Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I can't believe I just read that! Certainly, you can't believe that all girls are clueless bubbleheads. We haven't had a guy valedictorian of our HS in a few years. It's the boys that lose interest in school and get sucked into World of Warcraft while the girls see the big picture and do well so they can get into good colleges.
You can buy whatever toys you want for your kids and they'll let you know pretty early on what they prefer. This is not the 50's. Both of you are stereotyping what boys and girls are. As a parent of two boys and one girl, I can tell you that nothing is black and white.
I agree that if you don't want kids, you should not have them. It wouldn't be right to bring children into the world that would not be loved totally and unconditionally.
I'm going by what I see around me as far as girls, whether it's stereotypical or not. Look at the role models that are around. Also if your daughter isn't "popular" and "pretty" nowadays then she's going to have a difficult time. Look at the horrible role models out there right now.
Heck. Why don't you go onto the Dogs forum and ask "Who doesn't want to have dogs?"
Or go onto the Sports forum and ask, "Hey, who else doesn't like sports?"
Or onto the Books forum and ask, "Hey, who else thinks reading is a gigantic waste of time?"
In short, the OP waded into a forum filled with people who enjoy their kids or resolve to be parents, and ended his/her post with this condescending little quote from Dr. Oz. As if none of us have thought about planning our families.
Man, go somewhere else. Hey, if you want to go through childless, have at it. But don't come in here second-guessing our choices, as if we're all just a bunch of mindless baby factories.
yes I bet a lot of parents out there did not PLAN on being parents so soon. A lot of children are accidents. I think some of you are just bitter because maybe you really didn't want one and now you're stuck.
yes I bet a lot of parents out there did not PLAN on being parents so soon. A lot of children are accidents. I think some of you are just bitter because maybe you really didn't want one and now you're stuck.
You are so wrong. Have you seen the length some people go to to have children?
My kids were planned and I am very happy as a mom. We were married for 7 years before I got pregnant so I know what life is as a couple without children. Having children is so much fun.
I wonder how the CF's would feel if parents went into their childfree zone (well, if one existed here on CD) and started posting about all that they were missing by choosing not to have kids? Pretty darn annoyed, I'd bet. Not because they were second-guessing their choices or feeling "stuck," but because frankly, they'd feel as though the parents didn't know what they were talking about. The same way parents feel with CF people come in assuming that most parents didn't consciously decide to have children. Even if a pregnancy was a surprise, there are ways to avoid bearing and/or raising the child produced.
I know that it's human nature to consider yourself smarter than everyone else, but come on now: do you really think that you (general you) and those who have made the same choices are the only people to have thought things through? I can't understand not wanting children, because it's something I've wanted since I was in my late teens. That does not mean that I feel that those who don't have children "forgot" to do it, or "didin't think it through."
I do think that some of the 18-25-year-old posters who are adamantly opposed to having kids will change their minds. Not all of them, but some of them. I'd be interested to hear back from all of you in 10 years or so... my guess is that approximately half of you will be proud parents, or at least considering it. Of course some of you won't... but I can think of quite a few people that I knew in my late teens/early 20s who swore they'd never get married and/or have kids who are now excellent parents of awesome children.
i'm not contemplating it I am 100% positive I will never ever have children
The thought has never ever EVER for a fleeting moment even crossed my mind.
I do not even enjoy being around at all.
*steps out*
I said the same thing too when I was younger and immature.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson
I have for about the past 40 years or so. LOL
Being childfree has allowed me to live the quality of life I could not have achieved otherwise.
20yrsinBranson
I thought the same thing until I was blessed w/ my dd at the age of 37. From that moment, my whole perspective of life changed and I realized the most important job I'll have have is now before me. My friend is childless by choice due to her career and now at 48 is wondering what she might have missed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson
There are people who come to this board to discuss their views about having children and ask questions PRIOR to having them. If only one side of the argument is presented, they cannot make an intelligent choice. It is our RESPONSIBILITY as childfree people to be here and provide the opposite point of view, that's why!
