Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
There is no question, male or female, that if you want to improve the quality of attention you get on the dating scene....get in shape. This is especially key as we get older. I've seen "average looking" men and women that are physically fit have their stock just continously rise as more and more people in their peer group became "unfit".
This is definitely true. When you look at someone in a certain age group, you generally look at them relative to everyone else in their group. People always qualify their judgments. "She's hot...for a woman her age." People tell me I'm in good shape for a guy my age, which is another way of saying men my age aren't known for being in good shape.
Well I think you can't have your cake and eat it too. I mean if I were to get married, which I think is very unlikely, I'm not adamantly against it as I am adamantly against having kids, but I just think it'd be very unlikely for me. I won't rule it out but at the same time, I would not settle. The girl would have to be virtually perfect for me, I'd have to be late 40s or older, probably more like 55, and she'd have to be 28 or so, gorgeous, successful, probably an actress, wealthy too so I wouldn't be worried about gold digging, etc.
BUT if you really want to get married so bad, let's face it, most people are far from perfect even by their own standards, so they can't really expect to find the perfect mate. If I'm just dating a girl, though, or I want a casual fling, my standards go down quite a bit. Instead of a 9 or 10 out of 10 on looks I'm ok with a 7.5, and instead of having to be totally compatible on major life viewpoints, it's ok if we can just agree to disagree. But I wouldn't want a long-term relationship with a girl like that.
Wow, you're quite a piece of work...you think very highly of yourself I see.
LOL....Sorry but I have to laugh at this one because you hear so many stories where it's always a fixation on the NEGATIVE.
They want a guy that isn't a confirmed bachelor, but they want someone without baggage like kids or an ex and (in my case) if you are a widower then you will just be unfit to have a relationship with because you will be fixated on your dead wife.
I guess some people are permanently 1/2 empty.
Yanno...I don't get that. I think a man with kids, ESPECIALLY one that is raising his kids alone, is all the more attractive. And if he has managed to have a good relationship with them, he's a treasure. But what do I know...I'm just a mom!
As far as a widower...geesh...I've always thought women buzzed around widowers like bees on clover!
written by a 40ish woman recommending that women "settle" before it was too late. Her thesis was that there are important things that one shouldn't compromise on and the rest should be considered as nice but likely not all attainable. Her article sprung from her own experience of regret for not settling and the very limited prospects for women over 40.
This article set off a firestorm of comments on many sights that echoed around for several months. I enjoyed the comments the most because they were a window on why the institution of marriage is in so much trouble.
Most women under 40 were adamant that settling would mean the difference between snagging prince charming and settling for a druken wife beater. What was interesting were the references to long lists of atttributes that a potential spouse must have. Few actually posted these lists - perhaps it would be too embarassing or a potential suiter could use it to perpetrate a fraud! At the same time, attributes like being a decent man, ready to learn and improve with good prospects were seldom mentioned. Those refusing to settle want the full enchilada, not potential!
Any comments on this? What would you settle on. Why would you refuse to settle. Do you think this is a problem for some women?
I will ALWAYS hold out for romantic love and passion. Not worth having the relationship otherwise.
This is definitely true. When you look at someone in a certain age group, you generally look at them relative to everyone else in their group. People always qualify their judgments. "She's hot...for a woman her age." People tell me I'm in good shape for a guy my age, which is another way of saying men my age aren't known for being in good shape.
Yep, there are a couple ladies that go to my gym or that are in my rough social circle that I think are quite attractive and are >50. (I'm <40)
We have a guy at our gym that has to be >50 and he is obviously some sort of bodybuilder.
Well I think you can't have your cake and eat it too. I mean if I were to get married, which I think is very unlikely, I'm not adamantly against it as I am adamantly against having kids, but I just think it'd be very unlikely for me. I won't rule it out but at the same time, I would not settle. The girl would have to be virtually perfect for me, I'd have to be late 40s or older, probably more like 55, and she'd have to be 28 or so, gorgeous, successful, probably an actress, wealthy too so I wouldn't be worried about gold digging, etc.
BUT if you really want to get married so bad, let's face it, most people are far from perfect even by their own standards, so they can't really expect to find the perfect mate. If I'm just dating a girl, though, or I want a casual fling, my standards go down quite a bit. Instead of a 9 or 10 out of 10 on looks I'm ok with a 7.5, and instead of having to be totally compatible on major life viewpoints, it's ok if we can just agree to disagree. But I wouldn't want a long-term relationship with a girl like that.
Dude you really have taken on the Mr Badass Hollywood persona. When I first moved there I couldn't believe people like you existed. Fun thing is almost 25 years later I look back, I have to laugh knowing just what became of some of those guys.
I guess they don't call it lala land for nothing. *shakes head and walks away*
There is no question, male or female, that if you want to improve the quality of attention you get on the dating scene....get in shape. This is especially key as we get older. I've seen "average looking" men and women that are physically fit have their stock just continously rise as more and more people in their peer group became "unfit".
I tend to agree. I'm not in perfect shape but would prefer a guy who isn't any more overweight than I am meaning he doesn't have to have chiseled abs, but shouldn't be morbidly obese either.
I'm starting to train to run a half marathon next year so hopefully losing 15 pounds will be a side benefit of that.
I'm doing the marathon for myself, and if I should happen to meet Mr. Right at one of my many training runs (5Ks, 10Ks, etc.) then that's just an added bonus.
Previous boyfriends of mine have been a wide variety of looks, finances, careers and sizes. I never thought for a minute that I was "settling" when I dated the one who was living with his parents after a difficult divorce, or the one who was losing his hair and was kind of goofy looking. Their personalities and the way they treated me more than made up for their "faults".
To me, settling means marrying someone you do not love, simply because they look good "on paper". If you truly love someone and they truly love you, no matter how much money they have, or how they look, then you are not settling, you are blessed.
Being shackled and awaiting to be eaten by the monster known as marriage.
No not really, just deciding you want to be in a committed relationship.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
meaning he doesn't have to have chiseled abs, but shouldn't be morbidly obese either.
