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You know what's ironic? When someone who climbs mountain tops to preach about marriage is a product of divorce herself...then later she finds herself divorced in life.
Why? Does this family just collect wedding dresses?
No. There have been studies showing that children of divorced parents have committment issues as adults. In marriages, they are quick to bail and get a divorce.
And... isn't part of the AA communities problems with single parents due in part to bad role models of previous generations? Especially with their menfolk?
Anyway, I see zero reason for the children to have to socialize with each other, ever. No, I would not prevent my s/o from seeing his bastard children, but there is no way I would allow mutual play dates like we're one happy dysfunctional family. I have no desire to live a soap opera. And I can't see how acting as mature adults, the affair could be explained in a way that doesn't put the cheating man in some non-shameful light. How does one explain daddy breaking his marital vows to sleep with some other woman? Too much drinking one night? While children are growing up, it's very important for their parents to show them the importance of keeping a vow or a promise. Accepting the other children and having them socialize with mine is showing them that there are no bad consequences to their dad's cheating.
What does this have to do with this thread? See here you go again...we get it you only like whites and Asians...we get it already...please stop making a fool of yourself and riling ppl up by bringing up AA especially since you know so little about them. Ive already told you that if you want to speak on AA why dont you start a thread and then you can be educated.
This thread is really sad because it show all the things wrong with the world today. You ppl are selfish insecure weak little children.
If your husband cheated and had a child on the side why would you stay if you are not comfortable with him having a child with someone else?
I could never be with someone who didnt accept my child or I couldnt accept theirs. (I dont want kids which is why I dont date men with children). The men who would allow a woman to alienate his child regardless of the situation is a weak spineless fool who needs his testicles cut off.
If I was the other woman (which I would never knowingly become) and had a child with that man he would see his child and have visitation rights and have to take the child on weekends and/or some holidays. My child would not be a secret and I would make sure of it.
Another thing what makes you ppl think that the woman didnt know about the wife maybe she thought he would leave his wife and he didnt.
I am glad not to have kids or want them because what a world they would live in whats done in the dark always comes to light. Secrets are what destroy families and relationships...not just the acts of wrong doing. Sometimes if you just come clean be upfront things are alot easier to smooth over rather than lying and trying to fix things on the back end. Someone brought up adopted kids looking for their parents that is such a good example...but of course it was looked over and more selfish insecurities pushed forward.....I feel sorry for your children and/or families they are obviously built on lies and your children will grow up to be spineless liars like you all.
So your mother divorced a husband just to have a boyfriend? I thought your family valued marriage? So they are just shacking together?
But then again you mention that your mother divorced your father just to get married again, yet you also mention her boyfriend...so your mamma has a husband and a boyfriend?
Who sleeps in the middle?
The main reason my mom divorced my father is that they had a huge disagreement on how to raise us children. My dad wanted us to go to NYC public schools, and my mom didn't. And I feel that she made the right decision. Basically even though she got married after she graduated from college, she still got married too early in life and made the mistake of not discussing their collective philosophies about raising children. While my dad was an engineer, he was not an intellectual. And from that, combined with my past relationship experiences, I learned the importance of my needing a s/o who is my intellectual equal.
At least, I don't hate my mother and sisters like you hate yours. And I'm not a vengeful person. And I'm not a 31 year old ex stripper living in the Netherlands without a job, and being pregnant without first being married... I've also not been embarrassed by having my future MIL walk in on me while I was masturb*ating.
The main reason my mom divorced my father is that they had a huge disagreement on how to raise us children. My dad wanted us to go to NYC public schools, and my mom didn't. And I feel that she made the right decision. Basically even though she got married after she graduated from college, she still got married too early in life and made the mistake of not discussing their collective philosophies about raising children. While my dad was an engineer, he was not an intellectual. And from that, combined with my past relationship experiences, I learned the importance of my needing a s/o who is my intellectual equal.