20yrsinBranson
It is not your responsibility to voice your opinion that might change in time. I was your voice in my 20's. If someone is comtemplating having a child, there are plenty of parenting boards geared just for that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raven1976
yes I bet a lot of parents out there did not PLAN on being parents so soon. A lot of children are accidents. I think some of you are just bitter because maybe you really didn't want one and now you're stuck.
I could say the same about you that you are bitter because some of us are actually happy w/ our decision to have a child. Sure there are babies unplanned, but many are here by choice. If you're so happy w/ your decision, why are you on a parenting board?
For others interested in good parenting boards, check out ivillage. There's a great Childfree by Choice forum as well as parenting through every stage of your baby's life. I frequent an Only Child forum, but there's also a Multiple Children forum, Girls Only, Boys Only, among others.
I didn't want kids until I was over 30, met the right person, was done partying and became stable, and realized- i did want kids after all. i just wanted the perfect situation to have them in.
It makes a big difference.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raven1976
I keep thinking that I really don't think I want children at all. Especially now that most people seem to be struggling, education costs are out of control, housing is ridiculous, and many other things are going on in this world. Why would I want to bring a child into this mess unless I was completely stable in all aspects of my life? So many people just have them to have them.
I know quite a few couples that never want to have kids and they are happy as well. I enjoy being around children and have been teaching for a few years, but it's nice to get out and have the rest of the night to myself and my husband and be spontaneous when we want to do something or go somewhere.
I agree with what Dr. Oz said on Oprah as well about having children - "I think, and we have a very cavalier and careless attitude to conceiving children in this country"
So who else has been contemplating not having children??
It is not your responsibility to voice your opinion that might change in time. I was your voice in my 20's. If someone is comtemplating having a child, there are plenty of parenting boards geared just for that.
Well, considering I am pushing 54, I'd say it's a safe bet that I am not going to be changing my mind anytime soon. LOL
The truth of the matter is that when I was young and naive (ok stupid), I went along with the "life script" that says...."you get married, you have children, yada yada yada.... It wasn't until I got some maturity and SENSE that I came to realize that I don't have to follow any script and frankly - I didn't want children! LOL Yes, I guess your opinion does change - luckily for me it was a change for the BETTER!
I respect someone's choice not to have children. If you feel that way then you shouldn't have a child but that doesn't give someone the right to think poorly of women who have decided to have children. One of my very best friends decided in her teens that she never wanted children and she still feels the same way at 33. She's an incredible Aunt to her nieces and nephews but never wanted any of her own. So I do believe that some women just don't have the instinct. Struggling with infertility its hard for me to see the people who become parents and then abuse or neglect the innocents that they have been trusted with. I guess that's one of life's mystery's why those who don't deserve them get to have children and those of us who want them more than life its self don't get to have them.
My daughter is a teacher and is herself a role model of a strong young woman. She's backpacked in the Andes and lived in China for year supporting herself by teaching. She has good friends, a quirky sense of humor, was a Girl Scout for 10 years and is cute and strong. That's how we raised our girl!
I didn't want kids until I was over 30, met the right person, was done partying and became stable, and realized- i did want kids after all. i just wanted the perfect situation to have them in.
It makes a big difference.
Yes, having someone you love and want to share a life w/ makes for an easier decision to have a child, if that's what they want too. I would have had them earlier had I met "Mr.Right" sooner.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson
Well, considering I am pushing 54, I'd say it's a safe bet that I am not going to be changing my mind anytime soon. LOL
The truth of the matter is that when I was young and naive (ok stupid), I went along with the "life script" that says...."you get married, you have children, yada yada yada.... It wasn't until I got some maturity and SENSE that I came to realize that I don't have to follow any script and frankly - I didn't want children! LOL Yes, I guess your opinion does change - luckily for me it was a change for the BETTER!
20yrsinBranson
Not everyone who is young and naive goes along with getting married, buying the house w/ the white picket fence and having children. I didn't! Maybe it was best for you, but sometimes it's not always your opinion that changes, but accepting what never will be. There's no going back w/ some decisions. The fact that you're even on a parenting board makes me wonder.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
