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I am so frustrated. I rushed into marriage 3 years ago with this guy. I knew what I was getting into in a way but I wanted a family so bad my judgment was very clouded. Over the past 3 years he has not kept a job longer than a few months and is always on probation. He has 3 probation in three different counties. And he smokes weed and cigarettes every day and hangs out at a music studio all day. We have moved liked 3 times cause I never make enough money to support us. In march I got laid off of my job and I haven't worked. I can't pay anything or even buy diapers for our son or food for us to eat. Our car is broken down (while his was driving it..out bs'ng around) and has no insurance and i still have to pay the note next week and all the bills. Only by Gods grace have we made it thus far.
I'm so fed up with him, the only thing he does is wash dishes and sweeps, our house is a mess. I never clean because I feel like that is the least he can do when he is chillin all day. He uses his criminal record as an excuse when he doesn't find a job. When I confront him about it he gets verbally abusive and threatens to brake stuff,.... wreck the car....and treats our son very mean.
And with all this ....no matter how bad things are he thinks I'm supposed to want to have sex and I owe that to him cause I'm his wife. Like its my duty to please him sexually. And he says I'm a sh**ty wife cause I don't ever give it up. I'm not trying to keep sex from him though I'm not in the mood to do it AT ALL. Its like he escapes from the stress through his weed and his friends at the studio. I have no escape. When my son is hungry and all i have is Ramen to feed him all day everyday. Why should he feel the pleasure of that sexual release and making him feel like a "man." He says all I want is money, and if he had a thousand dollars then I'd give it up all day long.
If that's being a wife then I can't be a wife right now cause our situation is so bad that I could care less about his needs. If I don't work hard to make things better I know he never will. Sometimes I just want to let things get worse and not pay for anything maybe he'll wake the hell up but then me and my son will suffer. My parents would love for me to leave him and come live with them. If I try he will try his best to destroy my life.... damage my car, my camera equipment (i do photography), my computer ... he'll cry and he may even go out and get a lil job but it wont last.
He's so immature and childish I'm so sick of struggling getting evicted and having our utilities cut off. I can't afford a divorce.... I've been married before ... I can't believe I'm in another failed marriage....I'm a christian.... so I do pray for him but I feel like I should just leave...I don't want it to be 10 years from now and I'm still going through the same thing. Me and my son deserve better.
This is your life. You need to do what's best and healthy for you and your son. This guy sounds terrible. Go. Please. Don't waste another moment accepting this type of treatment.
Sometimes I just want to let things get worse and not pay for anything maybe he'll wake the hell up but then me and my son will suffer. My parents would love for me to leave him and come live with them. If I try he will try his best to destroy my life.... damage my car, my camera equipment (i do photography), my computer ... he'll cry and he may even go out and get a lil job but it wont last.
Sweetheart, sex is the least of your worries right now. He may not ever wake up or grow up. You can't change him or make him do what is suppose to be done. You can only change yourself for yourself. You and your son are already suffering. The best thing you can do for him (and your son) is to leave him and go with your parents. Make arrangements to have your cameras and other valuables moved before you leave. Let him cry, let him get a little job. He seriously needs to grow up and take care of his family. He has to show you on a long term basis, nothing short term.
You know you can't rely on him right now, you only have yourself to rely on. Do you want your son to grow up thinking this is how it's suppose to be? I'm sure you don't. Your son needs you more than your husband ever will. I think you know what needs to be done, but are reluctant/afraid to do it.
Listen to your parents, if they are willing to help you, take it. Go to them and get some state/federal assistance to help feed your son. You both deserve so much better.
Oh good God--YOU CHOSE THIS GUY!!! And now you punish him for it for being the very guy you said "I do" too? The situation you're in is nobody's fault but your own. You knew who he was when you got into it. You have no right to complain about it now.
Owe him sex? Why should he do anything for you when you're so determined to make him miserable for being the guy you chose? If you could "care less" about his needs, there's NO reason he should care about yours.
This guy does, indeed, sound like a loser.
But you chose him, YOU chose him! WHY!?!? You are no innocent victim here. You're reaping the "rewards" of YOUR choice.
I don't mean to be harsh, but it drives me nuts to hear women complain about their guy when they knew exactly what he was like getting into the relationship. If you really feel you deserve better, don't settle for this! Raise your son and stay away from another marriage. . . your son doesn't need any more chaos.
Oh, and don't get married again till you get over the notion that sex is a "duty" you "owe" a husband instead of the intimate pleasure, and special way to let him know you accept and desire him that it is.
Kick him to the curb. Supporting him and your child is too expensive for you alone while he just has fun all day long.If you still want to be with him, then leave and dont go back until he has had a job for at least a month, or however long you think should be enough to prove to you that he is a responsible parent. If he doesnt get his act together, then he must not really care. At least you now have 1 less mouth to feed.
Hey, you are feeding your kid Ramen and subjecting your kid to abuse by this guy who could care less. And you ask if you should have sex with the father?
Do you want to make more kids with this man? So you can feed them Ramen too? Gosh.
Yessssss. Life is hard. It will be a different kind of hard if you leave him. But you will have your self respect, dignity, and show your kid a better way. You have to be strong for your child. There is right and wrong.
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Dump the loser
