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When a I asked a while back about the best way to introduce yourself to a girl, a lot of you said "just say hi."
Well, I have been trying that for the past couple of days, but it hasn't been working.
I've been going to my normal spots; the cafe, the bar, the book store, the supermarket. If I saw a girl who was attractive standing in line or walking past me in the opposite direction, I've been trying to be bold by simply saying "hi."
Some of them said nothing and just looked confused. Most of them said "hi" back though, some with a smile, but either way, they all just went back to what they were normally doing as if nothing had happened.
This is why I said not to tell me to "just say hi;" that I needed something more creative and unique.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyanosphere
When a I asked a while back about the best way to introduce yourself to a girl, a lot of you said "just say hi."...............
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes
Are you related to Samston?
SHHHHHH! This is the dirty secret about the men on CD. They are all 30 year old virgins, except those born after 1979. Don't you wonder: Why all these late night posts?
If you're really shy/nervous then start small. After they say "hi" back you could ask:
"Do you have the time?"
"Do you know how to get to such and such from here?"
"Have you ever posed for Playboy?" j/k about that last one!
Better yet look for something about what she's doing or buying that you're honestly interested in and ask about that. That way you can have a brief chat about a common interest without getting too personal.
If she responds positively then that would be a good moment to make some funny observation about the topic at hand. Not an actual joke per se, just point out something cute to see if you can get her to smile or giggle.
I'll give you a real life example from just the other day that included some of these elements. Keep in mind I was just going about my business, I wasn't out looking for opportunities to chat anyone up. I was in line at the supermarket and the cashier asked the girl ahead of me if she wanted a bag. She said yes, but then the cashier said: "Are you aware you have to pay for them now?" (Canada just started charging for plastic grocery bags) and the girl said: "Yeah but it's what? Like 5 cents?" So she give sit to her and off she goes.
I stepped up and as the cashier (female) is ringing my stuff up she asks if I want a bag. And I say: "No! Are you kidding? I can't afford 5 cents!" She looked at me to see if I was serious, which I obviously wasn't, and she laughed and gave me this big sweet smile
Little things like that go a long way toward having women warm up to you. But I agree that it can be very hard to do something even this small if you're specifically going out looking.
It's not like I go out specifically prowling for girls (not that I have the time with school, work and my daily routine.) I just want to find a way to meet a girl in my normal, day to day activities.
Y'know, women are constantly saying how they and other women don't like players.
However, if that were true, then how did those guys become players in the first place?
If women didn't like players, there would be no players.
So I'm not so qucik to dismiss what killer has to say.
The truth is most women know weither you [the guy] has a shot before you do. Most "Pick-Up Artists" sell snake oil to not-so-attractive guys to get them to think they actually have a shot. You don't.
I'm a guy who's had candid moments with wimmins over my short time here, and frankly most will tell you privatley they're just as shallow as we are when it comes to looks and status. Players can roll how they do becuase women will make a exception ("He's not like all the others, I can change him!!!") in order to justify being with him.
You're better off working on your looks and projecting masculenity before talking to women in a serious manner. I have not known a single "2" whos landed a "10" using verbage. Just doesn't work. She can simply be-friend you if she likes you that much.
[quote=Cyanosphere;8750880]Well sorry, but your advice was a little vague as well. "Don't look away." Easier said than done! How do you fight that initial shyness to look her straight in the eye and keep from fumbling.
"Wow, that smells good, what is that?" She said "Pad Thai." I say "Alright..." And then what? Oh what a great perfume. Where did you get it? Oh I know where that mall is at, do you like any other perfumes? Yeah, my ex used to wear that. Yeah we split up because she said I was too sensitive......
"Excuse me but what are you reading? The cover looks interesting?" First off, I don't think I could ever honestly say this; I've never found anything that women read to be remotely interesting.Well how do you like that book. Oh really? So you like all science fiction books? What other books do you read. Horror, huh. Have you seen that new horror movie......
"Your bag looks cool, where did you buy it?" She says "Forever 21." Then what? I've never been there, where is it located? Oh yeah, I know now where that is. Have you checked out the new greek restaurant right around the corner.....