At least, I don't hate my mother and sisters like you hate yours. And I'm not a vengeful person. And I'm not a 31 year old ex stripper living in the Netherlands without a job, and being pregnant without first being married... I've also not been embarrassed by having my future MIL walk in on me while I was masturb*ating.
Interesting to note that at 51, your intellectual equal is a boy half your age. Mathematically speaking, your brain stopped developing 25yrs ago then. How sad!
Interesting to note that at 51, your intellectual equal is a boy half your age. Mathematically speaking, your brain stopped developing 25yrs ago then. How sad!
Actually, that wouldn't be sad. What would be sad is if someone stopped learning after age 25. The brain is fully developed at 25. By the 40's, it's actually losing ability so having a brain that functions like that of a 25 yo would be a good thing.
To be as sharp as I was at 25 wouldn't be bad at all.
This thread is really sad because it show all the things wrong with the world today. You ppl are selfish insecure weak little children.
If your husband cheated and had a child on the side why would you stay if you are not comfortable with him having a child with someone else?
I could never be with someone who didnt accept my child or I couldnt accept theirs. (I dont want kids which is why I dont date men with children). The men who would allow a woman to alienate his child regardless of the situation is a weak spineless fool who needs his testicles cut off.
If I was the other woman (which I would never knowingly become) and had a child with that man he would see his child and have visitation rights and have to take the child on weekends and/or some holidays. My child would not be a secret and I would make sure of it.
Another thing what makes you ppl think that the woman didnt know about the wife maybe she thought he would leave his wife and he didnt.
I am glad not to have kids or want them because what a world they would live in whats done in the dark always comes to light. Secrets are what destroy families and relationships...not just the acts of wrong doing. Sometimes if you just come clean be upfront things are alot easier to smooth over rather than lying and trying to fix things on the back end. Someone brought up adopted kids looking for their parents that is such a good example...but of course it was looked over and more selfish insecurities pushed forward.....I feel sorry for your children and/or families they are obviously built on lies and your children will grow up to be spineless liars like you all.
So you would want your child to know his father was married to someone else and you were sleeping with him anyway when he was sired? Exactly what do you think your child would gain from such knowledge? Do you think he'd be proud of you and his father? Do you think he'd feel better about himself? Do you think he'd be more accepted as you make sure he's not a secret and, as a result, your affair with his father not a secret?
BTW, I have two step sons who did not know they had another brother until they were adults. They don't care. What the oldest does care about is learning that his mother had an affair and he was the result of it. I wish we'd never told him. If I had it to do again, we wouldn't have.
No, I wouldn't want my kids growing up having to deal with daddy's affair if it was possible to avoid it. That's not kid stuff. And blood doesn't have to be the start of family. There's no reason for it. Family is about unity. Working for what is best for the family. Children dealing with a parent's infidelity is not it.
I am not now nor have I ever said the children should deal with their parents infidelity. That's for the adults to work out. What I have said and always will say is that the children should not be made pawns in the adult drama. Denying them the right to know each other is putting them directly in the middle of the drama. They are forced to choose sides. They are made to feel they are being disloyal for possibly wanting something perfectly natural: wanting to know their siblings. But since you would stand there and let the child know at all times s/he has your disapproval, you force them to choose. Don't be surprise if they choose the environment with love and freedom rather than manipulation and coercion.
Love isn't love unless it's given freely. Love and loyalty that comes from being manipulated and controlled isn't real and doesn't last.
Actually, that wouldn't be sad. What would be sad is if someone stopped learning after age 25. The brain is fully developed at 25. By the 40's, it's actually losing ability so having a brain that functions like that of a 25 yo would be a good thing.
To be as sharp as I was at 25 wouldn't be bad at all.
All I'm saying is that at the ripe age of 51, one should show a lot of maturity & integrity etc not just a lot of wrinkles, spider veins and divorce certificates ...like some people!
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whats done in the dark always comes to light. Secrets are what destroy families and relationships...not just the acts of wrong doing.
