A dinner date with a much older married man (wife, woman, younger)
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This seems a little odd. Last night I stopped by the local pub and ended up chatting with a very pleasant and well-traveled elderly man who is a friend of a friend.
Since it was getting late and I knew he'd walked there with our mutual friend, who had to leave earlier, I offered to drive him home. It wasn't out of the way. As we were leaving, he found out that the pub doesn't take credit cards, so I paid for his two beers.
He now wants to take me to a very nice restaurant for dinner in repayment. He's much, much older than I am - and he's married but separated.
So, I don't want to hurt his feelings by refusing dinner and giving him a chance to graciously pay me back. I know he's lonely. He's lived an interesting life and is fun to talk to. But isn't this sort of weird? Or is it no big deal?
Eh, if you don't want to go to dinner with him, thank him for the offer but tell him it's not necessary and if you run into him at a pub again, he can buy then. If his feelings are hurt by that, then you're better off not going to dinner with him anyway.
I think it's a tiny bit of both, no big deal and a tad weird. He sounds like a sweet man who just wants some company, and he probably has more interesting stories. Can you suggest he just buy you a coffee? you could meet him and talk for a little while then say you have to leave.
Does he have your contact info?
I don't see it as a romantic date. He wants to thank you for paying for his beers and he liked talking to you. If he's interesting to talk to, why not have a casual friendship? Suggest a lunch or brunch date, and avoid an evening encounter. Older people are cool, and sometimes lonely as their friends move away or die.
Not every elderly man that asks out a younger woman is a dirty old man or Hugh Hefner type. Plus you said that he's a friend of a friend, pleasant and well-traveled. Keep the talk to his travels and your mutual friend. I suspect that he'll behave like a perfect old fashioned gentleman.
This seems a little odd. Last night I stopped by the local pub and ended up chatting with a very pleasant and well-traveled elderly man who is a friend of a friend.
Since it was getting late and I knew he'd walked there with our mutual friend, who had to leave earlier, I offered to drive him home. It wasn't out of the way. As we were leaving, he found out that the pub doesn't take credit cards, so I paid for his two beers.
He now wants to take me to a very nice restaurant for dinner in repayment. He's much, much older than I am - and he's married but separated.
So, I don't want to hurt his feelings by refusing dinner and giving him a chance to graciously pay me back. I know he's lonely. He's lived an interesting life and is fun to talk to. But isn't this sort of weird? Or is it no big deal?
No it isn't weird...he's not living with his wife right now...he is as you say, probably lonely, and wants a dinner date.
What I would do is this...since he is interesting and well traveled, tell him you'd like to go, but you are only interested in being friends, anything more then that you are not able to give him...but tell him, sometimes being friends is better then any relationship....and you might make a friend in him for life? But if he still makes a pass, then I'd move on and not look back...
It's actually your choice, your not doing anything wrong, you have said, he's interesting and fun...so go enjoy...as long as your honest and upfront from the start...remember, he must honor your wishes and if he violates them, then he violates your friendship.
I don't see it as a romantic date. He wants to thank you for paying for his beers and he liked talking to you. If he's interesting to talk to, why not have a casual friendship? Suggest a lunch or brunch date, and avoid an evening encounter. Older people are cool, and sometimes lonely as their friends move away or die.
Not every elderly man that asks out a younger woman is a dirty old man or Hugh Hefner type. Plus you said that he's a friend of a friend, pleasant and well-traveled. Keep the talk to his travels and your mutual friend. I suspect that he'll behave like a perfect old fashioned gentleman.
No it isn't weird...he's not living with his wife right now...he is as you say, probably lonely, and wants a dinner date.
I pretty much agree, but have been thinking what a big difference age makes in a situation like this.
If this man was only five or ten years older than I am, then it really wouldn't be acceptable. But the fact that he's in his 70's makes him safe enough to go out with, despite the fact he's married.
He mentioned her several times last night, usually in glowing terms. I don't know the back story and figure he's resigned to the situation, but not happy to be separated.
It will probably be fun. Cultured, well-to-do men don't come along every day. LOL
Wouldn't get too dramatic about it. One of my best friends is a woman twice my age at 63. We've done all kinds of stuff together and we've been friends almost 10 years. I'm the same age as her children.
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