am also super picky and have other hobbies and would rather be single than be in a bad relationship, but we both do things that are motivated by men.
Are you single and in your 20s?
Guys that are single and in their 20s are pretty much the same.
When I was in my 20s, all my guy friends veered nights towards events to meet women. There were always women around. Even some of the ones with girlfriends, sad to say, wanted to go out and meet girls, sometimes just to talk/flirt.
You actually reminded me of how it was for me back then. Some weekends, I'd get shot down so many times over the course of two to three nights in a row sometimes, bars, house parties, etc, it really got me down. But it seems like a distant memory now.
An interesting thing about this topic ... now I'm well in my 30s and a lot of the guys are married and with kids, a few of them, they STILL go out and look at women. They don't do anything (that I know of), but they go out to bars and flirt with waitresses and stuff. These guys lives revolve around flirting with women. The guys that I'm thinking of have absolutely nothing to talk about if not women. Like they don't follow sports, or politics, or want to talk about their relationships. They just want to ogle women. Pretty funny actually.
But then the question becomes...what is your hobby going to be after you "get" the guy?
I don't know, focus on being a wife
Ok seriously, I do have other hobbies, like I indicated. They include reading, fashion, writing, travel and I have multiple degrees, but there's just, I don't know, a greater type of happiness when it comes to guys right now, again, not just any type of guy, the right type.
Ok seriously, I do have other hobbies, like I indicated. They include reading, fashion, writing, travel and I have multiple degrees, but there's just, I don't know, a greater type of happiness when it comes to guys right now, again, not just any type of guy, the right type.
Please take no offense to my next statement but....
The older women (think 50 or 60+ years old) that I know who have lived their lives focusing heavily on having/getting/keeping/finding a man are rather sad and empty (for various reasons).
Please take no offense to my next statement but....
The older women (think 50 or 60+ years old) that I know who have lived their lives focusing heavily on having/getting/keeping/finding a man are rather sad and empty (for various reasons).
No offense taken.
This is why I shared this on CD, to get feedback.
Guys that are single and in their 20s are pretty much the same.
When I was in my 20s, all my guy friends veered nights towards events to meet women. There were always women around. Even some of the ones with girlfriends, sad to say, wanted to go out and meet girls, sometimes just to talk/flirt.
You actually reminded me of how it was for me back then. Some weekends, I'd get shot down so many times over the course of two to three nights in a row sometimes, bars, house parties, etc, it really got me down. But it seems like a distant memory now.
An interesting thing about this topic ... now I'm well in my 30s and a lot of the guys are married and with kids, a few of them, they STILL go out and look at women. They don't do anything (that I know of), but they go out to bars and flirt with waitresses and stuff. These guys lives revolve around flirting with women. The guys that I'm thinking of have absolutely nothing to talk about if not women. Like they don't follow sports, or politics, or want to talk about their relationships. They just want to ogle women. Pretty funny actually.
I figured guys would have their own variation of it. I just wonder if this is just a phase, a normal phase for everyone. I certainly don't want to veer into Angie territory, settling for any man just to get a slice for happiness.
I figured guys would have their own variation of it. I just wonder if this is just a phase, a normal phase for everyone. I certainly don't want to veer into Angie territory, settling for any man just to get a slice for happiness.
So long as you are successful at your hobby, that is you can attract men, I don't see what the problem is with being into it.
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, I mean, what if men are the only thing that brings happiness to your life, your reason for living, the thing that motivates you to do stuff. Is it wrong?
and then after that's done, I won't have these desires anymore???