How do I make myself interesting without sounding like I'm bragging?[/quote]
When you are asked or told something you don't know anything about, you have 2 options: 1)ask her to elaborate, or 2. ) veer the conversation towards something that you do know something about.
If you are already talking about a restaurant it will be so easy to invite her "one of these days". But leave that till the woman has relaxed and dont automatically ask her right away. What you are basically doing while having small talk with her is helping her relax You need that from her, otherwise you answer will always be NO. Once you have talked to her for about 10 minutes (time flies) , then you can invite her to the new restaurant and offer her your number (and name if you haven't given it). Then don't just stand there looking at her leave, thats creepy. Just walk away with a smile on your face and don't look back.
When a I asked a while back about the best way to introduce yourself to a girl, a lot of you said "just say hi."
Well, I have been trying that for the past couple of days, but it hasn't been working.
I've been going to my normal spots; the cafe, the bar, the book store, the supermarket. If I saw a girl who was attractive standing in line or walking past me in the opposite direction, I've been trying to be bold by simply saying "hi."
Some of them said nothing and just looked confused. Most of them said "hi" back though, some with a smile, but either way, they all just went back to what they were normally doing as if nothing had happened.
This is why I said not to tell me to "just say hi;" that I needed something more creative and unique.
What comes after "hi?"
After "hi" comes non-verbal cues. The reason I always suggest "hi" is because it is neutral. Both men and women have the ability to become extremely more or less attractive once they open their mouths. I'd argue your average women is going to run far away from a man that says something like, "You know what look good on you? Me." whether he looks like Brad Pitt or the homeless guy that tries to wash your windows.
Once you get past hi, it is up to the man to continue the conversation and read non-verbal cues. Women who are attracted to a guy leave a lot of non-verbal cues. They brush the hair out of their eyes. They lightly touch you. They smile a lot. They make a lot of eye contact. If a women isn't looking at you at all, is facing the other direction and doesn't seem to be interested in what you are saying, it's time to move on.
The real trick is to not take it personally. Men always think it's about them. How do you know this? How do you know that the lady you are talking to doesn't have a boyfriend, or is a lesbian, or is planning to become a nun? Could it be because she thinks you are butt ugly? Sure! But why assume that?
When a I asked a while back about the best way to introduce yourself to a girl, a lot of you said "just say hi."
Well, I have been trying that for the past couple of days, but it hasn't been working.
I've been going to my normal spots; the cafe, the bar, the book store, the supermarket. If I saw a girl who was attractive standing in line or walking past me in the opposite direction, I've been trying to be bold by simply saying "hi."
Some of them said nothing and just looked confused. Most of them said "hi" back though, some with a smile, but either way, they all just went back to what they were normally doing as if nothing had happened.
This is why I said not to tell me to "just say hi;" that I needed something more creative and unique.
What comes after "hi?"
So three days of trying, you don't get laid and you think it doesn't work?
Remember they are people too. What if they are not interested or you didn't catch their attention, or attract them initially?
I bet you are projecting your feelings of frustration and expectation. Man breath relax and meet people. Have fun be you. Eventually you will meet some one.
Cyanosphere - What do you do when making new guy buddies and friends? Once you say hi to a girl you like, start off by making friendly small talk with her. Unless she is really sending you signals that she has a crush on you, don't get all worked up over immediately trying to romance her off her feet. If you aren't comfortable being a "player" don't try to fake it. What a woman would like is a guy that is relaxed, comfortable with himself and confident. And part of that confidence is you truly believing that the two of you might get along and make a good couple. I think that you are so unsure of yourself as potential dating material, that your awkwardness is showing to them.
I think that you might want to start off by trying to meet some girls and mentally you putting them in YOUR friend zone. Once you get more comfortable around women and get used to small talking to them, then go the next level of approaching them more romantically. Plus, do you have any idea of what kind of girl would make you a good girlfriend? Just as you are different inside from your guy friends in personality and interests, women are different too. I suspect that you are only saying hi to the pretty girls with no clue as to what they are like inside. So this is all the more reason to just learn to be platonic friends with girls first before picking one out as possible girlfriend material. You just need to interact with a lot more women on a friend basis first. Once you are more comfortable with being around them, asking one out will be much easier for you.
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j/k about that last one!
